Speech by Matthew Mitchell

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Matthew Mitchell
Speech Date: sep 2003
Good afternoon ladies and gentleman, for those of you who I haven't met or spoken to over the course of this weekend , my name is Matthew ‘wouldulikeadrink’, please feel free to say hello and call me by my full name later on at the bar.

I tried to memorise this speech, but I'm sorry if I resort to my notes every 5 seconds. I did ask for an autocue to be set up in front of me, but apparently the wedding budget didn't stretch that far.

I would like to start by thanking A for his kind words on behalf of everyone who has helped in the smooth running of today, so far anyway!!

Also on behalf of L & A can I thank everyone for coming today, I know some of you have travelled a long distance to be here, although from a personal point of view I rather wish you hadn't bothered..… you have turned what could have been a nice day out for me into a bit of a personal nightmare!

To aid me with this speech A gave me a book, “The Best Mans Organiser” and as you can probably tell I have not read it yet, sorry A, although, I did come across this on page 16 and I now quote…

“Maintaining a clear head during the wedding celebrations is vital for the Best Man. You should remain sober…..” (Throw book away and drink beer)

It would normally be deemed traditional at this stage for me to recall events from A's past that he may find embarrassing but out of respect for him on his big day, I have decided not to tell you about them….IN ANY GREAT DETAIL.

I have known A for about 5 years now and in that time we have been through a lot together, Guinness, bitter, lager, most spirits, a few wigs and the occasional wearing of items of women's clothing, for those of you who can't see, i will leave them here, please feel free to look at them later, there is no guessing who wears the trousers in this relationship! (Show photos)

We have had some great laughs on our many weekends and holidays away and my one piece of advice to you all would be never ask A for help with French phrases, he has a tendency to get the French for men and women a little muddled up which can prove embarrassing when ordering coffee in restaurants! I have also noticed that he seems very keen to remove all his clothes when drinking so better keep an eye on how many pints he is drinking tonight eh L!

I have bought you a little gift A. If anyone has been to A's house lately you may have noticed that there is nothing heavy on any of the shelves. There is a reason for this and hopefully this may come in handy the next time (NO NAILS). I know that you have a great passion and wealth of knowledge of all things DIY A so I am hoping this might be of help to you for any future trelliswork or any other job that requires a degree of accuracy. (SPIRIT LEVEL)

On a serious note I feel very honoured to be your best man today, you have both been great friends to me and Lorraine and I sincerely wish you all the best for your future lives together.

A you have married a beautiful, intelligent, talented and exceptional woman.

L, you have married A.

And aren't they a loving couple?? (Phot)

I also have some more best wishes to pass on to you both so just bare with me for a couple of minutes…..…

READ CARDS

Refer to fax from hotel

Well, I started planning this speech 2 weeks ago and I am sure you must feel I have been delivering it just as long but it now gives me immense pleasure, not to mention great relief, to invite you all to stand and raise your glasses to the new Mr and Mrs XXX,………………….…

L and A.

Well that's it from me, let's eat!!!!