Speech by Scott Stauffer

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Scott Stauffer
Speech Date: Jul2007
Good Afternoon Ladies and Gentleman I hope everyone is enjoying this very special day so far. It is now that point in the day when I must rise from the comfort of my chair and make a fool out of myself.

For those of you who don't know me, my name is Scott, and for those that do, well I apologize. My name is actually Scott–would-you-like-another-drink. I'd appreciate it if you could use my full name when you address me. I am the co-best man along with Justin's brothers Trent and Cory. On behalf of Trent, Cory and myself we are all glad to finally get the recognition that we deserve. “Best Men”

Before I get started there are a few people that I would like to thank on behalf of Justin and Michaela.

First the Beautiful Flower Girl Jayde and the Gorgeous Angels Morgan, Jackson and Caitlyn

The Ring Bearer, Drake Who all did wonderful jobs.

The Girl at the guest book, guys don't get any ideas, that's my daughter, Nichole

Trent, Cory, and the Groomsman, Heath, Ted, and Ryan for doing their jobs which consisted of, holding up mirrors for Justin and telling him that he looked pretty and his hair and makeup looked good and his shoes matched, giving him Kleenex when he cried, doing his nails, and constantly telling him “no you don't look fat in that tux”,

And of course I want to thank the special people that, all they really had to do was stand around pouting, looking pretty, but it would be safe to say that they have spent an enormous amount of time on their hair, make-up, nails and outfits, —without them the day just wouldn't have been complete,

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you — the ushers Luke, Dustin, Collin and Cole.

Of course I have to mention the beautiful girls up here, Vanessa, Tanya, Ashley, Laura, Cassie and Sara, not only do they look beautiful but they also did their job of getting the Bride to the wedding on time, and from what I understand she put up a hell of a fight!

Also Justin's dad Dwight and his wife Brenda, His mother Lori, and Keith, His Grandparents Verlin &amp Betty and I would have to mention the Ross's. It Seems like a lot of people to raise just one person, but Justin was not an easy kid to raise! And especially Michaela's parents Bonnie and Steve and Grandma Jayne, Who gave us the beautiful bride, It couldn't have been easy watching your daughter and granddaughter marry someone like Justin.

Now it gives me great pleasure to ask you all to raise your glasses for some very important people, without them, this day would not be the same — would you please raise your glasses and toast – The Bar Staff!

Before I go any further Michaela will you please place your hand on the table and Justin you place your hand on top of hers, I will let you know why in good time.

I am Justin's Uncle, which means that I am one of the few people here that have actually seen him in diapers. Well—-, other then the people at the bachelor party!

I can confirm that Justin slept like a baby last night — that is, he wet the bed twice and woke up several times crying for his mommy!

When Justin asked me to be his best man, I of course was honored and immediately accepted, one of the duties of being the best man is to give this speech, well to be honest being kind of lazy, I wanted to make it as easy as possible, so I cheated and started searching for ideas on the internet. After several hours of looking at porn, I remembered I was suppose to be looking for best man tips.

All kidding aside, I asked Justin what kind of a husband he wanted to be to Michaela, “he stated that he wanted to be a model husband, a model citizen, and a model lover. Being na&#239ve I looked up the word “model” in the dictionary and found it to be a small, miniature replica of the real thing.
Since I couldn't find any useful information on the internet, I was forced to make a few notes myself. Pull Out Paper
I hope you don't have anywhere to go for a while!

In all seriousness, I remember when my sister gave birth to Justin it was June 10th, 1978, I'm not saying he was an ugly baby, but Lori only had morning sickness after he was born. He was a slightly slow learner as well, in pre-school he was different then the other 4 year olds, he was 11. Truthfully though, I was so happy it was a boy, being the only boy in my family with two sisters I finally got the little brother that I “thought” I always wanted. I have to say that I have never been disappointed in him as a nephew, friend, or a person. I watched him grow up from a baby to a toddler, through the teen years and into the man that he is today. And as he grew older we became closer friends. So it has never been a nephew – uncle like relationship, more of an equal brother-to-brother or friend-to-friend. Someone I could confide in and trust. In fact when I got married to my wife DeEtte, whom I will be happily married to for 10 years, I asked him to be my best man, now 10 years later, I am happy to return the favor and I am sure they will be as happy in marriage as I am in mine.

Like brothers we didn't always get along. I remember times when I would tell him he was acting like a baby and he would call me a dopey dog breath head, and we would both go home crying, but sure enough, the next day, Justin would email me from his job at Travelers and we would make up.

But even as a kid he was the same as he is now, a good sense of humor, smart, thoughtful of other people's feelings, sorry Justin, I can't read your handwriting, the highest of moral values, a good Christian foundation, a person that anyone who meets him, would be proud to say, he is my nephew, son, friend or husband. I was hoping he would meet someone with similar traits, and luckily he did at a young age.

I remember when he first met Michaela, Justin and I were both working out at the YMCA in Kewanee and Michaela was employed there. He came up to the weight room and he was so exited, he said “holy Crap, you gotta see this chick working downstairs she's sooo hot, Well I said I remember it, I didn't say it was romantic.

Of course I had to go see what he was raving about so I went downstairs to investigate, my first thought when I saw Michaela was – Dude, she's way out of your league! But after I got to know her a little better, I came to realize — that I was wrong, she was way out of his league! But anyway she must have seen the same qualities in him, that we all see, because, Soon they formed a relationship that seems to come easy to them. That is what finding your soul mate is about. People say you have to work at a marriage but when you find the right person, that is not necessarily true, and that's what I see with you two.

When I first met Michaela my first impression was that she was very pretty, smart, a sense of humor that rivals Justin's, caring and thoughtful, now 9 years later, that opinion hasn't changed.

Of course I feel that I need to thank God for this gorgeous June Day, to thank him for the friends and family gathered as witness to this blessed Union between Justin and Michaela.

Now you may be wondering why I asked Justin to place his hand on hers. Justin as my final role as best man, it is with great pleasure that I have been able to give you the last 5 minutes in which you had the upper hand, because it most certainly will be the last.

To finish, may I say best of luck to both of you, I know you will have a long and happy future together, and thank you Justin, it has been an honor to be your best man.

And now ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure, not to mention relief to invite you all to stand and raise your glasses in a toast to the new Mr. And Mrs. Doss, may God Bless you and may you find happiness, health, wealth, and fortune. To Justin and Michaela.

Thank you and enjoy the rest of the evening.