Speech by Nobby

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Nobby
Speech Date: Feb 2009
First of all I'd like to thank you all for coming especially you brides name. The day just wouldn't have been the same without you!

I'm sure everyone will agree with me how beautiful brides name looks today. grooms name has scrubbed up quite nicely too – it's amazing what a flannel and a bar of soap can do!

Now don't worry Ladies and Gentlemen – I'm not going to go on too long today because of my throat.
Bride has threatened to cut it if I go on for too long and groom has threatened to strangle it if I mention anything about the stag weekend in destination!

I was a little unsure of how long to make this speech but remembered reading somewhere that the Best Man's speech should last as long as the Groom makes love… looks at watch… pauses.. ..well Thank you ladies &amp gentlemen &amp have a good afternoon. Sit down for a couple of seconds then stand joking aside, for those that don't know me my name is best man and I was genuinely honoured to be asked to be grooms best man today.

I know I am just one of many friends he could have asked but I also know that groom has always secretly looked upon me as the older, intelligent, more handsome brother he never had, and I””ve always looked upon him as the younger, uglier brother I never wanted!

Now as I've mentioned, it is a great honour to be Best Man, but with the role comes the job of writing this speech, and to be honest I wanted to make the process as easy as possible.

Well, I had the house to myself and thought what would groom do in a situation like this? So I did what groom always does when bride is out, I logged straight onto the interweb and started searching. After a few minutes I found some REALLY good stuff, but then I remembered I was supposed to be looking for Best Man tips!!!

I didn't really find that much Best Man advice in the end except that according to tradition I am supposed to SING THE GROOM””S PRAISES and tell you all about his MANY good points. Well, I””m very sorry but I CAN'T SING and I certainly WON'T LIE.

A quick paragraph describing a funny story/anecdote/personal mick-taking

I know that I should take this opportunity to reveal all about grooms past misdemeanours but having played a significant role in most of them I really should keep quiet to preserve my own impeccable reputation.

Now I hope you realise groom, that in bride you have found someone who is attractive, smart, funny and loving. And to bride, I hope you realise you have found .er..… groom!

You””re a lucky man groom, bride is a beautiful girl with a heart of gold, and she deserves a good husband…It””s a good job YOU married her before SHE found one!

Seriously though groom, you””ve been a true friend to me over the years. It's been an honour to be your best man today, and with all my heart I hope you two have a long and happy marriage!

Reading of the cards

Before I ask you all to join me in a toast to the happy couple, and before I make myself more acquainted with the Bar staff, I'd like to take this opportunity to read some cards out from friends and family who couldn't make it today.

-insert cards-

Now then, it gives me great pleasure to ask you all to be upstanding and raise your glasses:

[pause]

May your years ahead prosper with love, affection, health &amp happiness, which you both richly deserve&quot

To groom and bride