Speech by Padraic DeBurca

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Padraic DeBurca
Speech Date: oct 2003
Before I start, the hotel has asked me to request that for health and safety reason nobody gets on the tables during the standing ovation at the end of my speech.

Hello, well my name is Padraic and as I suppose you've guessed I'm the best man. First of all, Niall, thanks for agreeing to be my groom today and thank you Liz for allowing Niall to agree!

Today is a very special day and the job of best man brings a unique feeling with it, a feeling that many of the Laois people felt last May in Croke Park – that of a once in a lifetime experience that in all probabilities will never be repeated!

One of the roles of best man was to ensure Niall got a good night sleep last night. So we had a couple of pints and Niall slept like a baby:- Waking up every half hour crying and asking for him mum!

On a more serious note I'd like to take this opportunity to thank the management and staff of the hotel. For the wonderful food and service they have given us here today.

A special word of thanks is also due to those who made the special effort by travelling from overseas to join Niall and Liz here today. To those who have come from England, Canada, Israel via Washington DC and from Australia.

I first met Niall during his postgrad years in the University of Limerick. His academic career to that date had been somewhat nomadic – having spent time in Carlow and Waterford RTC's. He then moved to UL as a second year Environmental Science student. The lads were telling me of the first time Niall walked into the class everyone was wondering who this new guy was. His distinctive looks gave the appearance that he had come from another land and I'm told that when he first opened his mouth his “thick accent” led everyone to believe he was a Russian Erasmus student.

Liz's birthday is the 5th of August, a birthday she shares with Neil Armstrong. And over the last few years she has her own huge leap for mankind – no not walk on the moon – but tame Niall.

Niall also share his birthday 2nd of April with a famous person – the fairytale writer Hans Christian Anderson.… So its only fitting that their courtship should culminate with a fairytale wedding here today!

Well enough about fairytales- time for a dose of reality TV – The Dunphy Show or otherwise known as the stagnight!- Well actually it was a whole weekend in Dingle that ended up with lunch in Paudi O'Seas pub in Ventry on the Sunday afternoon. Don't worry Liz we didn't behave like “feckin Animals” as Paudi would say! It was a nice quite weekend! Indeed the local fishermen are still speaking about our environmentally friendly approach to the fishing. With four of the twelve guys suffering from Sea sickness while out fishing; we were the only group ever to put more into the sea than we took out!

Point-to-point racing I believe is very popular in the Barry household. I'm sorry to disappoint you but Nialls career as a jockey was a short one. When he was about 18 helping out on the farm at home he was attempting to round up the pigs into their sty. One of the pigs made an attempt to escape through Nialls legs. Poor Niall was lifted into the air and carried backwards for about ten yards with only the pigs tale to hold onto.

On the farm as a kid Niall would also always me messing with the tractors trying to take off their tyres. Little did he know that many years later he would once again be trying to remove a tyre, that being the one around his waist so he could fit into his wedding suit.

Liz, I'm not sure if you know this but Niall is very proud of his hair. Yesterday, though, he went to the barbers and was charged €3 more than the guy next to him. When Niall asked him why, he said that he'd charged a search fee.

Thankfully Niall had a second chance to make a first impression! Otherwise none of us would be here today. You see two friends of Nialls; Dave Mac and Carol went down to Cork one weekend. They stayed with Fiona who was living with Liz and Mary at the time. As some stage the conversation turned to Niall who was due down the following night. After they had finished with all the stories- the ones I've had to censor… Liz said, “Oh my God! I'm not going to like this guy”. A week later they were going out together!

Last week I was doing a little research for the speech so I phoned Niall and asked him a couple of questions. Knowing that I was looking for dirt he was very guarded in his responses. What was your first impression of Liz? – Very positive : When did you first know that you'd marry Liz? – when she said yes! But I think he might have forgotten a night about six weeks ago when I came down to Cork to get fitted out for this suit. I hadn't really worried about having to write the speech up until that night. We were in a pub on Washington Street, with me doing my best to get him to go to a nightclub. It was after what he said I realised “Ops I better start writing the speech. Its for real.” He said “Padraic. You know how you know you've found the right girl. Its when you're in a pub like this and you've no interest in even looking at another girl.”

Mary reads Cards..…

Well Niall I was speaking to a married man a few weeks ago and he told me that for the first six months he was married he used to call his wife dear.… After that he called her expensive.

The same guy also told me that the best way for you to remember your anniversary is to forget it the first year!

To bring things to a conclusion, I'd like to thank you all for your attention. And let me just say that if you've enjoyed listening to this speech as much as I've enjoyed making it, then all I can do is offer my sincere apologies.

These just one last thing left for me to do and that's to ask you all to be upstanding to toast Niall and Liz.