Speech by Robert Watson

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Robert Watson
Speech Date: 05/06/2011 23:16:25

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, I hope everyone is enjoying this very special day so far. It's been an emotional day and even the cake is in tiers.

I think you will all agree Kayrine looks one in a million today …as opposed to Neil who looks like he was won in a raffle.  And I would like to thank the bridesmaids Pedra and Michelle which a think everyone would agree they look stunning, and kayrine who looks absolutely stunning !!!

For those that don't know me, my name is Rab would you like a drink!!!!!I And if you get the chance to speak to me later I would like you to use my full name.  And yes, it was I who drew the short straw…….and was given the great honour of being the Best Man here today…..and he's told me if I do a good job I can do it at his next wedding too.

So after he asked me I said god I will have to do a speech so I scanned the internet and found some great sites but they were nothing to do with best man speeches!!!  So I have been rehearsing this speech for weeks in front of a few audiences and just last week I was at the local old folks home and they loved it.

Seriously, I was both delighted, and honoured to be chosen, though I must confess to being a little nervous as I stand before you, as public speaking has never been my thing. This is the sixth time today that I've got up from a warm seat with a few sheets of paper in my hand … Rest assured though, unlike most traditional best man speeches, which are full of sexual innuendo, I've promised Neil and Kayrine that if there is anything slightly risqué, I'll whip it out immediately.

Well I can honestly say how lucky you are Neil and you will leave here today gained a wife that is warm loving caring and who both funny and beautiful … And Kayrine you are leaving here today gained a gorgeous dress and a crackin’ bunch of flowers ..… . And I was thinking to maself today its funny how history repeats itself like 29 odd years ago Kayrine's mum was putting her to bed with a small dummy and its happening all over again.

The only problem we had was the seating plan because they didn't no where everyone should sit so we decided to link it to the wedding present list. . We decided to put those who bought the biggest items nearest the front and work back from there so on behalf of Kayrine and Neil I would like to thank Dod and Kim for the oven glove!!!!

When Neil was at school he wasn't the sharpest pencil in the box …once he was asked who wrote the book of Genesis and he answered was that no Phil Collins? And as you will no Neil is a no bad golfer but no mater what he tells you he actually should be throwing the javelin cos he can throw his clubs further……And his problem with his game that he stands to close to the ball mostly after he's just hit it!!

Only last week I asked them both what they wanted out of marriage and Neil said he wanted a long lasting loving relationship and Kayrine said she wanted…a toaster and a microwave !

Seriously though Neil you have been a friend to me over the years and it has been an honour and a privilege being your best man today and you have also given me another friend in Kayrine and I hope our friendship lasts for many years to come. I also want to wish you both all the happiness in the world for your future together.

And as I come to the end of my speech it is tradition to give some advice to the newly weds and I shall pass on the two things my dear old mum said to me.

“Never go to bed on an argument…….always stay up and argue!  The best way to forget your anniversary is to forget it once.”

Now I would like to read some texts from friends that couldn't make it.  Neil ..miss the days of you and me lazing at the pool ..yours truly Michael Barrymore x

All the best Neil look after her and never let her out of your sight Joseph Fritsel

Also there's been change to the honeymoon Neil told me today he's goin’ to WALES. He told me he's going to BANGOR for a week

On behalf of the entire wedding party I would like to thank you allfor coming to share in this wonderful occasion.. . Also a very special thanks To all the parents,  Without you this could never have happened. Finally a toast to the bride and groom.

Please will everyone raise their glasses – HERES TO LOVE, LAUGHTER,AND HAPPILY EVER AFTER, AS NEIL AND KAYRINE START THEIR NEW LIFE, PLEASE STAND AND TOAST THE NEW HUSBAND AND WIFE LADIES AND GENTLEMEN I GIVE YOU MR AND MRS NEIL MASSON