Speech by Nick

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Nick
Speech Date: 10/08/2015 16:37:49

Hello everyone! For those of you that don't know me my name is Nick. A lot of people would describe me as a man of few words….So thanks for coming and drive safe!

Unfortunately that's NOT the end of this presentation but I must warn you of how nervous and uncomfortable I am in this situation. I only say uncomfortable because some bright spark thought it would be a good idea to make me a thick woollen suit to a summer wedding… (And I am roasting!)) I read that in order to help with nerves when performing in front of people that you should imagine your audience to be naked.… So if you see me occasionally glancing over at Brett's Mum Nicola during my speech then now you know why!

If I'm honest this is the first time I've had to write a ‘speech’ so I sought some help from a source very close and dear to me….Google! I found it amazing that I was able to produce something so original and personal from performing a few simple searches. So, [Insert Grooms name] you better appreciate this!

I hope everyone is having a great day and I think we all need to acknowledge just how beautiful all of bridesmaids look today and I'd like to give a special thank you to the maid-of-honour Cara for giving a wonderful reading at the Church earlier. I'm sure you'll all agree with me that their beauty is only outshone today by our wonderful bride Nicola who is absolutely radiant.

I would also like to thank the staff at the Park Hotel who are doing a fantastic job of hosting us today and a special Thank you to Father James for performing a wonderful service this morning.

So let's move on to the main man! This guy has become very dear so I'd like you all to join with me in giving a round of applause when I've finished; he's clever, funny, one of the most talented guitarist I know….and a great tennis player! Its Brett's brother Callum! Also, Thank you Callum for doing such a fantastic job today as an Usher!

Brett and I have known each other since nursery then got separated when we moved to secondary school; during which time Brett decided that haircuts were no longer necessary. It wasn't until around year 10 that we started hanging around with eachother again when one morning on the playground I glimpsed a beautiful, young, slightly chubby, girl with dark flowing locks holding bass guitar. Only after approaching and engaging in conversation I realised, this girl has got a really good taste in music!  Even though, much to my disappointment he did eventually cut his hair and I realised it was actually Brett. … Years later I still can't help but question the sexuality of a man who on weekends dresses up in a brightly coloured silk suit and a wig with three other men to perform for money.

As most of you will know me and Brett often enjoy long hikes and camping trips and I'm sure Nicola enjoys it even more when we go! The thing about camping is that you are forced to sleep in very close proximity with your companion which over the last few camping trips has become more and more of an issue. Now I love this guy but can't help finding irony in the phrase ‘Love is blind’. They say that when you are blind your other senses such as hearing or touch become heightened in order to compensate…or in my case, my sense of smell! I mean, after three days where his diet has solely consisted of flapjacks and cold beans he smells so bad that even the dogs won't sniff his arse.

Brett is a very loyal and forgiving friend, I can prove this today by the presence of Mr. Darryl White. Darryl was given the honour of organising the stag-do to Liverpool, European capital of culture 2008, so we could celebrate the love of his favourite band…I think they're called the Bee Gees or something! Darryl took this honour very seriously but after months of meticulous planning we find the night before we were supposed to be leaving that a key part of the trip had been overlooked…The accommodation. So with only hours to spare we manage to scramble together a plan to visit the next best place, a real cultural hub known for its rich history and cosmopolitan atmosphere…This place of course was Newquay. There isn't a lot more I can say about this trip as I've sworn an oath never to mention ‘The Fishing trip’! … Although if you've heard about the shores of Cornwall being declared an environmental disaster zone, then I can tell you that Darryl was single-handedly responsible!

I really couldn't ask for a better friend than Brett, he truly is loyal and forgiving and will always offer his support and companionship when most needed. Brett, From all of the mountains we have climbed together you've helped me conquer many more personal ones and I can't thank you enough. I believe Brett and Nicola are a perfect match together like Daultrey and Townsend or Jon and Yoko. Nicola is a lucky girl and Brett is an even luckier man and I wish you both a lifetime of happiness together.

So finally I'd just like to tell you both to stay classy and remember that a wise man once said: ‘You may say I'm a dreamer…but I'm not.’ [Toast the Bride and Groom]