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Speech by Ryan Morrison

Short and sweet, went down very well mostly thanks to this site! Cheers

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Ryan Morrison
Speech Date: 06/07/2015 16:07:24

Hello everyone, in case you hadn't guessed, I'm Shanes younger brother Ryan. Or the upgrade, if you will.

The brief that Shane gave me for this speech was ‘be amusing and dazzle them with your wit’. The trouble is, I'm not that funny so the best I can do is dazzle you with the light that reflects off my head.

The great advantage of being bald on a day like today is that, when the photographer calls for a wedding shot, all I have to do is straighten my tie.

I was a bit nervous about making this speech today but I felt better after rehearsing it down at the old people's home. I think it went down ok; well they all pissed themselves anyway!

I'm sure you all agree that Lisa looks absolutely stunning – and Shane, just looks stunned. It doesn't surprise me that Shane and Lisa are having their reception in a marquee as they have always enjoyed an in­tents relationship.

My main responsibilities for today were: To ensure that Shane arrived on time, sober, and looking good Well 2 out of 3 isn't bad. After all I'm best man, not a plastic surgeon! My Brother was born on the 20th of June 1973 which was a Wednesday, leaving him full of woe. Shortly after his birth Shane was unfortunately diagnosed with the serious disease rutilae comeai or more commonly known as Gingervitis. Symptoms of this terrible affliction included red hair, pale skin, and freckles and in 30% of cases the patients’ arms never grow long enough to reach the bottoms of their pockets.

I'm not saying that Shane is tight but he dropped a pound coin in the pub last night and when he bent down to pick it up it landed on the back of his neck. I'm so glad the catering was organised by Lisa's family today as I know Shane probably would have arranged a sale or return deal with Iceland.

On a more serious note though Shane has always been there when I've needed him. Of course we have had our fallouts as all brothers do, usually his fault. We always make friends in the end though and I really don't know what any of us would do without him. I'm sure our Dad would have been extremely proud of him today.

I read somewhere that a best man speech shouldn't take any longer than it takes the groom to make love.

And so, without further ado, let me ask those of you who still can to stand up and join me in a toast………….To Shane and Lisa……May all their dreams come true.