Speech by Neil
I actually sat down to a standing ovation and received many handshakes at the night reception from people who had not attended the Afternoon Reception but had heard second hand from friends who had heard the original speech. Unfortunately I still was not addressed by anyone as What you having to drink Neil.
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Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Neil
Speech Date: 01/08/2016 21:25:59
After rising from my seat but before I started my speech I turned and addressed the newlyweds :- stating Nicola I would like you to place your right hand on the table in front of you, and Steve I would now like you to place your left hand over Nicholas's and leave it there – All will be revealed later. I then addressed the remaining guests.
Good afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen, I am today's best man and my name is Neil although I would prefer if you would all call me by full name: ‘What are you having to drink Neil?’.
I apologise if I seem nervous as it's not the first time today I have risen from a seat with paper in my hand, but I prepared a few lines earlier (loud sniff) and now that they are kicking in things should be OK.
I would like to thank Steve for his kind words about the Bridesmaids, who all looked gorgeous and did a fantastic job, and I personally would like to thank all of today's team for a job well done – Michael, Jamie, Brandon, Shannon, Lisa and Katie.
The reason I left Katie until last is that she recently became a Mam on the 20th June – (Father's Day) – presenting Steve (the groom) with his first grandchild – Congratulations Katie and Gary on the birth of Harlow.
Nicola – I can't imagine any bride has looked more wonderful than you do today… proving Steve is punching well above his weight.
On behalf of everyone here I would like to thank Nicola and Steve for involving us all in the most important day of their lives. I know they have put a lot of effort into the planning of this wedding especially Nicola, and I can only hope that, apart from this speech, everything today has exceeded your expectations.
Steve – you will leave here today having gained a beautiful wife, who is warm, loving and caring.
Nicola – you will leave here today having gained a (pause and look down at groom, shake head) gorgeous dress and a lovely bouquet of flowers.
Next I would like to say a few things about Steve.
I obtained a copy of one of Steve's old school reports – it reads – Steve was and ideal pupil who excelled at all subjects – (hesitate – shake head and look back at sheets) – sorry can't read my own writing – It actually says – Steve was an idle pupil who was expelled from all subjects.
Steve at work – In the prep Steve is now known as God – God where is he, God what is he up to now, God is he in the smoke shelter again.
Steve at play – Steve is a massive sports fan and has taken holidays to achieve this – holidaying in India to watch the 20/20 cricket and recently – on the spur of the moment – whisking Nicola away to Paris – to watch the Euros – really romantic Steve.
Steve as a married man myself I would like to pass on a few words of advice –
1. Always remember to say the three words any wife is always wanting to hear (pause)… You're right dear
2. Never go to sleep on an argument – Stay up all night until you've won.
3. A happy marriage is one of give and take – The husband always gives and the wife always takes.
Now if anyone is wondering why I asked Steve to place his hand over Nicolas's – I will now reveal all – Steve it has been my pleasure to be able to give you the last 5 minutes in which you had the upper hand on Nicola – sorry mate it will be the last time.
Just before I finish Ladies and gentleman I would like you all to do me a favour and please all stand. Could all the ladies please place your hands above your heads about 6 inches apart? Could all the Gents please also raise your hands above your heads but place your palms together.
I then whipped out a disposable camera and took photos.
Thank you all – That will look like a standing ovation when I post it on Facebook later.
You will be glad to hear that I am nearly finished and to finish –
Marriage is like a deck of cards – it starts with hearts and diamonds and ends with spades and clubs.
But seriously though, marriage is not about finding someone you can live with but it's about finding someone you can't live without.
So Ladies and gentleman please stand and join me in raising your glasses for a toast to the Bride and Groom. We wish them well for the future and hope they enjoy a long and happy marriage.
Ladies and Gentlemen – I give you – Steve and Nicola – the new Mr and Mrs W!
Thank you very much.
