Speech by Michael Henderson

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Michael Henderson
Speech Date: Apr 2002
Notes:

I am no big public speaker and I read the advice about just using pointers for the speech but personally, considering the impact alcohol and pressures of the day can have I found it easier just to read the speech word for word.

I practised almost daily for about a week and a half before the big day. The practice means that your delivery is natural and you do more or less know the speech anyway. My poor girlfriend knew it better than me by the end.

Its worth introducing yourself in a louder voice than you intend to speak. This grabs attention and sets your own voice at a good level.

I also drank profusely prior to the speech and this helped enormously. Good luck.

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. Before I start can I take this opportunity on behalf of the bridesmaids to thank Ian for his kind words. I would now also like to read a few of the many cards of congratulations that <groom> and <bride> have received.

THE COUPLE

The last time I spoke in front of so any people dressed in a suit, the first words out of my mouth were ‘not guilty your honour’.

It is traditional at this point for the best man to extol the virtues of the bride and then let her know all the things about her new husband that he hasn't mentioned yet.

So firstly let me say what a beautiful bride <groom> has found in <bride>. Her loveliness and charm are matched only by her cooking skills, which has nothing to do with why I like her so much.

We may be asking ourselves what <bride> sees in <groom>, I know I do. But they say love is blind and marriage is a real eye opener.

<groom>, you are a lucky man, marrying <bride> today. She deserves a good husband…… unfortunately you got to her before she had a chance to find one.

STORIES

I am told that the key to being a good best man is to be resourceful, energetic and diplomatic, unfortunately <groom> never was a very good judge of character

Having known <groom> for over 10 years I have an extensive library of stories that could embarrass him. So out of respect for him on his big day I am going to be discrete and keep most of them to myself.

So im not going to tell you about <groom>s liking for public nudity when drunk, or about the game of strip poker with seven nurses (only six of whom were blokes),

or about the evening <groom> vomited all over a certain landladies apartment only to be found the next day by <bride>, rolled up in a Persian rug with no recollection of how he got there,

and I certainly wont be talking about <groom>s fondness for being called ‘daddy’ <groom>.

SPORT

I share many things in common with <groom>. We both have a great enthusiasm for watching and playing sport. Unfortunately our enthusiasm is matched by a woeful lack of skill.

Over the years this has made us ideal competitors. In fact my first memory of <groom> was on a football pitch where <groom> tried to deprive me of my ability to have children with a mistimed tackle.

Despite this shaky start we became firm friends and our sporting rivalry continues today. This has meant that I have experienced more than most <groom>s shadowy other side.

<GROOM> RAGE

To anyone who knows <groom> its obvious that he is one of the most unassuming, considerate and polite lads you could hope to meet.

However like Dr Bruce Banner another mild mannered man, <groom> has an alter ego. Bruce banners turning point was when he said don't make me angry, you wont like me when Im angry.

<groom>s turning point, usually when losing at sport or driving, is when he says ‘right that's it’. Bruce banner becomes the hulk when pushed beyond his limit….<groom> becomes the Rage.

Fortunately <groom> rage is mostly directed at inanimate objects or himself. In recent years however the rage is less and less common.

I think that the main reason for this is the positive influence the lady in his life has had. <bride> has brought out a more reflective side of <groom>s nature. She has also brought out the romantic in <groom> which was a big surprise to the lads.

Romance is something which inevitably blossoms on holiday The exotic climate can have an intoxicating effect and we are prone to do things we wouldn't normally do at home.

MEXICO

While on a particularly romantic break in Mexico, <groom> and <bride> experienced just such a moment.

Wandering back from an evening at the hotel bar the couple were struck by how inviting the moonlit beach looked. There under the glittering night sky the couple were overcome with passion and found love together in each others arms.

Unfortunately a little later the hotel security guard also found them .… to their great surprise.

CONCLUSION

<bride>, Men are like fine wine, they start out like grapes and it is your job to jump on them in the dark until they mature into something that you would like to have a romantic meal with.

On the other hand <groom>, women are also like a fine wine. They will start out fresh, fruity and intoxicating and then turn full-bodied with age until they go all sour and vinegary, eventually giving you a headache.

On a sincere note I would like to thank <groom> for asking me to be his best man, and <bride> for letting <groom> ask me.

It has been an honour, albeit the most terrifying experience of my life. On behalf of the bride and groom, I would like to thank everyone here for sharing in this unique and special day,

Ladies and gentlemen. If you would be upstanding. I would like to propose a toast. To the bride and groom.