Speech by Mr Luke

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Mr Luke
Speech Date: Oct2005

INTRO

Good Evening everyone, my name is Luke, and I am one of the best men. First of all, I'd like to thank you all for coming tonight and I would like to thank both Chris and Jess for giving me this honour.

Most importantly I'd like to begin by congratulating the newlyweds. I am certain you will all agree they make a fantastic couple. Marriage asks that couples take each other for better or for worse and Chris, mate, you couldn't have done much better, and Jess..… I suppose it could be worse.

BEGINNING

I've known Chris for what seems to be many years now, and if I have learnt one lesson repeatedly it is that with Chris around, not much remains interesting for more than a moment. So I will endeavor to keep this speech short….first and foremost for Chris's sake and secondly for those of you impatiently awaiting dessert.

After I agreed to become one of Chris's best men I felt this apprehension about what was needed of me to fulfill the role, but looking back now I can only truly see four things that were required of me throughout this whole process. The first of these was to throw Chris a party. Done. Secondly, Brendan and I were asked to kindly show up at Chris's house this morning with a belt and a pair of shoes. Done. Thirdly, we were to get to the Church by 3 o'clock, with Chris. Done, and fourthly, deliver this speech.

It might not look it now, but writing a best man speech is not an easy thing to do. One could liken it to marrying into a harem… you know what to do, but where do you begin?

I'll begin here.

CHRIS

Throughout the time I have known Chris, first at Rosalie and then since school, I have noticed on many occasions habits, incidents, mannerisms, likes, hates, and happenings that have made great ammunition for an occasion such as this to impart on those who might not know him as I do, however as time is short, I will be at the bar later and will be happy to tell you then.

One story that did come to mind though, and passed the screening process involves Chris and his handyman skills. From what I hear from Jess now he has lifted his game but a few years ago, after a particularly good party at a house I was sharing with my two brothers, we awoke to find an enormous gaping hole in the hallway wall. Either out of guilt or some sort of heroics Chris decided that he would fix the hole, no worries. Problem was he had no idea how to go about it. Never one to be discouraged he improvised by filling the hole with 3 tons of newspaper, and when no more could be crammed in, he plastered over the hole. From a distance he had done a great job but up close it appeared like that part of the wall had contracted some awful disease. Chris can attest though to the look of utter bewilderment on the plasterers face when he spent 5 minutes pulling newspaper from the wall before he could do the job properly. Don't get me wrong though Chris, I truly appreciate that you even tried, so I won't mention the door handle that you put in upside down or that puttying job you did on that window you broke.

I can also tell you that Chris has had a great many sporting achievements in his life, yet his greatest was convincing me, more than once, to extricate myself from bed on a Sunday morning for the purposes of playing tennis at the house of a certain girl called Jess. Ulterior motives aside, I clearly remember spending a significant amount of time waiting for Chris to return with the drink of water he had promised me.… some 45 minutes earlier.

It was however, during these interludes that the chain of events began which have led us here today. I have known Jess now for a number of years and can honestly say that she and Chris are wonderful for each other, and a better couple you would be hard pressed to find.

CLOSING

I'd like to finish up by saying what a great honour it has been to be best man today.

To the beautiful bride, Jess, you look absolutely stunning. To the bridesmaids, Jane and Rebecca, I'd like to say you both look beautiful. Chris, I've never seen you look so smart, and Brendan, you're looking good as well, a pity you had to copy what I was wearing.

On behalf of the bride and groom, I'd like to echo what I said earlier and thank everyone for sharing their special day.

On behalf of myself, I would just like to say that if you have enjoyed this speech half as much as I have enjoyed giving it, then I can only apologise.

In all seriousness though it gives me great pleasure to invite you all to stand and raise your glasses in a toast to Chris and Jess,

May your love be modern enough to survive the times, but old fashioned enough to last forever.

Ladies and gentlemen, the new Mr. and Mrs. XXXXX

Cheers