Speech by Michael Gill
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Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Michael Gill
Speech Date: Jul 2009
Good Afternoon ladies and gentlemen. For those of you who don't know me im Michael and im the best man. For those of you that can understand Geordie im hoping this will be an enjoyable speech, if you cant then this might be the longest 10 minutes of your life.
Its good to see that garys speech went with out a hitch. Last time he had to stand up in front of a room full of people he was found guilty and fined 㿀0.
Firstly, on behalf of the Bridesmaids, I'd like to thank Gary for his kind words. I think everybody will agree that the bridesmaids look beautiful and did a brilliant job making sure that sarah went against her better judgement and showed up. and Sarah, can I just say you look stunning.
Whereas Gary just looks stunned.
Gary and Sarah have also asked me to thank all the staff at here Beamish Hall for all their hard work and ensuring today went as smoothly as possible.
Some of you, incidentally, may have been surprised by how calm and collected Gary has seemed today – he seemed to have avoided the wedding day jitters However.
That's probably because none of you saw him at 9:00 o'clock this morning when he was lying on his bed, with his mum rubbing his back trying to get him to eat one more spoonful of sugar puffs.
Only joking. I can confirm that Gary slept like a baby last night. He wet the bed and woke up every two hours crying for his mam.
For an occasion such as this I was terrified about making a speech. That was until I found out about the sort of things that I was supposed to say as the best man. I learnt that, up there with the important duties of remembering the wedding rings and getting the handcuffs off the groom at the stag night was a duty to spend five minutes at the reception demolishing Gary's character.
Not one to shun my duties ..here goes..
Gary Peter Donnelly was born on 8th December 1981 and shares a birthday with Sammy Davis junior, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Geoff Hurst. None of these, however, have had any noticeable effects on his singing, physical stature or footballing skills.
In fact the nurses at the hospital still refer to that day as "Ugly Tuesday"
At this point in my speech I would have liked to have told you about the stag night all three of them, but the law of the stag does not allow me to do this, and Gary's solicitor has advised caution until the charges are fully investigated. However I can tell you about Gary's run ins with the dreaded alcohol.
Run ins which include falling asleep at a friends house and awaking to find Gary lying in a puddle of sick. Rather than own up and apologise Gary did what any decent person would do and blamed it all on the family dog!
Another event that I can recall was when me and Gary found our way into Billy's drinks cabinet and proceeded on a challenge of having a drink of each of the sprits.
At about 1:00 in the morning I was awoken to the sound of Gary being sick all over his cloths, his mams couch and new carpet and rather than cleaning it up he proceeded to turn over and go back to sleep.
Needless to say Dorothy wasn't too pleased in the morning but she took it well enough to ensure that the washing machine was turned on just as Gary was getting in the shower so he had no hot water.
See Dorothy. You thought that I was asleep didn't you.
It wasn't that funny. Me and Gary had to have the day off school …….and we got a detention.
I would like to go on but the time has come to read a few cards out.
Read some normal cards
Dear Sarah we have found Gary to be useless in every position. We hope you have more luck… From all the lads at football.
In all seriousness though It's been an honour to be your best man today, and i hope you two have a long and happy marriage!
Gary you're a lucky man. Sarah's a beautiful, intelligent girl with a heart of gold, and she deserves a good husband. So think yourself lucky you got there first!
Id also like to give you this and if you can get it passed security you can have it for your breakfast.
And so It gives me immense pleasure not to mention relief to invite you all to be upstanding, raise you glasses and join me in a toast to the happy couple.
To Gary and Sarah the new Mr and Mrs Donnelly
May your love be modern enough to survive the times, but old fashioned enough to last forever.
Ladies and gentleman the bride and groom.
