Speech by Rich Whitehead

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Rich Whitehead
Speech Date: Sep 1999
Good evening. I'd like to welcome you to Club Heidelberg and thank you for helping us celebrate Paul and Ronda's wedding day.

My name is Rich ..…
You may already know that I'm Paul's brother in law.
It was a few months ago that Paul asked me to be his best man. I'm not sure what that says about his decision-making skills. But it's been a pleasure to play this role today. It's been a good day
so far. Everything has gone fairly smoothly too. I think you'll agree that my primary goal of getting Paul dressed and to the church on time was a complete success. I know that may sound like I'm congratulating myself but if you know Paul you can appreciate how difficult it is to get him anywhere on time..

For those people in our family who may be worried about what I might say while I'm up here you can relax. I'm only going to speak for a couple of minutes due to my throat; .if I go on too long my wife Lynn has threatened to cut it.

As a matter of fact it's because of Lynn that you have to listen to me this evening. Lynn and I met about 17 years ago while both our families were on vacation. My family is from Toronto so for the five years we dated I spent pretty much every weekend with her family here in St Catharines. That's how Paul and I got to know each other.
I really find it an honour to be his best man today because Paul happens to be one of the best men that I know. He really is a quality individual.

Because I've known him for as long as I have it seems to me that we're really more like brothers than we are brothers-in-law. Paul's father, Bill certainly treats me like his own son. As a matter of fact I think he listed me as a dependent on his 1987 tax return.

I think Bill was probably trying to recoup some of the money he'd spent feeding/housing me while Lynn and I were dating.

For the benefit of Ronda's family I thought I'd give you a little background information on Paul tonight. As I mentioned, Paul and I met only 17 years ago so I didn't go to school with Paul. I admit that I don't know too much about him as a student or teenager. However, Paul was willing to provide me with ****** his version of the events regarding his education which I will relate to you now.

***Pull out and hold up "Paul's version of events"

Paul was an exceptionally gifted and very popular student. He excelled in everything he did, whether it be sports, academics or the arts. Paul met with success daily as a student and it was with great sorrow that Paul's teachers witnessed his graduation in 1985..

I guess I should have proofread this a bit..

Seriously though, Paul is very much a student of life. He tends to research things to ensure he's making the right decision. You'll never see him make a quick decision regarding something that he feels is important and in the end his decisions are always made with confidence. He always seems to know when he's found exactly what he's looking for.
For the past week or so I've called Paul numerous times to see how he was holding up in the days before the wedding. He was very calm, said everything was going smoothly.. "Like water off a duck's back" to quote him. I'd like to think I was that cool in the weeks proceeding my wedding but I doubt it. Last week Paul and I were in my car returning from playing some pool and I asked him what finally made him decide it was time to get married. He just said, "It's time." It was exactly the response I expected to hear from.

Ronda has had a major impact in Paul's life. During the course of their courtship she has single-handedly effected numerous modifications in his behaviour and personality. In many ways he is a very different person
than he was before their first date. Paul, I came across a short article in the newspaper recently and I want
you to listen to it now because I really believe it'll help you focus on being just the kind of husband that Ronda deserves and wants you to be. Actually I think every marriage represented in this room could benefit.
Anyway I'll just get on with it.

First a little background to the story. A couple is celebrating their
Golden wedding anniversary. Their model marriage had long been the talk
of the town so a local newspaper reporter was interviewing the husband
to find out the secret of their long and happy marriage. The man
responded like this…
"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon, explained the husband.
We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the
canyon by pack mule.
We hadn't gone too far when my wife's mule stumbled.
My wife looked at the mule square in the eyes and quietly said `That's once.`
We continued down into the canyon a little further when the mule stumbled again.
Once more my wife looked at the mule square in the eyes and this time she quietly said, `That's twice.`
Again we continued down into the canyon. We'd gone less than half a mile
when the mule stumbled a third time.
This time my wife got off the mule
Took a revolver from her purse and shot the mule dead.
When I started to protest her treatment of the mule she looked at me
square in the eye and quietly said, `That's once.`

That reminds me a little of my honeymoon. Lynn and I were married nine years now and today more than ever I really
believe that marriage is a wonderful thing. There's so much you can learn. Especially as a man. For instance.
Marriage will teach Paul loyalty, self-discipline, It will also develop in him a sense of fair play and many other
qualities he wouldn't need if he'd stayed single. But the single days are now officially over for you both. It's nice to
reminisce sometimes but you needn't look back to see your best years. They are most definitely the years ahead which you will spend together.

Paul you are a very fortunate man to have met a person like Ronda and even more fortunate to have convinced her to marry you. And Ronda, it is indeed a pleasure to welcome you to our family today.

At this time I'd like to invite everyone to stand and raise your glasses in a toast Paul and Ronda.
To the Bride and Groom's Future Happiness.