Speech by Mark Scheffers

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Mark Scheffers
Speech Date: Apr 2001
Could I get everyone's attention for just a moment please! I'm the Best man, my name is Mark.

Firstly on behalf of the bridesmaids, I'd like to thank Shane for his kind words, and I have to say they look absolutely wonderful and have done an excellent job today….…

As you see my speech in on paper so please bare with me..…

I would also like to thank everyone for coming today, to share this special occasion with Shane and Belva. I know it means a lot to them., particularly those who have travelled long distances.

It was also good of Shane's parents to show up as well….… Thankyou….…

I sure you'll all admit this has turned out to be a brilliant wedding celebration, But yet every silver-lining does have a cloud, and that is, that you've all got to listen to me, unfortunately.

Well it is said that being asked to be the best man is like being asked to make love to the Queen Mother!…………… it's a great honor but nobody wants to do it……

But it is customary on these occasions, that I get the chance to roast Shane in front of lots of people, so I figured it would most definitely be worth it and I agreed to be Shanes's best man.

As Best man I'm sure you'll agree that my first duty, of getting Shane to the church, sober, on time and eventually married was a complete success.

Other duties I have completed successfully were to Ensure that Shane:

A. uses the toilet before walking down the isle

B. make sure his shoes are tied

C. make sure his face is washed and hair is combed

D. make sure nothing is between his teeth

E. make sure that his Zipper is up

Mmmm… Perhaps his mother should have been best man.

What can I say about Shane…….I've known him for albout 15 years. He's handsome, intelligent, witty………OOPS! SORRY WRONG WEDDING!…… Just Kidding

Shane and I go back. We both started AW Neill and it was no surprise that we were going to be good friends and the biggest class clowns in the school.

Shane and I Lived allot of the Party life through High school & after high school making sure each other didn't get into to much trouble. Shane knows things about me I can't even begin to remember (do to the drinking). But the things I do remember were all good and funny times like the time he came to my parents house, I was sleeping and my father tried to get me up all morning and here comes Shane he told my father ,”I'll get him up if it the last thing I do”. Three hours later after my father thought we had gone out opens the door to my bedroom to find Shane and I both sleeping in my bed giving me a confused funny look

From then on Shane phoned to wake me up.

Well Shane couldn't live the playboy life forever and one balmy September evening he met the woman of his dreams……… A little time after that he met Belva..… Just kidding

Shane, Belva's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Thank God you married her before she found one!…………

Seriously though Shane, you are a lucky groom, you've got her. She's beautiful, smart, funny, warm, loving and caring.

And Belva, you've got…………..Shane.

Anyway I thought it would be a good idea to seek good advice from veterans of the marriage to pass on to Shane. In the hope that some advice and comments will help him as time goes on.

I collected these from married men over the last few weeks. I shall not reveal these Men's names for fear of their wives!.

* 1st Man said ,There are more than 2 rings to a marriage… what about the suffeRing, …….the enduRing ………and the tortuRing!

* 2nd Man said , Love is blind…… But my marriage is definitely an eye-opener.

* 3rd Man said, Always tell her those 3 little words..… "You're right dear".

* 4th Man said Marriage is expensive… I'm still paying for it 22 years later.

* And the 5th Man said Always give the wife 3 months notice if you want to go down the bar with the guys..… and get her agreement in writing.

Thank God for that it's almost over and I hope you all enjoy yourselves this evening and if you have been entertained by this speech please show your gratitude this evening at the bar …… Mine's a bottle of Budweiser.

Could you all please stand now and join me in a toast

To the bride and grooms parents for this special day. Thank you.

And while you are all standing I've just got a few last things to say..…

Shane you are an excellent friend and it's been an honour to be your best man. I wish you and Belva all the very best for the future.

If everyone could now join me in a toast to Mr and Mrs Shane and Belva Lavang. Congratulations!!!