Speech by Marvin

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Marvin
Speech Date: 17/09/2015 17:48:40

Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen.

On behalf of Jill and Kenneth, I'd like to thank you all for making this day so special. It's been an emotional day – even the cake is in tiers. We have arrived at that point in the day where some of us must rise from the comfort of our chairs and make fools out of ourselves! So without any delay, I'll hand over to Jill's father.

Before I begin, let me just say that the formative years I spent in the company of the groom means that he has had a large part in developing my sense of humour. So, although I have tried to make this speech as funny as possible, please blame Kenneth if it's not.

I've known Kenneth for as long as I can remember, but often I look back at our friendship through rose-tinted glasses. I am often reminded by my mother, and his, that all was not as happy as it now seems to be. We used to, well, hate each other. Kenneth used to hide my toys, and I always wanted what he had. Our mothers had to stop meeting up because they spent more time prising us apart, than gossiping about the recent events in Rutland. More recently though, we have managed to put our differences aside; Kenneth is a very good friend – although we do still argue over toys from time to time.

To say we shared a miss-spent childhood is, well, very true. Busking on the beach, pretending to be news reporters for a ‘new Rutland TV show’, and acting as Scottish grounds-men – complete with tea towel on head and a plastic sword for cutting grass, were common activities. At this point you're probably thinking we were a bit weird. We were. Kenneth and I, along with Jared and Lee, have always shared a love for music – from writing songs about Elton John's elbows (listen out for that one!), to performing at a school talent show where no-one could see us or hear us, due to the curtains not opening throughout our piece and someone pulling the plug on our keyboards. Music is one thing that has brought us together.

I was delighted when I heard that Jill and Kenneth were getting married. I do have to say how lucky you are Kenneth. You will leave here having gained a wife that is warm, loving and caring. A wife who is funny, and who radiates beauty where ever she goes. And Jill, how lucky you are as well. You leave today having gained a gorgeous dress and a lovely bouquet of flowers.

On a more serious note, you both are very lucky to have found each other. You are very well suited, and like me, both share a crazy sense of humour. Since meeting Jill through Kenneth, she has also become a good friend of mine too. To see a friend tie the knot is special, but to see two friends do it is even more so.

I'd like to remind you Kenneth of some really usefully tips about marriage I found on a very reliable internet site, namely ‘how to make a best man's speech funny.com’. 1, never go to bed on an argument….Always stay up and argue. 2, always remember the three little words…”You're right dear”. 3, the best way to remember your anniversary is to forget it once.

Finally, I'd like to thank a very special group of people who have made today's festivities and who have also helped greatly to steady my nerves – the bar staff.

I hope you all have a wonderful time tonight, and I wish you both every happiness for the future.