Speech by Sean Thornborrow

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Sean Thornborrow
Speech Date: Jun2006
Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen I am Sean – Jamies best man – For those of you that are wondering why there are two best men standing up here, it's perfectly simple. He wanted to appoint a best man for the occasion, but sadly couldn't find one, so he had to make do with two barely competent ones instead.

This is quite nerve wracking actually, because last time I had to stand up and speak to a room full of people – I got a £1000 pound fine & 6 points on my licence!

I realise that I am just one of many equally suitable close friends that he could well have chosen. But I know he secretly looks upon me as the older brother he never had, ………………whereas I look on him as the younger brother I never wanted.

Firstly, on behalf of the Bridesmaids and the Ushers, I'd like to thank Jamie for his kind words. I think everybody will agree that the bridesmaids look
gorgeous and Vicki, can I just say you look absolutely stunning.
Whereas Jamie – you just look stunned.
When he asked me to be his best man today, part of me was honoured, part of me was terrified, but mostly I was laughing inwardly that he's finally admitting what we've known all along, that I am, in fact, better than him.

Having never been a best man before, I had to spend several hours surfing the interweb to try and find out exactly what my duties would be. I also came across several very interesting pictures of Britney Spears, but that's by-the-by.

Anyway i read somewhere that the best man's speech should last about as long as it takes him to do his manly duty in bed……..but seeing as we haven't got all afternoon, ill try to keep it brief.

Now I know its traditional at this stage for the best man to go on about the number of ex-girlfriends the groom has had, but quite frankly I don't want to go into all that. I find such macho male talk un-called for and offensive to the bride…………suffice to say though Jamie, 73 turned out to be your lucky number!

Seriously though….well done Jamie – you've married a beauty, Vicki is such a kind hearted girl and will do anything it seems for her family and friends. Except let me take you down the pub through the week to watch the football.

Despite this, I consider her one of my closest friends and always look forward to being in her company. But such a beautiful, kind and intelligent girl could have the choice of any man, which leaves me feeling slightly perplexed as to how she ended up with Jamie.

Let's get on to how they met. I was present that eventful night in the pagoda – a classy drinking establishment – when their eyes met across a half filled dance floor, as they approached each other Vicki immediately became trapped in the sticky beer socked carpet, the music was too loud for a conversation and it was pretty dark as well. Everything was in Jamies’ favour! They then heard a song which would become “their song” and I hope you all agree that its a classic – I know ill be requesting sexy eyes by Whigfield from the dj later tonight.

The way I see it – with all the time me and Jamie have spent growing up together, it means that he's had as much of a part in developing my sense of humour as anyone. So, whilst I have tried to make this speech funny, it's his fault if it's not.

Anyway……..Ladies and gentlemen, thanks for listening to Jon and myself. If you're having a fantastic time today – which I'm sure you all are – that's a direct result of the months of hard work and meticulous planning by the Bride & Groom. They have done an amazing job to make this a truly wonderful wedding, so please all be upstanding as I propose a toast – my very best friend and his beautiful new wife.

To Jamie & Vicki.