Speech by R Dolce

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: R Dolce
Speech Date: Nov 2001
For those of you who do not know me my name is Robert and I am obviously Paresh's best man, when Paresh asked me to be his best man I was obviously honored and excited and I truly believe that the other 38 friends that he asked before me really did have other commitments on this day and were unable to do it.

Now I have known Paresh for over fifteen years and we first met in the dizzy heights of gateway foodstores, now over this period I have come to know Paresh very well and have numerous stories about him, buy I have promised him that I will keep this speech clean and to the point, I will obviously not mention the time he set his car on fire, or the time I asked him to look after our house while we went on holiday, where upon our return we entered the house to what I believed was a burglary, I was just about to call the police when Paresh turned up and sheepishly explained that was the way he left it all.

Now when Paresh told me he was going to ask Marie to marry him I was obviously happy and excited, but in a way also disappointed because after knowing him for 15 years I would at least have thought I would have been his first choice in marriage!

When we worked at Gateways we would often speak about what profession we would go into, I always said I would like to go into the Police Force and this I have done but Paresh was always unsure, at first I thought he would go into the world of medicine, I came to this conclusion after being in his bedroom and finding 38 half empty coffee cups strew around the room, most of which had more penicllin in them than most hospitals have!

I then thought he would go into farming, again after visting his flat I found he had the largest collection of dust mites I had ever seen!

When Paresh asked me to be his best man I really had no idea what was expected of me, so I searched the internet to find out what a best mans role should be, and all I can say is that I am very glad that Paresh and Marie were not getting married in the 18 hundreds.

Life in those days was very different, when the future groom decided he wanted to get married he would approach the best man and state his intentions, they both would then walk to the nearest village where they would hide in the bushes and observe the woman, when the groom saw one he liked he would point her out to the best man and then leave and go back to his village, it was then the best mans job to run into the village, grab the woman by her hair and drag her kicking and screaming back to their village, whilst doing so he had to fight off the local villagers and the woman's father and deliver her back to the groom, they would then of course get married and live happily ever after.

Now after reading this I had a terrible dream, I had a dream that I had to run into the village of Great Eastern and grab Marie by her hair and drag her back to Sutton and at the same time fight off Maries brother and father and the local villagers, but by some miracle Paresh has managed to find Marie all on his own and I know that she is the perfect choice for him.

Before I finish I would like to offer Paresh and Marie three points of advice that keeps my marriage strong.

1. Never got o bed angry, stay up and fight.

2. Paresh, always answer and questions Marie asks you with "Of course you are right dear".

3. The easiest way to remember your wedding anniversary is to forget it just once.

I know that Marie and Paresh will be very happy together and during the time I have known Paresh he has been a very good friend to me, nothing is ever to much trouble for him no matter how busy he is and I am very proud that they asked me to be best man today.

Can everyone be upstanding and raise there glasses to Paresh and Marie for "Future Happiness"