Speech by Mike Isle

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Mike Isle
Speech Date: aug 2002
When Gez came to me and asked me to say a few ‘nice’ things about him at
the reception, frankly I told him it was a great honor to be asked but I
felt he'd be better off with someone slightly less ginger.
The he offered me £20
I said I'm not a man who can be bought!
So he offered me £40
So good afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen for those who don't know me my names
Mike and it's my pleasure to say a few nice words about Gez today.

Before I get started on my character assassination on behalf of the
bridesmaids I'd like to thank Gez for his kind words and I think everyone
will agree with Lynn and Sarah look beautiful and have done a great job in
making today a very special event.

KATIE can I just say you look absolutely stunning and GEZ well you just
look stunned.

And just so I don't leave anyone out I'd like to thank the ushers Nigsy,
Jim and Jonathan, you all look beautiful as well.

When I was writing this speech I decided to borrow from the great public
speakers of history, however after research there wasn't much wedding
material in the speeches of Stalin, Hitler & Castro, so I tried another
approach.

Webster's dictionary defines ‘wedding’ as the act of removing unwanted
plants from ones garden, but that wasn't much help either so I tried again.

Gez was born on 24th December 1971 giving rise to one of life's great
ironies, what a coincidence that on the same day in 1915 poisonous gas was
first used in warfare. With out going into too much detail the following
words can be linked:

GEZ ? STRANGE SMELLS ? POISON GAS & CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY.

I met Gez when we were about 13 at Scouts I think, they were great days,
Gez was a well liked member of the pack, he got his first knick name MUG
(I'll let him tell you later), Gibby famously chased him round the camp
fire with an axe (not too sure as to the reason again Gez will fill you in
if you'd like to know), he got one of his first tastes of alcohol, half a
litre of Martini Rosso (Skip wasn't too happy when he found out) and my
favorite the time we had to complete a 20 mile walk with an over night
stop, we walked out to a farm (near Pannel for those who live locally)
stayed over night, drunk said bottle of Martini and promptly caught the
train home the next morning as it was far easier than a 10 mile walk,
needless to say we still got the badge.

One of the lasting memories I have from our school days involves his Dad
‘Alan’ and the fact every time myself, webs or Nigs would call round for
Gez he'd get half way out the door to be met with ‘GERRARD DO THE POTS’,
this brings rise to the second irony of the day, strange how nothings
changed over the years, we still call for him today only for him to get
half way out the door and be hit with ‘GERRARD HAVE YOU DONE THE WASHING
UP’

As we've grown up through the years we've been through a lot, poor fashion
sense, bad hair cuts and of course women.

My favorite story on the latter is the time myself and Gez took out two
lovely young ladies ‘Clare’ and ‘Helen’. We treated them to a good night
out in town, a bottle of wine or three and we finally managed to persuade
them back for a night cap. After 10 or so minutes heavy petting ‘with Clare
I may add’ I decided I ought to go and ask Gez if he'd got any protection.
I knocked on the door and on entering discovered the best kind of
protection I'd ever seen, Gez was sat on the side of the bed with Helen
showing her the complete photographic history of his Volvo restoration.

As you all know Gez and Katie met through there love of there job in
insurance. Only the other day I overheard them discussing MUTUAL CLIMAX,
I'd just like to take this opportunity to point out to Gez it's not the
name of a new insurance company !

At this point I'd just like to read out a few cards:
3 cards plus?.
To Gez and Katie all the best for your future ? Lynn (brides twin
sister).
PS Gez please note Katie's the one wearing the white dress.

I'd like to end on a little story from when Gez and Katie 1st met. After a
couple of weeks courting I asked Gez how things were going? He replied in
typical Gez style ‘Michael square peg round hole, that all I'm saying’. Oh
dear I though not good as you'll all know square pegs and round holes don't go. Well I think you'll all agree 4 ½ years down the line for a square peg and a round hole they make a wonderful couple !

Ladies and Gentlemen, please charge you glasses, stand and join me in a
toast to the new Mr & Mrs KING ? Gez and Katie