Speech by Roger Oconnor-Boyd

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Roger Oconnor-Boyd
Speech Date: Sep 2000
Thank you for those kind words Dave.
Good evening everybody, I'm sure you'll all admit that this has turned out to be a brilliant wedding celebration thus far. Unfortunately every silver-lining does have a cloud, and that is that you've all got to listen to me for the next short while.

Firstly, on behalf of the Bridesmaids, I'd like to thank Dave for his kind words. I have to agree that they look absolutely wonderful, and have done an excellent job this afternoon in getting Sally ready and to the church on time.

I'd also particularly like to thank the Bride's parents for organising such a wonderful day.

Now to the point where I completely slander Dave's character, which is traditional on such occasions.

I must admit though to being a little nervous. In fact, this certainly isn't the first time today that I have stood up from a warm seat with a piece of paper in my hand.

I didn't know Dave while he was at school. All I know of that time of his life is what he has told me. From what I can gather, he was academically brilliant, an outstanding sportsman and loved by teachers and pupils alike, but that's not what his friends have told me! They have said that he was, at best, an average student. He didn't have much success with the girls and was never picked for sports teams.

Well – when it came to being picked as a potential husband, Dave couldn't have been luckier. Sally is a fantastic person and, as I'm sure you will all agree, looks stunning today. I have a great deal of respect and admiration for Sally. She is a nurse and has to deal with incontinence and impotence on a daily basis. And that's just with Dave.

It was at university in Southampton that I first met Dave. This is also where the happy couple met. I remember, in our first year, convincing them that doing a parachute jump was a good idea. They did their training together, jumping out of mock-up planes and hanging from the ceiling in very uncomfortable harnesses. But when it came time to jump, the weather wasn't on their side and the jump had to be postponed.

The next weekend the weather was glorious and Sally went home to see her parents. Dave on the other hand went and did his first parachute jump. Never to be outdone, Sally jumped into her car and rushed down to Southampton. She too did her first jump that weekend. Although they both thoroughly enjoyed the experience, I think that Sally was a little upset that Dave's first time wasn't with her.

In preparing for today I read a book which had a chapter entitled ‘The Best Man's Checklist’. I must confess I was mystified by a few of the things I was expected to do:

1."Make sure that the groom is dressed appropriately"
Dave certainly isn't renowned for his dress sense. For example, on the stag weekend we had an afternoon of playing at being soldiers. Running around woods, hiding in bushes and shooting at each other. While most of us made the effort to dress for the occasion – Dave didn't.

For those of you that haven't heard this story – Dave's choice of camouflaged clothing was a pink dress.

I'm not even going to mention the evening. Suffice to say that brown corduroy flares went out of fashion a long time ago.

2. "Ensure that the groom uses the toilet”
(I made sure he went in there, but after that it was up to him);

3. "See that angry ex-girlfriends are kept at bay"
I couldn't actually find any angry ones. Most of them seemed rather relieved.

4. "Bring a bag with the following items for emergencies:
Aspirin, antacid, deodorant, toothpaste, viagra. Oh, sorry Dave I wasn't going to mention that.

5. "Make a speech to the bride and groom."
I think that I was a little naive in thinking that this would be JUST to the bride and groom. I had envisaged a short talk over a nice cup of tea. I hadn't realised that they would be 150 other people here. Still, we're almost there.…

Everybody here knows Dave in a different way. Some of you know him as a loving relative, others as a caring physio. I know Dave as a great friend.

Dave, it is a great honour to be your best man.

During my time at university I was privileged to have shared houses with both Dave and Sally. All I can say is that they deserve each other. I can only hope to be as happy as I know that they will be together.

On behalf of the bride and groom, I'd like to thank everyone here for sharing their day, particularly those who have travelled long distances. On behalf of myself, if you had all stayed at home then things would have been much easier on me.

I started planning this speech 12 months ago, and it feels like I've been delivering it equally as long. But now it gives me great pleasure (not to mention relief) to invite you all to stand and raise your glasses in a toast for Dave and Sally.

We wish them well for the future, and hope they enjoy a long, happy, and fruitful marriage.
The Bride and Groom…