Speech by Mike Easton

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Mike Easton
Speech Date: may 2003
Good Afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen

Respond on behalf of the pages
On behalf of the pageboys I'd like to thank David and Sarah for their kind words and gifts.
On being best man ..
A wise man told me that the length of the best man's speech should be no longer than the time it takes the groom to make love …(pause)… Ladies and gentlemen, I thank you. (sit down)

Having announced their engagement in November David phoned me in December saying I've got a favour to ask, he said, I want you to accompany me to Scotland where there are going to be lots of people offering encouragement and singing and at the final whistle there will a huge celebration – I immediately said yes thinking he was inviting me to a Six Nations rugby match – when he tagged on … by being my best man at our wedding – by which time it was too late.

Indeed, being the best man can, I imagine be likened to the opportunity of meeting the Queen – obviously it's an honour, you would tend to get a little bit nervous beforehand and you're probably pretty glad when it's over.

The real best man today is of course Mr. David Larkam and for those friends and family of Sarah's who haven't yet got to known David let me tell you what Sarah's got herself into … I mean….what a fine catch she's landed today.
Childhood David Alexander Larkam, you were born 37 years ago at home in Beoley, S. Birmingham on 24th October 1965 – and by all accounts it was quite a momentous event for all those involved. In fact David was so surprised by his own birth that he remained speechless for about a year and a half.
Now it wasn't long before David revealed himself to be a resilient, determined, sporty individual . In fact for those who know David some other words may come to mind ,(in fact lets have a little brainstorm) but to me the words tenacious, audacious and erudacious are the real words that David still has difficulty spelling.

Now I'd like to think that the reasons that David asked me to be his best man were 1.that we've been friends all our lives 2. David knowing the usual brevity of my speeches 3. in recognition of my positive influence over David throughout those 37 years.
Let's go back a few years to when David and I were nippers we lived not far from each other and used to cycle round the lanes to go and play we used to climb trees, etc and we used to kick around a rugby ball and put in a few tackles.
When David then went to Bromsgrove School and became captain of the Colts Rugby side. He played open side flanker in the vein of Jeanne-Peirre Rives – where he polished his tackle…, developed a firm grip of the oval ball … and discovered the joys of cold showers.

Teenagers
As teenagers, encouraged by our parents, we sailed dinghies at Barnt Green Sailing club and shared a Cadet in which we took it in turns to helm. Now this was a brilliant deal for me because David's probably one of the best crews I've ever sailed with and it meant that he would derig the boat while I chatted up the girls.
Now most of you will be aware of David's has since gone on to sail in the National Championships of over half a dozen different classes always in the top flight … although apparently one of the main rituals of the Lark National championships as well as the drinking of beer is dressing up in women's clothes … pause … I'll say no more.

In David's top level sailing career I'd like to think that the pinnacle was the occasion in the Solent when out sailing with yours truly. It was a lively force 5 and my parents told me not to go out of Keyhaven River but with David on board I felt there was nothing we couldn't handle. Anyway we capsized, and a lack of bouyancy and an outgoing spring tide causing us to drift past the Needles on our way out into the channel half submerged. This resulted in a very exciting tow from Southampton coast guard.

Teenager As teenagers David and I both passed our driving tests at pretty much the same time which was great … not that we were at all enthusiastic about our new found freedom or the excitement of the open road.(oh no frown shake head) Anyway one evening David arrived in Di's white Peugeot 106 to drive us to a party. Anyway as we aproached the hairpin bend, locally known as Devils Elbow… at some speed … I started to grip my seat a little more firmly and rather than navigating the corner we carried straight on through a metal fence and into a field.

Now the miracle of this story is not that the car sustained minimal damage but that when David's father arrived he calmly said “Never mind, as long as you're alright” and even gave us a lift on to the party to which we were headed. I considered we'd got off rather lightly. Thanks, Mike.

Uni After Bromsgrove David went on to Cheltenham college where he began his team racing. Than having had a chat with his careers master who suggested possible careers of Lawyer, Civil Engineer, Vetinary Science or Sports reporter, David went on to Imperial College, London to study Aeronautical Engineering. It was there I believe that David first became acquanted with Scots, sharing a flat with 5 other rumbustious celtic lads who introduced him to the mellifluous effects of alcohol. David soon became a connoisseur of highland whisky and managed to gain a degree in the process.

Apparently one time David was parking a car into a tight spot, not unnder the influence I hasten to add and while reversing there was a lamp-post in his line of sight, so he opened the door while reversing to get a better view – and took the door clean off.

Joke?!
Adult David, having worked for a Civil Aviation company in London for a while then decided it was time to progress up the career ladder to which end he took an MBA at Aston University. Initially David lived in a student house in Balsall Heath until one night in the middle of the night he discovered a stranger in his bedroom, no not someone he'd picked up in town, but a burglar in his bedroom. Slightly perturbed by the situation David sat up and shouted at the burglar to get out, which the burglar promptly did, apologising on the way.

David and I then shared a house in Selly Park. Again this was ideal for me having a drinking partner completely on hand. Altough I did have to help bump start his MGB on regular occasions.
Before long David had landed a job as a stock broker with Albert E. Sharpe in Birmingham and that's where he met the woman of his dreams Sarah

How they met …
Initially their steamy, torrid, red-hot, whirlwind romance of a relationship was kept a secret with David based in Birmingham and Sarah down in London but distance was no obstacle and it wasn't long before they became an ‘item’.

Now this relationship has been quite a challenge for David because Sarah as well as having a lovely personality, a great sense of humour, gorgeous eyes, a beautiful smile and a superb figure ( raise eyebrows ) is also no mean sportsperson.

So David has found himself being run ragged around the squash court, outhit on the golf course, outskiied on the ski slopes, outcycled on the mountain bike trails, but in the bedroom he's been outstanding.
Now the courting's over he's probably ready for a bit of a rest.

Wonderful Occassion
I'd just like to say what a wonderful day and occassion we've all enjoyed so far. The church and service were splendid
Back in November last year when David and Sarah announced their engagement everyone breathed a gentle ahhh as it had always been a matter of when and not if.
David and Sarah are two lovely people who I believe are well suited – and bring out the best in each other.

Before we toast David and Sarah
Here are some cards from people who were unable to make the journey today:

And Finally will you all join me in raising your glasses in a toast.

David and Sarah may your days be long and happy.

David and Sarah.