Speech by P Hayes

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: P Hayes
Speech Date: aug 2002
GOOD AFTERNOON I HOPE YOUR ALL HAVING A GOOD TIME LIKE I WAS UNTIL ABOUT THIRTY SECONDS AGO!

FIRST OF ALL I WOULD LIKE TO THANK STEVE FOR HIS GREAT SPEECH,HE'S BEEN TRYING TO CONVINCE ME ALL WEEK THAT HE DIDN'T NEED TO WRITE IT DOWN AND HE HAD IT ALL IN HIS HEAD BUT I'M PRETTY SURE I SAW A COPY OF IT ON HIS BED THIS MORNING.

AND SECONDLY I WOULD JUST LIKE TO SAY AGAIN WHAT A GREAT JOB LARA AND JAMIE HAVE DONE, AND I'M SURE YOU WILL ALL AGREE WITH ME WHEN I SAY THAT KIRSTEN LOOKS GREAT AND MAKES A STUNNING BRIDE.

I WAS SURPRISED BUT PLEASED TO BE CHOSEN AS STEVE'S BEST MAN BUT ALSO VERY NERVOUS AS PUBLIC SPEAKING ISN'T ONE OF MY STRONGEST POINTS INFACT I'D JUST LIKE TO SAY THAT THIS IS ABOUT THE SIXTH TIME TODAY IV'E GOT UP FROM A WARM SEAT WITH A FEW SHEETS OF PAPER IN MY HAND!

NOW I KNOW THIS IS USUALLY THE BIT WHERE I TELL YOU ABOUT ALL THE EMBARRASING THINGS STEVE HAS DONE,BUT THE MORE I THOUGHT ABOUT IT THE MORE I REALISED HE SEEMS TO SPEND MOST OF HIS TIME FINDING NEW WAYS TO EMBARRASS ME.I'VE LOST COUNT OF THE NUMBER OF TIMES I'VE BEEN STOOD ON A CHAIR AT FULL STRETCH IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR BUSY WORKSHOP AND HE'S MANAGED TO SNEAK UP BEHIND ME AND PULL MY TROUSERS AND BOXER SHORTS DOWN IN ONE SWIFT ACTION AND LEAVE ME STANDING THERE WITH EVERYTHING HANGING OUT FOR ALL MY WORK MATES AND CUSTOMERS TO SEE.THEN THERES THE TIMES HE'S TAKEN US OUT AND GOT US SO DRUNK WE'VE ENDED COMING BACK AND SAYING AND DOING ALL SORTS OF THINGS I DAREN'T EVEN MENTION,BUT THEY USUALLY INVOLVED A BOTTLE OFJACK DANIELS AND A CERTAIN RED CHAIR,I'M SURE MR ANDREW KILBEY SAT OVER THERE WILL BE HAPPY TO GIVE YOU ANY FURTHER DETAILS!

GOING OUT FOR A QUIET DRINK WITH STEVE ALWAYS USED TO END UP WITH US CRAWLING HOME AT 3AM IN THE MORNING STRUGGLING TO REMEMBER WHERE WE LIVED,BUT SINCE HE'S MET KIRSTEN, FALLEN IN LOVE AND SETTLED DOWN ALL THAT HAS CHANGED. SHE COMES AND PICKS US UP NOW SO WE'RE HOME FOR ABOUT HALF TWO!

NOW I KNOW THERE'S A FEW THINGS STEVE WON'T WANT ME TO MENTION. LIKE THE FACT I'M SURE YOU'VE ALL NOTICED HE'S BEEN PUTTING ON A BIT OF WEIGHT RECENTLY HE'LL TELL YOU IT'S KIRSTENS GOOD COOKING BUT I'M PRETTY SURE IT'S MORE TO DO WITH HIS AGE.

I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO TELL YOU ABOUT STEVE'S NEW FOUND TALENT FOR GARDENING,IT'S AMAZING JUST HOW GREEN FINGERED STEVE REALLY IS CONSIDERING THE ONLY TYPE OF GREENERY I THOUGHT HE WAS INTERESTED IN WAS THE TYPE ON HIS PLATE.I DON'T KNOW IF ANYONE'S SEEN IT BUT STEVE'S BUILD A NICE NEW FISH POND IN HIS BACK GARDEN.KIRSTEN WAS TELLING ME THE OTHER DAY THAT SHE'S CONVINCED IT'S LEAKING,SO I HAD A WORD WITH STEVE AND HE TOLD ME IT WAS JUST THE WATER EVAPORATING, BUT HOW HALF A POND OF WATER CAN EVAPORATE OVERNIGHT IS BEYOND ME! I THINK IT'S TIME TO FACE FACTS MATE AND GET YOUR PUNCTURE REPAIR KIT OUT

AND FINALLY WE GET TO HIS GOLFING SKILLS I'VE SEEN HIM KICK HIS BAG,THROW HIS CLUBS,BEND HIS CLUBS AND USE SWEAR WORDS I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW EXISTED.PERSONALLY I THINK HE'D BE BETTER OFF TAKING UP THE JAVELIN AS HE CAN THROW HIS CLUBS ALOT FURTHER THAN HE CAN HIT A BALL. I'VE TOLD STEVE HIS PROBLEM WITH GOLF IN THAT HE STANDS TO CLOSE TO THE BALL USUALLY AFTER HE'S HIT IT!

TELEGRAMS
(including) AND FINALLY THIS LAST ONE'S JUST TO STEVE

DEAR STEVE, HAVE A LOVELY WEDDING DAY
HOPEFULLY WE WON'T SEE YOU SO MUCH NOW

FROM EVERY ONE AT THE CLINIC!

I'D LIKE TO FINISH BY SAYING
WHEN STEVE AND KIRSTEN GOT TOGETHER IT SOON BECAME OBVIOUS THEY HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL.MARRAIGE ISN'T ABOUT LIVING WITH SOMEONE IT'S ABOUT BEING WITH SOME ONE YOU CAN'T LIVE WITH OUT.SO TO BOTH OF YOU FROM ME I THINK YOU MAKE A WONDERFULL COUPLE AND I KNOW YOU'LL BE VERY HAPPY TOGETHER.

SO IF EVERYONE WOULD LIKE TO RAISE THEIR GLASSES AND JOIN ME IN A TOAST,

TO STEVE AND KIRSTEN

thanks for the great site it turned a good speech into a great one
nice one brother