Speech by Nadya Binnis

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Nadya Binnis
Speech Date: jan 2003
Ladies and gentleman

For those of you who don't know me, my name is Nadya and I have the privilege today of marking the end of David's bachelor days and welcoming in the era of David, Sonia's husband.

You may be surprised that I am here, addressing you as the Best Man. Not quite as surprised as I am though, when I recall that I was first introduced to David after he had just broken my nose in something of a brusque hockey tackle. A rocky start to one of the best friendships I have, but David has never been one to stick to convention.

We have even coined a new Venezuelan word for the day – I should be the padrino, but we now have a padrina!

The location of this introduction was on a windswept games pitch at Pocklington School in Yorkshire, the school being primarily a boys school. At Sixth Form, they allowed in a few girls to the school, to dispel any confusion about the opposite sex….I'm not entirely sure that they succeeded – so, over to you Sonia!

Whatever your thoughts on single sex or co-ed schools, David and I both made some excellent friends at the school, some of whom being here today. I was therefore surprised and honoured when David asked me to be the Best Man and was so overwhelmed I did not have the sense to say no. Once the dust of my acceptance had settled, I had to gen up pretty fast on what it entailed, as funnily enough I haven't done this before.

My key duties were the stag arrangements (more of those anon), to ensure that David arrived here today on time, correctly dressed and sober – hmm… today went OK, but in times past …..(again, more later) and of course, the speech.

The first duty of the speech is to thank Anna the bridesmaid and Joe the Page Boy for their excellent work today, complementing the truly radiant Sonia to perfection. They send their thanks to the groom for his kind words and are secretly enjoying all the attention.

The second duty of the speech is to embarrass David as much as possible. It is here that I have difficulty, as I do not have a kinder, more fun-loving, generous, enthusiastic, supportive, interesting and optimistic friend (I blame his parents personally)….but convention is convention, so here goes:

The stag event which occurred in Liverpool, was meant to be an alcoholic tour of the city, loosely based on a Beatles theme, with some ritual humiliation along the way. Fine in theory, but in practice it turned into an epic Beatles quipping competition with David forging ahead to an early start and never looking back. Alcohol has washed away the final humiliating score, but the last I remember was over 200 to the groom and 3 to the rest of the stags (and that was only because David was rendered temporarily speechless by the team scarf). I can therefore reveal the identity of the fifth Beatle as David – I hope that Sonia realises exactly what a fanatic she has taken on. In case she doesn't, I would like to present her with this reminder (a framed photo of David in full stag weekend fancy dress).

And on to the small matter of time keeping. David is usually conscientious and diligent in both work and play. In fact in the bad old student party days, when the fun continued until dawn, my chief, but still quite hazy, memory of mornings, other than a headache the size of Jupiter, was a bright eyed and smiling David sticking his head round my door at about 8.30a.m. wishing me adieu as he was off to an art gallery, or orchestra practice, or climbing Snowdon or something equally worthy. We never knew how he did it and perhaps never will as he has apparently lost the knack more recently. In my circle where lateness is regularly measured in hours and occasionally even a day, or two, David holds the record for being an entire week late. We were due to have a Summer weekend gathering at a holiday cottage in Devon, but his conscientiousness saved him from holidaying with a party of complete strangers when he called me days after I had returned home, asking what supplies were required. Better luck this year – the wine should taste even better after having been laid down for an additional year!

Sobriety is not an alien concept to David – where others fall by the way side David is usually there at the last, directing taxis with comatose fares onboard, finding the vital lost CD and helping with the clearing up. Maybe he was born this sensible, or maybe he has learned from bitter experience that altho’ sleeping in flower beds seems like a good idea at the time, the average flower bed is diametrically opposite a more conventional bed in terms of comfort and warmth, oh, and beer is not a wildlife deterrent.

Dress sense has never really been an issue with David either. Not that his wardrobe is the envy of fashion victims the world over, it's just that he is a content rather than appearance sort of person, and just happens to be lucky enough to look good in anything. And he just keeps looking younger whilst the rest of us age more or less disgracefully, so much so that we are wondering if he is a 21st century Dorian Gray. And it is not just us – last night he was actually asked his age at the hotel bar!!

On one of the more infamous boating holidays we had on the Norfolk Broads, we were motoring up a breezy river, I cannot say which as the map had gone overboard on Day 1, on the one and only sunny day of the week, when a pair of jeans that had been drying on the roof lifted off, flew down the length of the boat roof and into the muddy wake behind. Despite heroic efforts in the rowing boat to retrieve these jeans (good quality to have as a stag – trouser retrieval!), they sank without trace and we like to think will be preserved in peat bog for eternity to confound future civilisations. But what of the unlucky owner of these lost jeans – David was so concerned he was overcome with smug laughter for several minutes…..before it slowly dawned on him whose jeans they were. He certainly cut a fine dash for the rest of the wet and chilly week, shivering in his shorts, with a very long face.

But enough of the past – we must look to the reason for being here today: David met Sonia whilst in Sheffield, taking a year out from his career and working on his debut CD (the Bulbous Nose period) as well as his forehand on the tennis court. They met whilst singing in a gospel choir and have been singing in harmony ever since.

David proposed to Sonia whilst on holiday in Venezuela last September. After more than two months apart that summer, David arrived in Venezuela, with nothing more planned than catching up with Sonia, meeting her family and enjoying the sunshine and snorkelling. But in his own words, when he caught sight of Sonia at the airport, he just knew…..Luckily for David, Sonia was equally in the know and so when he returned to the UK, he REALLY had something to declare.

Such a wonderful couple deserve not one, but two toasts, so, in the words of one of David's own songs, too many love songs, not enough lovers, we hope today that this is one love song that will endure – to David and Sonia.

And with apologies: a Spanish toast: Quiero brindar por una vida juntos llena de felicidad, Salud!