Speech by Michael Long

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Michael Long
Speech Date: Mar2005
GOOD AFTERNOON. MAY I ALSO WELCOME YOU ALL TO THE WEDDING OF **** AND ******. FOR THOSE WHO DON'T KNOW ME, I AM ****, ******’S DAD, AND IN A BREAK WITH TRADITION I HAVE BEEN ASKED TO MAKE A SPEECH. SO I CONSIDER THIS QUITE AN HONOUR. IT'S A LONG TIME SINCE I'VE HAD TO STAND UP IN FRONT OF AN AUDIENCE, SO I AM REMINDED OF THE ‘ABC’ OF PUBLIC SPEAKING – ‘ALWAYS BE CONFIDENT’, AND MORE IMPORTANTLY AND BEFORE YOU STAND UP, THE ‘XYZ’ – ‘EXAMINE YOUR ZIP’! WHO SAID ‘EXAMINE’ BEGAN WITH AN ‘X’?

I WOULD FIRSTLY LIKE TO FOCUS ON ****** FOR A MOMENT. HE'S MARRIED NOW, SO THIS MAY BE HIS LAST CHANCE TO BE THE CENTRE OF ATTENTION! ******’S ARRIVAL BACK IN **** WAS A VERY SIGNIFICANT EVENT FOR *** AND ME. HAVING HAD 2 GIRLS WE WERE INTENT ON PRODUCING A SON. MY FATHER, WHO UNFORTUNATELY CANNOT BE HERE TODAY, HAD NO BROTHERS AND WAS THEREFORE THE LAST OF THE ****’S, UNTIL I CAME ALONG. I ALSO HAD NO BROTHERS, SO IT WAS DOWN TO *** AND ME TO PRODUCE A SON TO CARRY ON THAT ‘****’ FAMILY NAME. ****** WAS THE RESULT! AND THE **** NAME LIVES ON FOR ANOTHER GENERATION NOW WITH THE BIRTH OF ******, SO WELL DONE TO BOTH OF YOU.

THIS BRINGS ME NICELY ON TO ANOTHER ADDITION TO THE **** FAMILY – ****. WELCOME TO OUR FAMILY ****. I DON'T SAY THAT LIGHTHEARTEDLY. ****** HAS MADE A WONDERFUL CHOICE OF YOU AS HIS BRIDE, AND AS YOUR NEW FATHER-IN-LAW I AM VERY PROUD TO HAVE YOU JOIN US. AND I KNOW I SAY THAT FOR ***, ******* AND ***** ALSO. WE ALL LOVE YOU AND THINK THE WORLD OF YOU.

I AM AWARE THAT THIS WILL SOUND BIASED, BUT ****** HAS GOT PLENTY OF GOOD CHARACTER ABOUT HIM. HE IS LOYAL, HARD WORKING CONSCIENTIOUS AND FAITHFUL. HE WON'T LET YOU DOWN. ONE PARTICULAR INDICATOR OF HIS CHARACTER WORTH MENTIONING IS THAT MOST OF HIS PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT, BOTH PHYSICALLY AND INTELLECTUALLY, IS AS A RESULT OF HIS OWN EFFORTS. I CAN REMEMBER THE DAY HE PHONED TO SAY HE HAD APPLIED TO JOIN ************ POLICE – AND THIS WAS FROM SOMEONE WHO DIDN'T WANT A CAREER IN A DISCIPLINED SERVICE! I THOUGHT HE WAS JOKING AT FIRST WHEN AFTER WORKING FOR A FEW YEARS FOR ****** ******* HE SUDDENLY TURNED ROUND AND SAID HE DIDN'T WANT TO SELL ***** **** ******* FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE, AND THAT HE WANTED TO REALISE HIS BOYHOOD DREAM TO BECOME A POLICEMAN. HE IS THE FIRST TO ADMIT THAT HE WASN'T THE BEST PUPIL AT SCHOOL OR COLLEGE, AND COULDN'T WAIT TO PUT THOSE DAYS BEHIND HIM. I THEN REMEMBER HIS SWEARING IN CEREMONY AT THE POLICE TRAINING SCHOOL WHEN THE POLICE SUPERINTENDANT, HAVING LOOKED ROUND AT THE 60 RECRUITS, SAID TO THE PROUD PARENTS, WIVES, HUSBANDS ATTENTING THE FUNCTION – FOR EVERY RECRUIT SAT THERE, THERE WERE 30 APPLICATIONS TO JOIN THE FORCE. I QUICKLY WORKED OUT A TOTAL OF 1800 AND THEY WERE THE FEW SUCCESSFUL ONES – ****** BEING ONE OF THEM. AND NOW SEVEN YEARS ON FROM THAT AND TWO CHIEF CONSTABLE COMMENDATIONS UNDER HIS BELT, (SORRY TO EMBARRASS YOU ******) HE THOROUGHLY ENJOYS HIS JOB, AS I AM SURE MANY OF HIS COLLEAGUES HERE TODAY DO ALSO. WITH ****’S SUPPORT AND WHEN HE IS READY I AM SURE ****** WILL START CLIMBING THE PROMOTION LADDER. YOUR MUM AND I ARE PROUD OF YOU SON. YOU HAVE A GOOD JOB, AND NOW YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL WIFE AND SON YOURSELF – WHAT ELSE COULD A MAN WISH FOR?

BEFORE I FINISH ******, THERE ARE TEN THINGS I WOULD LIKE TO ADVISE YOU NOT TO SAY TO **** TONIGHT:

1.BUT EVERYBODY LOOKS FUNNY NAKED!
2.YOU WOKE ME UP FOR THAT?
3.DID I MENTION THE VIDEO CAMERA?
4.TRY BREATHING THROUGH YOUR NOSE!
5.DO YOU ACCEPT VISA OR MASTERCARD?
6.WHAT TAMPON!
7.HOW LONG DO YOU PLAN TO BE ‘ALMOST THERE’?
8.TRY NOT TO LEAVE ANY STAINS, OKAY?
9.I TOLD YOU IT WOULDN'T WORK WITHOUT BATTERIES!
10. (HOLDING A BANANA) IT'S JUST A LITTLE TRICK I LEARNED AT THE ZOO!!

****. ******. HAVE A WONDERFUL AND HAPPY MARRIED LIFE TOGETHER. LOOK AFTER EACH OTHER AND ENJOY EACH OTHER TO THE FULL.

HERE'S TO THE PAST FOR ALL THAT YOU'VE LEARNED.
HERE'S TO THE PRESENT FOR ALL THAT YOU SHARE.
HERE'S TO THE FUTURE FOR ALL THAT YOU CAN LOOK FORWARD TO TOGETHER.

HAVE A WONDERFUL HONEYMOON IN ***********. YOU'VE BOTH WORKED HARD FOR IT, YOU BOTH DESERVE IT SO ENJOY IT. IT WILL BE A HONEYMOON OF A LIFETIME AND BON VOYAGE. ******* WILL BE IN SAFE HANDS WITH YOUR MUM AND I AND THE SUPPORT OF **** AND *****, SO PLEASE DON'T FRET WITHOUT HIM.

ONE LAST THING ****** … YOU'LL BE PLEASED TO KNOW THAT “I'VE FINISHED” – AND FOR THOSE WHO DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT'S ALL ABOUT – JUST ASK HIM!!

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE BE UPSTANDING AND RAISE YOUR GLASSES TO **** AND ******.