Speech by Scott Whittle

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Scott Whittle
Speech Date: 21/09/2012 15:56:48

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls.

I firstly have a slight confession to make. In true Scott Whittle fashion, that's me by the way for those of you who don't know me, I decided to leave my speech till the last minute. I've been putting it off for weeks now, this last week or so I have had Euro 2012 on the laptop while pretending to do some notes for the speech, sorry Emma. So anyway yeah I decided times time and put the laptop on this morning and skewered the internet for some help and inspiration. I came across a cracking speech and I must confess I just printed it off and have copied it word for word.

So ladies and Gents, Boys and Girl we are all here for Bob and Sue's special day…..

I just quickly need the bride and groom to do something for me, I want them to take part an old wedding day tradition. I need you to do this for the entire speech. Lindsey I need you to put your hands on the table palms down and Geoff I need you to put your hands on top of Lindsey's also palm down, I need you to stay like that my entire speech and I will come back to the relevance of this later.

I'll start with the bridesmaids first aren't they all looking stunning today, think you will all agree, only to be outdone by the bride Lindsey today, think you will all agree with that as well. On the subject of the bridesmaids I was telling people that I was nervous about this speech and someone said to me, just imagine the bridesmaids’ naked when you stand up. I was like right ok. Now Donna, lovely girl that's fine with me. Then we get to my cousin and then we have my mum. So I quickly scrapped that idea..… I just imagined Geoff naked instead!!!!

As the best man I feel it's my duty to tell everyone how I know the groom and as most of you already know, Geoff is my uncle. I was very proud when Geoff asked me to be the best knowing he trusted me to do a good job. I did notice though that you couldn't trust me with the rings, he trusted Hadley and Kaizel with them instead and to be fair I don't blame him.

I have played Rugby with the Geoff for around 6-7 years now and being a forward mixing it up your going to get into a bit of bother sometimes, on the rare occasions I did it was always nice to know that Geoff was the first one there to help me out. As you can imagine a 20 stone prop forward, craping him self when he sees 5ft 6 10 stone Geoff coming towards them. On the subject of Rugby, we are all 100% convinced that it isn't even the rugby that he comes for we are all convinced it's the food afterwards. I remember one week he didn't play and I had to text him my review of the food at Blackpool. So what I have here is a review sheet for you to fill out (pull out clipboard and paper) on today's food. Feel free to mark it however you want.

Staying on the subject of Rugby, it's the Wigan Riversiders we play for and they had this message for you ‘Good luck from the Riversiders, Geoff scrappy do has always been the one to take on the bigger man and always seems to have to square up to the props. A forward truly in a backs body. But this is your biggest challenge yet!!! Good luck and we hope you have a perfect day. P.S your boots are under the table as we are currently down 50-0 with 10 minutes left, hurry up”

I've done a lot of research for this speech and i have seen on many sites that the best mans speech is meant to be as long as the groom's love making (look at watch) well I am well and truly over my time, THE BRIDE AND GROOM!!! (Sit down) (Get back up)

I have messages for you both here off two people who unfortunately couldn't be with us, here we go. Lindsey this first one was for you. ‘So wish it could have been me on that alter today, you husband is one lucky man’ Brad Pitt.

‘Geoff you owe your June subs’ Woody

I do have to say something though, Geoff is lucky. He will be leaving here tonight with a wife that's warm, loving and caring and Lindsey… You will be leaving with a lovely new dress and a nice bouquet of flowers

Now I know a few of you have been wandering why a few minutes ago I asked Geoff to place his hands on top of Lindsey's well….Well Geoff this is going to be the last time you ever have the upper hand!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen, please be upstanding.… Raise your glasses.… To Love..… To Laughter.… To a happy ever after.… I give you..… Bob and Sue.… Geoff and Lindsey and Bride and Groom!!!