Speech by Oxbow Wilson

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Oxbow Wilson
Speech Date: oct 2002
MAY I WISH YOU A GOOD AFTERNOON AND THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING
HERE TO SHARE IN GILES AND STEPHANIE'S SPECIAL DAY

FIRSTLY I WOULD LIKE TO THANK THE BRIDESMAIDS,LIZ, KELLY AND ABBEY
WHO HAVE PERFORMED THEIR ROLES PERFECTLY

ALSO, I WOULD LIKE TO SAY AND I THINK YOU WOULD ALL AGREE, THAT
STEPHANIE LOOKS ABSOLUTELY STUNNING AND AS FOR GILES, WELL
HE JUST LOOKS ABSOLUTELY STUNNED.

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T KNOW ME MY NAME IS JIM, GILES'S OLDER
BROTHER, OR AS MY FRIENDS CALL ME ‘JIM WOULD YOU LIKE A DRINK"
SO I WOULD LIKE TO THINK WE ARE ALL FRIENDS HERE TODAY.

WELL, THAT'S MOST OF THE PLEASANTRIES OUT OF THE WAY, NOW ITS MY
TURN TO TELL YOU A LITTLE BIT ABOUT OUR GROOM.

GILEYBEAR, AS MUM STILL LIKES TO CALL HIM, WAS ALWAYS VERY ACTIVE
AT SCHOOL WHICH IS WHERE HE DEVELOPED HIS FIRST PASSION …..…
BREAKDANCING!! THIS WAS THE ONLY TIME IN GILES’ LIFE HE WAS ORGANISED, HE SUPPLIED THE LOT! THE GETTO BLASTER THE MUSIC, THE MR SHEEN POLISHING WAX, AND A RATHER LARGE PORTION OF MUMS KITCHEN FLOOR
(AND YOU NEEDN'T LAUGH DARREN, I CAN REMEMBER YOU DOING A BIT OF ELECTRIC BOOGALOO)
BUT AS WE CAN SEE ALL THAT HEAD SPINNING HASN’ T DONE EITHER OF THEM TOO MUCH DAMAGE

THEN CAME THE CROSSING DAYS, WHEN WE’ D OFTEN SEE GILES IN A VERY TIGHT BLUE, ALL IN ONE LYCRA LEOTARD, THE ONLY WAY HE COULD GET AWAY WITH THIS WAS TO BECOME A MEMBER OF THE KANGAROOS GYMNASTIC DISPLAY TEAM.
(AND AGAIN DARREN YOU NEEDN’ T LAUGH !! )

ALL THIS TALK OF BOYS JUMPING AROUND BRINGS ME ON TO MORE RECENT EVENTS, THE STAG DO, WHICH ACTUALLY I CANNOT TALK TOO MUCH ABOUT AS GILES'S SOLICITOR HAS ADVISED CAUTION UNTIL AFTER THE COURT CASE NEXT MONTH. HOWEVER I HAVE BEEN INFORMED BY THE RSPCA THAT THE DONKEY WILL MAKE A FULL RECOVERY.

NOW, GILES IS PROBABLY BEST KNOWN FOR HIS EXTREME LOVE FOR FRIDAY NIGHTS, FRIDAY NIGHT IS BOYS ONLY NIGHT AND GILES HASN’ T MISSED A BOYS ONLY FRIDAY NIGHT FOR AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER
AND US BOYS HAVE BECOMING INCREASINGLY WORRIED ABOUT HOW GILES WILL COPE WHILST ON HIS HONEYMOON. SO WE’ VE ALL CHIPPED IN AND GOT YOU 2 FRIDAY NIGHT PLANE TICKETS HOME SO HE DOESN’ T GET ANY WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS.
ONE FRIDAY NIGHT THAT STANDS OUT ABOVE ALL THE REST WAS ONE ABOUT 4 YEARS AGO. AS USUAL GILES WENT INTO TOWN TO MEET STELLA,
(THAT'S STELLA ARTOIS STEPH, SO DON'T PANIC! )
GILES AND STELLA SEEMED TO BE GETTING ON BETTER THAN USUAL THIS PARTICULAR NIGHT UNTIL IT WAS TIME TO GO HOME. THIS IS WHEN STELLA STARTED TO PLAY TRICKS ON GILES AND MADE HIM BELIEVE HE WAS A YOUNG BOY AGAIN. GILES SNUGGLED DOWN FOR THE NIGHT AND WAS SOON FAST ASLEEP, NOT LIKE MUM AND DAD WHO WERE SOON WIDE AWAKE DUE TO THE FACT THAT THEIR 25 YEAR OLD SON HAD SNUGGLED DOWN FOR THE NIGHT SLAP BANG IN BETWEEN THE MIDDLE OF THEM, IN THEIR BED!

