Speech by Mike Baker

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Mike Baker
Speech Date: Oct 2001
Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen.

For those of you who don't know me, My name is Mike and I have the honour today of being Deans best man.

I'm sure you'll all agree that Julie looks absolutely stunning today and dean cleans up quite well.

PAUSE

When I met with Dean this morning I asked him if he was a bit nervous the night before his wedding, but he told me that he had a couple of beers last night and slept like a baby.

Basically, he woke up every 2 hours crying for his mum.

PAUSE SLOW

I first became friends with dean about 17 years ago, and we have had some wild times together, unfortunately none of which I can repeat at a family function.

Dean has made a special effort today, especially with his hair, not to long and not to short at Julies request,but

Believe it or not, macho man dean wasn't always so macho,
he used to wear make up and spend hours doing his hair thinking it would make him irresistible to women…

Well what do you think

Show Picture

Deans has had a few health problems recently he's just spent
six days in hospital in the premature ejaculation unit
apparently it was touch and go at one stage.

Which reminds me of the day we went to boots for some more makeup as we walked past the condom section he had a few questions.
"What are all these condoms for," Said Dean
"Well you see that 3 pack there, that's for when your 18
1 for thursday night 1 for Friday night and 1 for Saturday night."
"Oh I see," Said Dean, " and what is the 6 pack for?"
"Well that's for when you're 21 . 2 for Friday night,
3 for Saturday night and one for Sunday morning,. "
"Ok, but then what the hell is that 12 pack for"
Dean asks with a confused look on his face.
"Oh that's for when you get married.
One for January, One for February, One for March"

Dean and Julie met in a very, very romantic location.
For those of you that don't know it, The Studio night club in the Mecca, frogmore street,is normally the hangout of drunk wide boys and White stiletto girls.
so it was by pure coincidence that they met on the fateful night.

Out of a mark of respect to Julie I hav'nt mentioned lots of things
about Dean, BUT just so he does'nt think he's got away with it
the stories about

ASTRA GTE
Being sick out the back of his van
a Jar of Strawberry jam

Have not been forgotten..… and mines a large whisky.

But Dean has been a great friend over the years and I could'nt ask
for more in a best friend, and I would like to clear one matter up here and now, Dean being a Postman is not funny,
and stories of him having road rage on his postie bike are
greatly Exaggerated.

READ CARDS
I would now like to take a moment to read some messages of friends who could not make it today.

I would also like to thank everyone on behalf of the bride and groom, for sharing their wedding day, particularly those of you who have travelled long distances, as I know several of you have

I would like to finish with a little advice from my Darling wife to Julie
A man is like a tiled floor, lay it right first time and you can spend years walking all over it.
Not That any Milkins has ever laid a good tiled floor.

Ladies and Gents, please be upstanding. and raise your glasses
.join me in a toast. to the new Mr & Mrs Milkins
The Bride & Groom

In Closing I would just like to say that the Bar is now open, and tea and coffee are available outside the Ballroom.

This evening reception will start at 8.00 in the Ballroom and food will be served at about 9.30

So please Ladies and Gentlemen have a good afternoon and I'll see you later.