Speech by Matthew Puryer

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Matthew Puryer
Speech Date: oct 2004

My name's Mat and I'm an alcoholic……..sorry that's on Wednesday's !

I'm a bit nervous so you'll have to bear with me……….the last time I stood up to talk in front of a group of people I was found guilty and awarded 120 hours community service, which was nice.

I know it's already been said, but I'd like to start by thanking the bridesmaids and pageboys. They look fantastic today and have done a wonderful job and I'm sure that both Louise and Nick will consider using them again in the future!

Not forgetting my gorgeous sister of course, Louise you look absolutely stunning, Nick on the other hand……..you just look absolutely stunned.

I am deeply honoured to stand here before you as Nick's best man, and befitting this honour, proceeded to investigate what the role entailed. A book entitled “The Best Mans Checklist” advised the following:

First of all I was to help the groom dress,

ensure he used the toilet (!),

his shoes were tied,

his hair and face were in order,

there was nothing between his teeth,

and that his fly was done up.

Hmmmm…..perhaps mum should have been best man!

I am reluctant to share too much detail about the stag do, but cheers lads for a great time. [Nod to table of Nick's mates.]. Oh, and that reminds me, Nick – you still owe me forty quid for those last two dances you had.

Now enough of the gags, what I really would like to mention is the pleasure I have had getting to know Nick over the last 3 years and, during this time, have become highly fond of him. I'm sure you'll all agree it has been so enjoyable seeing the union of the four boys who all get along so well, two houses becoming one home, and the obvious joy I have seen in the face of my sister on so many occasions. Has this been luck or a turn of fate they both so very much deserve?

I have never met someone so gentle, caring and loving as Nick, a joke to lift spirits in tense moments, a hug when you need it and as ever that infectious grin. He has integrity, is funny, smart, honest, loyal and above all a wonderful father and partner. Whilst he and Louise are special individuals, I'm sure you will agree they are even better as a couple. I personally feel a great sense of joy that they are married today.

Finally before I make the toasts, I feel it my duty as best man to pass on a few words of wisdom to the newly married couple:

(Look at Louise)

Louise: Men are like fine wine – they start out like grapes and its your job to stamp on them until they mature into something that you'd like to have dinner with.

On the other hand.…

(Look at Nick)

Nick: Women are like a fine wine. They start out fresh and fruity and intoxicating for the mind. Then they turn full-bodied until they grow sour and vinegary. Then they give you a headache.

So now if you'll all join me and charge your glasses to the most important people here today, without whom there wouldn't be such an occasion – in the true family tradition – To The Bar Staff!!!

I jest! Nick, you are truly one of life's good guys, everyone who knows you loves you. I am proud to stand here today as your best man and even prouder to now call you a brother.

In that spirit….it gives me great pleasure, and not to mention immense relief, to invite you all to stand and raise your glasses and join me in wishing you both health, happiness and a wonderful life together.

Ladies and Gentlemen…………….the new Mr & Mrs …… ….Nick and Louise.

All that remains now is for me to read out some of the beautiful cards that have been sent to the happy couple..…

The staff at Lloyds Bank – Louise, you are up to your credit limit on your store card, please make an immediate payment.

And finally from the boys at Chiddingfold Football Club – Louise, Nick's rubbish in every position – hope you have more luck.