Speech by Murray Hudson

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Murray Hudson
Speech Date: Oct 2001
Good afternoon everybody, I'm sure you'll all agree that this has turned out to be a fabulous day so far.

Firstly, on behalf of the Bridesmaids, I'd like to thank xxxxx for his kind words. They look absolutely wonderful, and have done an excellent job this afternoon in getting x ready and to the church on time.

When x first asked me to be his best man, I told him straightaway that it wasn't really my thing.
He then resorted to bribery, and offered me a tenner.
I told him I couldn't be bought.
He then upped the offer to twenty pounds.
I said, “ Do you really think I'm that cheap?”
He offered me thirty pounds.

PAUSE

So, good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. My name is x and I am the Best Man.

BIG PAUSE

I met x when I started at x University. I was in my first year, living near campus and he was in the dangerous wilderness of the Derby Road. He was in his final year Design and Technology course, attending the bare minimum of lectures, driving a Triumph Stag and sharing a house with the lovely x – who is here today.

Sadly, as I got to know x better, x went off to Thailand and he swapped his dodgy Triumph Stag for an equally dodgy Lada. It did not take long before he rolled the Russian car somewhere between the Wheatsheaf Pub and home.

PAUSE

And I realised that his omnipotent air and the nickname ‘God’ given to him by his flatmates did not denote, deity-like-qualities, but rather that when he provided any food, or did any housework, it was nothing short of a miracle.

PAUSE

I realised too that here was a man with a huge appetite for life, a man who thrived on daredevil sports, and who flirted with danger. In those days, x on a skate-board was a sight to behold.

We both share a love of skiing – so it was inevitable that we would end up arranging a holiday to Val D'Isere. If I remember the car-du-jour was a white Porsche for the drive to the Alps. The car was utterly hopeless in a ski resort and invisible in a whiteout.

xxxx, as she was then, who is also here was one of the poor friends who had to dig us out of snowdrifts.

Anyway – I thought the holiday would be the perfect opportunity to watch in awe as x flew down un-pisted slopes, made mincemeat of moguls, and laughed in the face of black runs.

By the second day, I had realised that x's huge appetite for life was in fact quite simply a huge appetite. Instead of marvelling at his bravado on skis, we instead marvelled as he sampled each and every restaurant that the resort had to offer.

PAUSE

But x's natural inclination towards sloth and gluttony was curbed when he met the gorgeous x. Beautiful, talented and right-wing, here was a girl to live up to, to aspire to, and most of all to win.

The new slim-line x that you see before you today is all thanks to x's arrival in his life. There is no doubt that for x – all his lottery numbers have come up at once. x, however, sadly appears to have got the thunder-ball.

BUT, for me, my first impression remains true; x will always be the man who shares (I should say shared) his life with a succession of beautiful women, drives fast cars, and does the absolute bare minimum of work.

It has been a privilege and an honour to be your best man today. May I take this opportunity of wishing you both all the happiness in the world.

So ladies and gentlemen I would ask you to charge your glasses and please upstanding to toast the bride and groom. Mr and Mrs x.