Speech by Matt S

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Matt S
Speech Date: 05/04/2010 19:14:41

(For the wedding of David Lund and Amy Belchetz)

Ladies and Gentleman, I hope you are all enjoying Dave and Amy's special day here at Ripley castle.  

To introduce myself again, my name is Matt and I am the best man for today. 

Before I start I would like to thank Paul and Dave for clearly browsing the internet and using most of my content for this speech.  Luckily for you, and me, this speech will now be a lot shorter than expected.

I would like to say a big thank you to Paul and Polly for hosting this beautiful wedding.  I'm sure Amy has been planning this day for most of her life.  What an awesome setting.  The hospitality has been fantastic, as has the food.

If you could all raise your glasses for my first toast, which is to our hosts.

To Paul and Polly.

Two people who couldn't be here today are Dave's Nan and Granddad.  But they have left a message for the happy couple which reads, “Amy and Dave, we wish you many years of happiness and sharing together.  Love and Prayers.” Nan Norma and Granddad Brian.

I would like to second Dave's comments on the ushers and bridesmaids.  You have all done a great job.  The bridesmaids all look beautiful. 

In fact everybody here today looks fantastic, but I'm afraid the only lady to outshine you all is Amy. She looks amazing.

So, it's time for me to tell you about the one true love of Dave's life.  The Police.  I mean Amy.

Dave has done a great job in finding a girl like Amy.  She is beautiful both in looks and personality. 

Today, I'm sure you all agree she looks stunning, but the one thing that stands out for me is whenever you meet Amy you are always greeted with a big smile, a huge hug and a genuine interest in how you are. 

Dave couldn't ask for a better woman.  And if he did she would probably kill him.

Dave was born 22^nd March 1983.  When writing the speech I tried to link this date with a major world event.  However, it seems nothing important happened that day, although the innocent hospital staff still refer to that day as ugly Wednesday.

Being the modest bloke that Dave (Lund) is.  Of course there was only one place he could propose to Amy.  Loch Lundie in Scotland. 

After the proposal, Amy asked Dave what he wanted from married life. He told her he wanted to be a model husband, a model citizen and a model lover.  Being somewhat naive, I looked up the definition of model in the dictionary.  It read “a small miniature replica of the real thing”.

I actually wasn't going to tell any embarrassing stories.

However, after Dave's best man speech at my wedding I did promise revenge.  So here it goes. 

On a night out Dave always expects everyone to drink at least the same amount as him. As you can see I am not the biggest bloke in the world and normally end up worst for ware after one of our nights out.  I waited years to come out on top and last year on his birthday this finally happened.

After drinking far too much alcohol we were walking between pubs when Dave stumbled, kicked the curb and fell flat on his face.  Of course being Dave's best mate I helped him up. But only after standing over him, laughing and telling him how long I had waited for that moment. 

One of Dave's strengths is that he never gives up.  He managed to get to his feet on his third attempt. 

One of Dave's weaknesses is that he doesn't know when to stop.  Not looking too good, he insisted on going for another pint. 

Thinking I knew Dave quite well I said to him “there's no way you are having another drink because in about 20 seconds you're going to walk over to the river and throw up”.  I obviously don't know Dave that well because he didn't make it to the river and after about 3 seconds threw up all over the pavement.

I got my sweet revenge but I also got a sore shoulder from carrying him home!

One story I have never been able to get out of Dave is what happened in Ibiza. 

The apparent story goes that there was a bit of trouble on a night out and being the proud policeman that Dave is he went over to the foreign police to help. He ended up getting struck by a baton, which broke his arm and ended his holiday abruptly as he had to take a flight home the next day. 

However, when asked about the situation he goes very quiet and seems to have mastered changing the subject.  So a word of advice for everyone, if you ever want to silence Dave, which is a common thing, just ask him what happened in Ibiza. 

Dave's personality and lifestyle has always been very active and you could even say hyper at times.  When we first met, I had never met anyone so excitable!!  He just didn't sit still!!  

But since meeting Amy he has chilled out a little.  Amy, life's a lot calmer since you took him off our hands! “thank you”.

Dave really has settled down since meeting Amy and you can see how loved up he his is when she's around.

Very early on in their relationship I knew this day would come.  Amy, you really do make him happy.

Dave is the most sincere and genuine friend one can have.

He stands by what he says and he's loyal to his friends and family.  This is a wonderful trait to bring into Dave and Amy's marriage. 

Dave, we have had some excellent times together and I know that we will continue to do so in the future.  You have been a great friend to me over the years.  It truly is a great honour to be your best man.  So, thank you.

Ladies and Gentleman, if you could all please stand with me and raise your glasses to Dave and Amy, the new Mr & Mrs Lund.  May you have a great future together.

To Dave and Amy.