Speech by Paul Noble

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Paul Noble
Speech Date: Mar 2004
Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen for those of you who don't know me my name is Paul,… I'm Chris's cousin and best man today although goodness knows why,.… I just think he wanted me to stand here and torture you all for the next three minutes or so.

According to the internet and my mountain of books I am now supposed to say how radiant the bride looks and how dashing the groom is,… well that's one thing the books were right about you both do look fantastic.

On behalf of the bridesmaids I'd like to thank Chris for his kind words and to repeat the obvious that you all look truly wonderful, and add.. that you've done really well to keep those dresses clean for this long…., only another 7 hours to go girls!.…

As for the ushers don't those boys look smart, keep up the good work and I'll try and sneak you a beer at the bar later tonight lads.Chris and Sarah, Daniel has driven us mad since you asked him to be your usher….., and last November he was lucky enough to visit New York where he thought it would be a good idea to buy your wedding present, so for the past twelve months he has guarded it with his life, now he finally gets to hand it over, so up you come Dan, while it's still in one piece mate.

Well done again to you all girls and boys and I think you deserve a round of applause from everyone.

I have to say it's been a wonderful wedding so far (UNTIL THIS SPEECH OF COURSE) The hotel is nice,

the food was great, the service went smoothly, and Chris..… Sarah did turn up.… Told you she would.

The flowers look wonderful and Chris's mum (my auntie Ev) deserves all the credit for them, althought I didn't know these kind of flowers could grow in back gardens in Middleton,….… Well done,Thanks Evie.

All weddings are a good excuse for a celebration that's the reason why were all here today. Another reason “for me that is “ is that I didn't have to pay for a taxi to get here because the rolls royce has come with the job …….and Chris has promised me free beers all night..… Cheers pal!

Chris was 4 years old when I first met him I can remember it well he was sitting on the floor in his birthday suit playing games, come to think of it he doesn't wear much more now the only difference is his games are better as his playstation is tuned into his mega size telly. Sorry Sarah, no coronation street for you anymore.

Chris was born in 1979 the year sony created the walkman ..for those of you who have been in Chris's car can you imagine it with a walkman in,…… he'd think he'd gone deaf and the neighbours would think he'd sold his musical car.