Speech by Paul Smith

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Paul Smith
Speech Date: oct 2003
For those of you who don't know me, my name is Paul.
I'm a complete novice at public speaking. And I have
this overwhelming urge to prove it to you all today!!

On behalf of the bride and groom, I would like to
thank everyone for coming and to help celebrate their
special day. Personally, I wish you'd all stayed at
home ……… and made my day less nerve racking!

BABS – it goes without saying that you look absolutely
fantastic today…….

(APPLAUSE)

AND for me personally, it's a relief to see that
you're not sporting that off-the-shoulder number, that
you modelled for us all in Rhodes, as your wedding
dress today.… for those of you who don't know what I
mean, let's
just say we had an uninvited breast..er…I mean guest
for lunch one afternoon.

(PAUSE)

I would also like to mention how beautiful the
bridesmaids Zoey, Kate, Emma and of course little
Molly are looking. I'm sure you will all agree they
have done BABS and FRANK proud today.

(APPLAUSE)

You'll be pleased to hear that I'm actually only going
to speak for a few minutes, because of my throat!..

If I go on too long, my girlfriend said she would cut
it!

(PAUSE)

There are 3 reasons why I am here today…

1. To have a good time.
2. Because I didn't have to pay to come in.
3. To help celebrate the marriage of these 2 top
people. (REACTION)

When FRANK first approached me to be his best man , I
thought, Hello whos let him down then?. He finally
convinced me otherwise when he told me that the duties
of the best man were relatively simple, to help him
get to the service on timewhich was easy. To make
sure hes dressed smartly.which was challenging –
(LOOK AT FRANK AND SAY) its just a pity that you had
to copy my outfit though , AND to make sure he turns
up sober. which was the toughest challenge of all.

I think you will agree that I have managed to achieve
all three today. (REACTION?)

FRANK and I have been mates now for about 17 years, so
I'd say I know him pretty well, and I think it would
be fair to say that there are three big loves in
FRANK's life, these are.…
– FOOTBALL
– BEER
and of now of course BABS! Forgive me if I have these
in the wrong order….It might actually be BEER first
then FOOTBALL then BABS.

(PAUSE)

Only joking BABS……It's definitely FOOTBALL first
then BEER then YOU!!

(REACTION and MAYBE PAUSE)

Through the years I have shared many a fond memory
with FRANK and my earliest memories of being friends
with him stem back to school days.

Even back then, FRANK was always a big lad, he had a
certain presence in the School playground, not
necessarily because people thought he wasn't to be
messed with, but more because the sunlight reflected
off his, bright blonde, bouffant hairstyle, giving a
blinding effect!

(REACTION)

At school, FRANK was always up for a laugh, slightly
accident prone and to this day has always got a graze
on his knees.

But it's nice to see that as FRANK has got older he
has learnt to tame his wild ways and his bouffant.

(PAUSE)

One of the earlier memories was when I went with FRANK
to stand in the North Bank at Arsenal for the first
time. As we were only 13 years old, and small we
stood right at the back of the stand watching the
game, so that we wouldn't get squashedwho was I
kidding!?

Throughout the first half of the game FRANK persisted
in either throwing me or himself into the crowd,
causing surges to ripple down the stands. We had a
couple of warnings from the Police behind us, but hey,
we were only kids, we weren't hurting anybody. So
just after what was to be our last warning, FRANK
decided he would sling his future best man one last
time into the crowd.

Before I knew was happening, I was being dragged out
by 2 policeman, by the scruff of the neck. And thrown
into the kerb outside Highbury.

Did FRANK leave the game early and support me in my
hour of need? No chance. And leave an Arsenal game
early? You must be joking.

Another fond, and more recent memory that FRANK must
have, is when he sent me plummeting off a cliff
earlier this year, while we were on a snowboarding
holiday, whilst reasurring me everything would be OK.
It then only took me half an hour to dig myself out
of chest high snow.

FRANKs contribution in helping me get out of my
dilemma this time, was to laugh hysterically and
continuously shout..GET UP YOU POOF!!!

(REACTION)

But heywhat are friends for.

So here I am today .. and I am really very honoured
and proud to be his best man – he's a top bloke, and a
really good mate, and in BABS, I believe, he has met
his perfect partner. And I know they will be very
happy together.

I'd like to finish the speech today with a toast, so
if you would all be upstanding and charge your
glasses…the toast is to BABS, as she hasnt spoken
for the last 7 minutes and thats gotta be a first

(APPLAUSE)

Now seriously, could you please charges your glasses
the toast is bride and groom, BABS and FRANK Butcher.