Speech by Mick McFaulds

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Mick McFaulds
Speech Date: Aug2006
I'd like to start by welcoming everybody that has turned out to Stevie and Angela's big day today and hope everybody has a great time.

I'd also like to say,I've been very very nervous about the speech today so I prepared a few lines earlier…and now that I've snorted them I feel absolutely brilliant.

I'd like to say a few thank you's on behalf of Stephen and Angela. Firstly to the flower girls- Shannon,Rachel,Caitlin and Erin. And not forgetting the page boys Jack and Jonathon I'm sure you all agree they've all been brilliant and look great. Another big thank you to the caterers Valerie and Ryan who have made a big effort to make the day special. You can slip me that tenner later Ryan.

I'd also like to compliment Angela she look's absolutely amazing. Not to forget my mate stevie who has scrubbed up well. Those of you who have known stevie a while might have noticed he has gained a few extra pounds over the last couple of years.To be fair He has made an honest attempt to cut back on his drinking to get into shape for today and personally I think he's succeeded!… well round is a shape.

Most of you will have guessed I'm best man number 2 as you all know Stephen likes to break tradition and be that wee bit different.-let me tell you it was stevie's nose I wanted to break when he asked me to be best man but I didn't want to waste the pictures for angela!

It's often said that, being asked to be best man is one of the greatest honours you can be given, on the other hand it's also one of the most terrible things you can do to a friend, so cheers mate.

When I first thought about what to say I didn't have a clue where to start?

The obvious place seemed to be the internet. So, after a couple of hours searching the web i found some really good stuff, but then I remembered that I was supposed to be looking for best man tips.

Once I'd turned my attention to the task in hand so to speak I found some great information on how carry out my best man duties.

I know it's traditional for me to start slating the groom at this point and tell you all about his previous conquests but I'm not going to. Mainly due to the fact that most of stevie's ex-girlfriends never made it through the BSE crisis. The others are celebrating as we speak.

I've known Stephen for a long time, firstly, at school and most recently through playing football. I've got to say he was the calming influence of the 2 of us during our footballing days. Although one Saturday in Greenock he lost his composure and began punching like Mike Tyson needless to say the red card was shown he trooped off the park ranting and raving. But to be fair he's usually a mild mannered guy, he must have had a knock back the night before or had to buy a round.

I don't know if any of you know how Stephen and Angela met …WELL…let me tell you they met in the Glamorous Harlie's bar just up the road in Airdrie. Stevie decided to be the perfect gentleman and offered to walk angela home. So they made their way to the Gartlea Bridge…and Stevie's cheesy chat up line was “Did you know ah used to play for West Ham”…and to be fair he really does remember me of one of their most famous players – you'll probably know one of his famous lines it goes like this “where's the burds” he really is the plains equivalent of Mr Frank McAvenie!!!!!! I'll just put this straight Angela, the only premiership team he ever played for was PLAINS FC.

I've got to be honest for a minute and say that Stevie has been great mate and also great guy and will make Angela a cracking husband. Angela seems to have settled him down and he already looks like the perfect househusband especially with those marigolds on. It also has to be said that stevie has got himself a special lady in Angela a beautiful girl with a heart of gold she deserves a good husband…thank god you married her before she found one.

And finally there seems to be a bit of confusion over where Stephen and Angela are going on their honeymoon. I thought, like many of you that they were off to Dominican Republic but I'm not so sure now. After speaking to Stevie earlier I think they're going to North Wales… Or at least I think that's what he meant when he said he was going to Bangor all week!

On a sincere note, I'm sure everyone will agree that they both make a fantastic couple. I'd like to say a big thank you to Stephen and Angela for asking me to be one of their Best Man today, I'm honoured to have been asked, thanks again.

TOAST

Finally I would like to ask everybody to stand and toast the happy couple… the new Mr and Mrs Findlay.