Speech by Paula Noble

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Paula Noble
Speech Date: mar 2004
Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen for those of you who don't know me my name is Paul,… I'm Chris's cousin and best man today although goodness knows why,.… I just think he wanted me to stand here and torture you all for the next three minutes or so.

According to the internet and my mountain of books I am now supposed to say how radiant the bride looks and how dashing the groom is,… well that's one thing the books were right about you both do look fantastic.

On behalf of the bridesmaids I'd like to thank Chris for his kind words and to repeat the obvious that you all look truly wonderful, and add.. that you've done really well to keep those dresses clean for this long…., only another 7 hours to go girls!.…

As for the ushers don't those boys look smart, keep up the good work and I'll try and sneak you a beer at the bar later tonight lads.Chris and Sarah, Daniel has driven us mad since you asked him to be your usher….., and last November he was lucky enough to visit New York where he thought it would be a good idea to buy your wedding present, so for the past twelve months he has guarded it with his life, now he finally gets to hand it over, so up you come Dan, while it's still in one piece mate.

Well done again to you all girls and boys and I think you deserve a round of applause from everyone.

I have to say it's been a wonderful wedding so far (UNTIL THIS SPEECH OF COURSE) The hotel is nice,

the food was great, the service went smoothly, and Chris..… Sarah did turn up.… Told you she would.
The flowers look wonderful and Chris's mum (my auntie Ev) deserves all the credit for them, althought I didn't know these kind of flowers could grow in back gardens in Middleton,….… Well done,Thanks Evie.

All weddings are a good excuse for a celebration that's the reason why were all here today. Another reason “for me that is “ is that I didn't have to pay for a taxi to get here because the rolls royce has come with the job …….and Chris has promised me free beers all night..… Cheers pal!

Chris was 4 years old when I first met him I can remember it well he was sitting on the floor in his birthday suit playing games, come to think of it he doesn't wear much more now the only difference is his games are better as his playstation is tuned into his mega size telly. Sorry Sarah, no coronation street for you anymore.

Chris was born in 1979 the year sony created the walkman ..for those of you who have been in Chris's car can you imagine it with a walkman in,…… he'd think he'd gone deaf and the neighbours would think he'd sold his musical car.

What can I say about Sarah? And I better watch out here….She was born in 1977 the year of the Queens silver Jubilee, everyone was partying,… she introduced our family to the spice girls, and for a while the younger members thought they had their own real life Barbie. Sarah's motto seems to be the more glitter the better!

I could go on about Chris and Sarah all day but I promised Chris I ‘d keep it short and sweet, plus I'm getting sick of my own voice.… so, I'll move on and thank everyone for coming to celebrate Chris and Sarah's special day, especially family and friends who have travelled long distances to be here.

I now have a few cards to read out from people who couldn't be with us today.

I'd now like to finish with a toast to some people without whom today and tonight just wouldn't be the same,…..ladies and gentlemen… the bar staff !

Joking aside, Chris and Sarah it's a great honour to be have been your best man today… and I would like to say congratulations and wish you every happiness in your married life together, and although it's been said before, it now gives me great pleasure to invite everyone to stand once more,….… and raise your glasses to wish them all the best,……… ladies and gentlemen… Chris and Sarah Woods.

This speech is from Paul Noble 14th November 2003