Speech by Robert Coe

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Robert Coe
Speech Date: sep 2003
Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen,

I hope everyone's having as good a time as I was up until about 30 seconds ago!
For those of you who don't know me, my name is Rob and I've been given the honor of being Rob's best-man. I must say he's scrubbed up pretty well today, although I'm still none too pleased about him copying my outfit! (fix tie)

When Rob asked me to be his best man I admit I panicked and thought of a thousand ways to say “No Politely” and in my haste to pick out the best excuse I just blurted out “Of course I'll do it mate, it'll be an honor. Although I have to say I'm glad I did as it gives me a chance to GET MY OWN BACK..,I mean.. say a few words about Rob.

But first off. I'd like to start by thanking Rob on behalf of the bridesmaids for his kind words. I have to say the bridesmaids look absolutely wonderful and have done a great job.

I would also like to thank you all for being here today to share in this very special occasion. I think you'd all agree, it was a great service. Interesting vows though, you can definitely tell them wrote them themselves, Rob said “I do”, and I swear I heard Christine say “You'd better”!

Now, as best man one of my main duties was to organize the stag-do which some of you will know took place 2 weeks ago in Dublin. It was a lovely “hotel” we stayed in if a tad cramped. I think when we rented our towels at the front desk we all realized a mini-bar was a distant fantasy.

As for the “do” itself…I'm afraid “The law of the stag” forbids me to reveal much about it (although will be on sale at the back to the highest bidder!!…but a few choice highlights do include:

1 Zorro outfit
Communal bathrooms
Live fire arms
And a large quality of Sambuca!

..not all at the same time I haste to add!

PAUSE

Rob and I have been friends now for over 25years. We first met at Primary school aged 5. I think it was around that time Rob's football team Crystal Palace last won something!

We also went to the same Secondary school, St Dunstans College which, for our sins, was an all boys school. That didn't effect us though …did it darling? (Gay voice..look at Rob)

In our sixth form years Rob & I both passed our driving tests which opened up a whole new world and we celebrated our licenses by driving up to Scotland. Not taking Rob's father's advice of “stopping off” half-way we proceeded in trying to set a new land-speed record…not an easy feat in a 1.1 litre Citroen AX! In fact I think our first prang was at the approach to the blackwall tunnel!

After St Dunstans we went our separate ways on the road of further education… Rob went to Rippon & York College which he delighted in tell me had the highest ratio of women to men of any campus in the U.K. The odds were stacked nicely in his favour.

It was there in York that Rob met Christine and the fairytale began. However soon afterwards Rob was part of an all boys away week to Spain and I was impressed Rob was playing it so cool. That was until I found him making 5 calls a day back home to check his honey bunchkin wasn't missing Robby Dobby too much!
(sorry rob ..that's the way I remember it! ..+ it's funner)

After York Rob got his MSC from Leeds and the study books were closed. Rob would start reaping the benefits of years reading up on environmental science. Would it be “Save the Rainforest”? Perhaps a stint in South America or a adventure with Greenpeace ? Not exactly … Rob first work experience out in the field ? Binman for a local waste company he represented! Good one mate!

Seriously though, getting back to Rob & Christine… Rob you're a lucky man today… Christine is a wonderful woman and she looks absolutely gorgeous.
She did tell me earlier how impressed she was with your choice of outfit for today.. she wasn't sure about the trousers though ..PAUSE…apparently she'll be wearing them from now on!

TELEGRAMS??

Christine… We could have been so good together call me if he ever goes off the boil- George Clooney
Rob ……….I'll be thinking of you always
Julian Clarey

Rob, it's been a priviledge and an honour to be your best man today and I take this opportunity of wishing you both all the happiness in the world.

So ladies and gentlemen I would ask you to charge your glasses and please be upstanding to toast the bride and groom.