Speech by Paul Green

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Paul Green
Speech Date: Sep2004
Ladies and Gentlemen…

You'll be pleased to hear that I'm only going to speak for a couple of minutes due of my throat………………Because if I insult Danny for too long he's threatened to cut it!

Firstly I'd like to thank Danny , on behalf of the Bridesmaids, for your kind words…and also my personal thanks for giving me the opportunity to dress like this…and for finally admitting after all these years that I am the best man!…

I didn't think I was going to be so nervous but believe me this is not the first time today that I've stood up from a warm seat with a bit of paper in my hand.

I think that Danny for all his macho talk has been feeling the same way too. After following him into the toilet this morning, I had to pull these out of the loo. (bricks)

Anyway a few words about the main man himself, and as I am the best man, in a time honoured tradition, I will now do my best to make this the most uncomfortable 5 minutes of Danny's life.For the record the most uncomfortable 5 minutes of Charlotte's life will be coming later on this evening, courtesy of Danny…

I first met Danny at school nearly 20 years ago, we weren't the brightest of the bunch , we didn't just fall behind we were getting lapped… and when someone asked me what I thought Danny would be when he left school, I said about 35…….…

As we went through our school years together he brightened himself up in mind and looks… he was the one that all the girls fancied…God he was so vain…

It's just as well he's not wearing an open neck shirt today, he's covered in love bites …all self inflicted of course…

I can see it now, every night he'll take Charlotte in his arms…hold her close… and tell her how wonderful he is !

When we left school he became a chef, and a good one at that. I remember the T-bone steaks he prepared at his house and the bottles of Brandy to wash it down with… all compliments of Mr Crossland of course.

That was the start of our drinking days and there were a few weren't they (Dan)

I remember the time he spilled his pint on the pub bench, I've never seen so many splinters in a tongue before…

He once went to give to give blood….Danny's was the only contribution with a head on it….…

I'm pleased to say he is a happy drinker….always laughing, chatting and shaking hands…even when he's on his own.

And in our late 20’s , all that good food and beer he consumed over the years had come to take it's toll…so he decided to get in shape….well round is a shape isn't it???

He's kept fit by playing football, and Dannys always been a footballer, which also he's very good at..

But when he started jogging I really had to take my hat off to him…because it's well hard while eating pizza…But look at him now, a fine figure of a man.

Actually, while wondering what to say this afternoon, I couldn't help thinking that it's funny how history repeats itself. I mean 29 years ago Charlottes family were sending her to bed with a dummy…and here they are again today…

As you will all agree doesn't Charlotte look stunning today (cheers), and Danny the decision you made in marrying Charlotte today is the wisest thing you have ever done…you've got someone who's beautiful, charming, smart, funny, loving and caring…and Charlotte you've got….you've got Danny.

Joking aside, As well as being my best mate Danny is a good man, he's hard working and I know his number1 priority, will be to love and support Charlotte and Ruben all his life.

And I'm sure that this day, and the day Ruben (Son) was born, is the happiest day of his life.

I'm coming to the end of my official duties as best man….., which on the one hand is a massive relief, but on the other hand is a real disappointment, I really don't think that I could ever feel quite as proud (apart from my wedding day) as I have done today, and feel so utterly terrified at the same time.

However, I thank both of you for allowing me to play a part in such a wonderful day.

Toast

To long life and happiness…

Your long life will be our happiness

Danny and Charlotte