Speech by Mark McNally

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Mark McNally
Speech Date: Jul 2001
Good afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen, for those of you who don't me – I'm Mark ..… probably Lee's oldest friend. I'd like to thank Lee on behalf of the bridesmaids for his kind words I think you will all agree that they have done a marvellous job today and look really beautiful.
I'd like also like to thank everyone for coming today to celebrate the marriage of Lee and Karina. Personally I wish you'd all stayed at home so I didn't have to do this!!
As for the happy couple. Karina looks absolutely stunning today. Lee, you look like you always do.… Third prize in a raffle. No seriously, you've scrubbed up quite nicely, though I am not too pleased about you copying my outfit.
Someone once said that being asked to be a best man is like being asked to make love to the queen mother – it's a great honour but nobody wants to do it!! Lee says however that if I do a good job today he'll let me be best man at his next wedding!!
It was probably over a year ago that Lee asked me to be his best man and I understand he went through a long and rigorous selection process as he wanted someone:
· Loyal (yeah)
· Trustworthy (I'd like to think so);
· Reliable (well we both got here on time didn't we);
· Guaranteed not to embarrass him (Ah…).
Well…..(shrug) three out of four isn't too bad… But it has been a pleasure to play this role today. It's been an excellent day so far and hopefully this speech won't ruin things too much.
I would just like to say at this point that I am a little bit nervous, as I'm not used to making speeches. In fact I have to admit that waiting to deliver this speech wasn't the first time that I've spent a few anxious moments today sitting on a warm seat with a piece of paper in my hand.… So please bear with me.
Well, they say a best man's speech should last about as long as it takes him to perform his manly duties in bed…….but as we haven't got all night I'll be brief.
It is customary for the best man to drag up some embarrassing stories from the grooms past and to carry out a character assassination……..But out of respect for Lee on this big day I'm afraid I'm not going to.
I'm not going to mention Lee's habit of getting hopelessly drunk on three pints of lager, and having to walk him home because he can't walk in a straight line, or the numerous times Lee has disappeared behind the bushes on the golf course, or even the time when he had a dodgy stomach and had to “go” behind my car which was parked next to St James's Park……… Joanne never has never forgiven him for using her best cloth from the glove compartment!! So just in case you're feeling nervous now – I have a little something for you!! (produce toilet roll!!)
I'm sure if you have a word with him later he'll fill you in with the gory details from these embarrasing occasions, then if you speak to me I'll tell you what really happened..
Now Lee was born on the 28th October 1969 to his wonderful parents Margaret & Bob. Not many people know this but he was originally going to be called Tuesday, as Bob took one look at him and said to Margaret “right that's it, lets call it a day”. Hence Lee being an only child!!
As a young boy he showed many traits which he still possesses now – looking up girls skirts, unable to play football… In fact, the coach of our school football team once described him as useless in every position. Hope things improve there then Karina!!
But I must say – it's funny how history repeats itself. Only 24 years ago Colin & Tina were sending Karina to bed with a dummy – and here we are again today!!
Seriously though, I must confess that I'm the one responsible for Lee and Karina meeting, with one occasion when Lee slept in her bed when she was only about 16 or 17. Steady on Colin, Karina wasn't in it at the time. This was when we came down to Wiltshire for New Year. But Karina was obviously playing hard to get cos she didn't even give him a second glance, but I sense that even then there was mutual admiration.
But it was about four and a half years ago, around Christmas time, that romance began to blossom – when Karina moved up here from Cheltenham. After weeks of trying, Karina finally agreed to a date with Lee. Karina wasn't keen at first, and I think the word she used was “weird” when Lee bought her a beautiful gold bracelet for Christmas!! She was probably embarrassed because she hadn't bought him anything. But then again Karina has always been tight with her money!!
For all my mickey taking Lee is a great bloke and a good mate, who I am proud to call my friend. I am sure that he will make Karina a loyal and loving husband and sometime in the future, a caring and devoted father.
I'd like to propose a toast to Lee, a good friend and the real ‘best man’ here today. – Ladies and Gentlemen – To Lee.
At this point I would like to ask Lee and Karina to participate in this speech. Karina if I can ask you to place you hand flat on the table . . . now Lee, place your hand directly on top of Karina's..… Take a deep breath and enjoy the moment Lee, as it is the last time that you will ever have the upper hand.
But its not all bad… remember Lee, ….now that you are married you can ALWAYS have the last words – " YES DEAR "
And remember? Always tell her those 3 little words?.. "You're right, Karina"
I now have a few telegrams to read ….… And also some special messages: (Read out various cards and telegrams if available.)
A message from Neptune's Paradise, Mombassa – Congratulations to you both on this day. We very much look forward to making your honeymoon a special and memorable one. Please don't worry if there is some delay when you arrive. We are putting something on for you…..the roof.
I would also like to give Lee a piece of advice that most of the married men in this room will all have learnt themselves, the best way to remember your anniversary Lee, is to forget it just once!!!

Now I started planning this speech about three months ago … and you must feel like I've been delivering it equally as long. But it now gives me great pleasure, not to mention relief, to invite you all to charge your glasses and be upstanding as we toast the the bride and groom
Ladies and Gentlemen – Lee and Karina, The new Mr and