Speech by Scott Jones

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Scott Jones
Speech Date: 29/10/2015 19:20:56

Best Man Speech:

Introduction

Thank you Norman and Nick for your excellent speeches or as some would see them, my warm up act.

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen sit back, relax and make yourself comfortable as I intend to speak for roughly an hour…

For those of you that don't know me I'm Scott, one of Nick's close friends and today I have the honour and pleasure of being his best man.

Can I start by thanking everybody here today, coming together to share in what has been a truly special occasion, witnessing Nick and Simelia becoming Mr and Mrs Taylor.

I would also like to thank Keaza on her wonderful reading and the chuckle brothers also known as Dan and Lee on not making too much of a mess of directing people to their seats before the ceremony, well done boys.

I think everybody sat in this room will agree when I say that the bridesmaids Kirsty, Neesha and Kelly look truly amazing today.  And well Simellia, I always knew you would look stunning but wow you look beautiful today Sim. As for Nick, well what can I say, we tried our best……I'm only human. No really ….You don't scrub up too badly mate, although I am slightly annoyed that you copied my outfit.

It is of course a great honour to be asked to be asked to be best man, But from the moment Nick asked me it was clear that the best man's speech would be the most challenging part of the day for me personally..… So I had to prepare.… I took the standard approach which most men do when faced with a task they know little about and looked on the internet for ideas.… well I'm sure I'm not the only bloke in the room who has found far more interesting things to look at on the internet. So I drew a blank.

But I did read somewhere that a best man speech shouldn't take any longer than it takes the groom to make love. So ladies and gentlemen – I give you Mr and Mrs Taylor. (Take drink and sit down) I did however find a list of do's and don'ts when it comes to writing a best man's speech, which rather narrowed down my options:

Don't mention ex-girlfriends throw away card Don't swear throw away card Don't tell rude jokes throw away card Don't tell lies throw away card Do tell mostly positive stories about the groom throw away cards.

Another thing I read whilst doing my research, was that I should now give you Nick a few tips and pointers to start you off in married life. Being a married man myself, I thought I'd be perfect for the job, so please remember the following simple rules:

First, set the ground rules and establish who is boss……….… Then do everything Simelia says from now on.

The best way to remember your anniversary……… is to forget it once.

From this day forward your wife always knows a better way of doing things.

Also, it is very important to get on with your mother-in-law. I haven't spoken mine for two years, not because I don't like her, I just don't like to interrupt.

So where do I start with my friend Nick?

Well for starters he's… Handsome Witty Intelligent He's Char… Charm.… Sorry…Nick .… I'm having trouble reading your handwriting here pal, you can tell me the rest later.

I first met Nick in March 1998 in Italy on a school ski trip, Stoke had just been thrashed 5-1 by Oxford, and I can vividly remember Nick coming off the phone from his dad Andy and telling anybody that would listen that Stoke had just taken a beating! Our friendship really started to begin though a year later in 1999 at Fenton 6th form college as we found ourselves class mates studying A level geography – this was short lived though as we were then moved to separate classes for fear of giving our teacher at the time a nervous breakdown with our foolish and rowdy behaviour – Hard to believe I know.

In the following 17 or 18 years that we have known each other, we have found many a common interest – Music, food and if any of you knew the Nick Taylor from his university days, boy could he pack away the food!

Enjoying a good night out and of course football – from playing the game or should I say our best interpretation of it.

This is how Nick's ex-football manager described his game: “I have found Nick to be useless in every position.” I just hope Simellia has more luck later.

To watching Stoke at home, usually courtesy of Andy Taylor getting us in via the back door – thanks Andy!

Over the years we have had some memorable away trips to places such as Highbury, Villa Park, and Cardiff's Millennium stadium – where a rather heavily built Nick managed to nearly crush a young child to death who was sitting two roles in front in celebrating Stoke scoring against Brentford. This was partly down to the excitement of the goal but more down to the fact that he had drunk a bottle of vodka and orange while tucking into his hearty breakfast at Hanley bus station earlier that day! To Istanbul, Wembley, Germany (I won't tell the tale of the sunglasses and the 6 stone Chinese waiter) to Thun in Switzerland where Nick thought it was good idea to jump into the fast flowing river wearing the only pair of trousers that he had for the entire trip) To Valencia – the pigeon episode… Lee our animal loving friend is still scared to this very day by that! The list goes on and on… You get the picture the guys a bit of an idiot.

Seriously though, anybody who knows Nick will know that what you see is what you get. There are no airs or graces about him, he is a real decent guy with decent values and he cares for the people around him. He will go out of his way to help others and he can be a very generous guy – BUT get 5 pints of beer down Nick's neck and all that goes out of the window as you have just heard!

Nick I would like to use your love of football mate to point out that you can base your marriage around football by following these simple tips;

Ensure you are fully committed every week. Try your best to score every Saturday. Don't put your tackle in to hard – you may get injured. And no tackling from behind – especially on your wedding night.

We have all of course been brought here today to celebrate the wedding of Nick and Simelia. They though were first brought together though through work, around 5 years ago whilst working at Phones 4 U. I can remember having conversations with Nick at the time about a girl at work who he was friends with who turned out to be Simelia, it was quite clear how he spoke about Sim that he was very smitten with her also. Over time he plucked up the courage to try and move from just being friends to starting a relationship with Simelia, as the saying goes what is meant to be, is meant to be and I think that Nick and Simelia are definitely meant to be together, they make a great warm and loving couple and bring out the best in each other. They are both really positive people to be around and are great with children. I am sure that when the time comes and they are ready to start a family they will make brilliant parents together.

It has to be said Nick, you are really lucky to have found a beautiful, loving and caring wife in Simelia. And Simelia how lucky you are also… Well the rain held off for the ceremony.

So here we are ladies and gentleman, Nick and Simelia are married, for better or worse. Which is quite appropriate really, because Nick couldn't have done any better and Simelia couldn't have done any worse.

On a more serious note, Nick, we have had some excellent times together and I know that we will continue to have more in the future. You have been more like a brother to me over the years and it's been a real privilege to be your best man today… so thank you. I know how much Simelia means to you and that you will always be there for her. I know you will make a great husband and I'm sure that you will be extremely happy for many more years to come.

And on that note, ladies and gentlemen, could I ask you to stand with me, and raise your glasses in a toast to Nick and Simelia, the new Mr & Mrs Taylor.