SO MUM AND DAD WOKE GILES UP TO ASK " IS EVERYTHING O.K ? TO WHICH GILES REPLIED IN A HUFF "WELL, IF YOU DON'T WANT ME IN HERE WITH YOU I’ LL GO AND SLEEP IN MY OWN BED" AND FEELING VERY PUT OUT WITH HIS PARENTS FOR NOT WANTING HIM IN THEIR BED, OFF HE WENT BACK TO HIS OWN.

WELL, I THINK ITS ONLY FAIR, AS NOT TO LET GILES STEAL ALL THE LIME LIGHT, THAT I SHOULD MENTION A LITTLE SOMETHING ABOUT OUR BRIDE HERE.

STEPHANIE, AS I HAVE BEEN RELIABLY INFORMED, AS A YOUNG GIRL WAS VERY FOND OF A PAIR OF LITTLE RED WELLIES, SO MUCH SO THAT SHE WOULD NEVER TAKE THEM OFF. IF MUM AND DAD TOOK HER SHOPPING SHE WOULD BE WEARING THE LITTLE RED WELLIES, IF SHE WENT TO A FAMILY PARTY, LITTLE RED WELLIES EVEN IF SHE WAS GOING SOMEWHERE POSH WITH A BRAND NEW FROCK ON, YES YOU'VE GUESSED IT, SHE'D BE WEARING HER LITTLE RED WELLIES. BUT THE BIGGEST PROBLEM OF ALL CAME AT BEDTIMES, WHEN THE ONLY WAY MUM AND DAD COULD GET STEPHANIE TO GO TO SLEEP WAS TO PLACE HER LITTLE RED WELLIES RIGHT NEXT TO HER BED. HOWEVER EVERY NIGHT BEFORE GOING TO BED THEMSELVES MUM AND DAD WOULD CHECK ON STEPHANIE, AND EVERY NIGHT STICKING OUT FROM UNDERNEATH THE QUILT……THOSE LITTLE RED WELLIES!

SO, GILES IF YOU HAVE ANY TROUBLE GETTING STEPHANIE INTO BED TONIGHT, YOU COULD ALWAYS ENTICE HER WITH………..THESE! (PRODUCE LITTLE RED WELLIES)

NOW THEN ON AMORE SERIOUS NOTE, I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE A FEW TOASTS.

FIRSTLY I WOULD LIKE TO THANK ALL THE STAFF AT THE BELFRY FOR A WONDERFUL MEAL AND ALL THEIR HARD WORK TODAY.

THE BELFRY!

OH, AND ANY CHANCE OF A FREE GOLF MEMBERSHIP?

THERE ARE ALSO PEOPLE WE WOULD HAVE LIKED TO HAVE BEEN HERE BUT ARE NOT, SO I WOULD LIKE US ALL TO RAISE A GLASS TO ABSENT FRIENDS.

ABSENT FRIENDS!

I WOULD NOW LIKE TO READ A FEW CARDS.…

GILES, WE COULD HAVE BEEN SO GOOD TOGETHER.
THAT ONES FROM KYLIE

DON'T GO FORGETTING US NOW YOUR MARRIED GILES.
LOVE ALL THE GIRLS AT HOT SPICE SAUNA AND MASSAGE.

I'VE ALSO HAD A FAX HERE FROM THE MOON PALACE IN MEXICO, WHERE YOU WILL BE SPENDING YOUR HONEYMOON, IT READS:

CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU BOTH ON YOUR WEDDING DAY, WE ARE VERY MUCH LOOKING FORWARD TO MAKING YOUR STAY HERE WITH US A MEMORABLE ONE. DON'T WORRY IF YOU HAVE ANY DELAYS GETTING HERE WE ARE PUTTING SOMETHING SPECIAL ON FOR YOU….…
THE ROOF!

I WOULD LIKE TO SAY GILES THAT I AM EXTREMELY PROUD TO BE YOUR BEST MAN TODAY, YOU HAVE BEEN THE BEST BROTHER I COULD HAVE EVER ASKED FOR AND YOU OBVIOUSLY HAVE AN EYE FOR A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.

I HAVE NO DOUBT THAT YOUR LOVE IS MODERN ENOUGH TO SURVIVE THE TIMES AND OLD FASHIONED ENOUGH TO LAST FOREVER.

AND FINALLY PLEAS COULD YOU ALL RAISE YOUR GLASSES AS WE TOAST THE NEW MR AND MRS WILSON..…
GILES AND STEPHANIE