Speech by Roberto DeSousa

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Roberto DeSousa
Speech Date: 01/08/2011 18:58:09

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen boys and girls, Boa tarde senhores e senhoras,  Guter Nachmittag die Damen und Herren . I hope you are all having a good time, on this very special day. It has been a very emotional day, ……..as some of you must have noticed that even the cake is in tiers.

Before we go any further, I'd like to thank father Oliver for what was a truly lovely and divine service…..

I would also like to thank the matron of honour Monica, who looks stunning and has carried out her role superbly. I would also like to thank the flowers girls Annelise, Cherie and the page boys Alric and Carson for doing a marvellous job. Now you can sit back and relax.

Lets give them a round of applause.

Godfrey and Katja have both put a tremendous amount of effort into the planning of this wedding, and I can only hope that, apart from this speech, everything else would have exceeded their expectations

I am sure you all agree with me when I say that  Katja looks like one in a million today, don't you?

Godfrey on the other hand, just looks stunned

For those who don't know me, I am Roberto  and for those that know me I am  Jeffrey and I am Godfrey's cousin.

Foolishly, Godfrey gave me this great honour of being his best man. Let me first say how privileged and elated I am to stand before you and say  few words on this very special day. I can ensure you that it will be as short as possible as we are all hungry! 

2)MESSAGES

I would now like to read some messages from those who could not make it to this wedding.

A text

1)To Katja I'm Sorry I could not marry you myself so I got one of my friend to do it, best wishes on your special Day your Holiness Pope Benedict XV1

The next one is from Portugal, one of the PIGS

2) Dear Godfrey and Katja, Have a wonderful Day. Unfortunately we can not be present as we are still awaiting the bailout from Germany, which Angela Merkle and Sarkosi generously offered unlike the British.

Lots of Love, Uncle Joe, Aunty Leon and cousin Sharon

3) Last but not least is from germany  and in German

Viel gutes wunsche in besten

onkle Ludwig 

3) Being Best man

It is traditional in Britain  that the bestman makes a speech that is witty and pokes a certain amount of fun at the groom,  as you must have already noticed. And there is still  more to come.

Like most of you,  I wondered what was the role of the Bestman. Well, it is believed that the role of the best man originated in the Germanic Goths, East Germany. Traditionally man were only supposed to marry a woman who lived in the same town or village. A lot of times there were not enough woman, so the man would go to another village to look to a girl. History repeats itself , Godfrey went all the way to Germany . Once the man found someone he liked, he would kidnap the girl with the help of his intimate friend or bestman.

And then they would have the ceremony. The best man had to protect the couple from the brides family and make sure that they did not interrupt   the ceremony. So, he would stand on the right side of the groom with his hand on the sword. ?  Today the bestman stands with his hands on the rings. I can call myself lucky because I don't have to fight the Brodt family and I wouldn't want to . All I have  to do now is to ensure that godfrey arrives at his wedding – on time, sober, and looking good, well I have achieved 2 out of 3, that not bad at all. Next time it will be 3 out of 3.

I feel the title of Bestman is too generous. The way I see it, if I am the Bestman, why is Katja marrying the second best ? On that account it would be fair for me to downgrade to better man, and Godfrey you are the bestman tonight.

Before we go any further,  Katja would you place your right hand on the table, Godfrey would you place your left on top of Katja's. Does that feel nice? All will be revealed in good time.

Godfrey and Katja have been together for a few years now and seem to have found their soul mates in each other.

In life, it is difficult to imagine Romeo without Juliet , X factor without Simon Cowell, Ant without Dec,  Tom without Jerry, Hensel without Gretal and of course Godfrey without Katja.

I do have to say godfrey how lucky you are 

You will leave here having gained a wife who is warm, loving and caring. A wife who is intellegent, and who radiates calmness and beauty where ever she goes. [pause] face Katja And Katja[pause] how lucky you are as well [pause] you leave today having gained a .[pause] Gorgeous dress and a lovely bouquet of flowers. [pause]

Jokes to a side, Godfrey was born on the 22^nd September 1974, the year

Bar code was used for the first time on a packet of chewing gum in America

A litre of patrol was 10p, but ever since Godfrey started working for BP, the price as shot up to 140p all due to his huge bonuses.

ABBA won the Eurovision, with Waterloo

Arsenal finished 16^th out of 22 in the football league

Our German friends will be pleased to know that the World Cup was held in West Germany and West Germany beat Holland by 2 -1.

Godfrey  grew up in Goa where he went to School and College and qualified as an Accountant. He then qualified as a Chartered Accountant in London. At school he was idle and not very academic but performed better in sports. That's where his competative streak emerged and he is renowned for refusing to lose. He will do anything to win. I mean anything,

One instance, we were playing monopoly on Christmas day. He kept winning and winning. And we said that this can't be possible, then found out that when he was supposed to collect £50 reward from the bank, he was collecting £500.

Godfrey came from humble beginnings, and has quickly risen to the top of his profession solely based on intelligence, willpower, determination and above all hard work.

I would sum up Godfrey as quiet, calm, caring, thoughtful, charming and some of you would say handsome.

4) Marital Advice

Now is the time for some marital advise. I  am not sure I am the best person to dish out advice! But I do have the following words of wisdom.

Firstly, set the ground rules and establish who is the boss: Then do everything she says.

Never go to bed on an argument….Always stay up and argue. The best way to remember your anniversary is to forget it once.

It is important to get on with your mother in law. A friend of mine hasn't spoken to his mother in law for two years. Not because he doesn't like her… he just doesn't like to interrupt her.

And finally, always remember to tell your wife those important little words [pause] ‘You're right dear‘ or in german ‘Sie haben Rechtliebsten’

Now in case any of you are wondering why I asked Godfrey to place his hand on Katja's. I will tell you now, Godfrey as my final role as your best man, it is with great pleasure that I have been able to give you the last 5 minutes in which you have had the upper hand.

5) Build up to the Toast

On a more serious note, Godfrey, we have had some excellent times together over the years, and I know that we will continue to do so in the future. You have been a great  friend to me over the years, and it is a great honour to be your best man, and I wish you both every happiness for the future.

May your love be modern enough to service the times

and old fashioned enough to last  forever.

May you live as long as you like and love as long as you live

It now gives me immense pleasure, not to mention relief to raise my glass in a personal  toast to the New Mr & Mrs De Sousa.

HERES TO LOVE, LAUGHTER, AND HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

Zu Herr und Frau Desousa