Speech by Sean

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Sean
Speech Date: 03/08/2016 14:52:03

(I was best man for a wedding in Poland)

Good afternoon ladies, gentleman, girls and boys.  Translator (T) Now I did ask for a microphone but I was told there wasn't one available. So if you can't hear me at the back, the silence from the people from the front should reassure you that you're not missing anything. (T) For those of you that can understand English I'm hoping this will be an enjoyable speech, if you can't……… then this will be the longest 10 minutes of your life. (T) For those of you who don't know me, I'm Sean. I have been Andrew's mate for 2 days now, he found my advert on a website. Andrew hasn't got many friends, so had to hire someone for the day. (T) Before I start, I would like to try a little experiment of which I need your full co-operation. (T) Firstly can I ask you, if possible, if you could all stand up? (T) Thank you. (T) Now, could you all close your eyes? (T) Thank you. (T) Now, bear with me, could you all raise both your arms above your head. Now please start waving your arms from side to side. (T) Now open your eyes. (T) You all look just as silly has I do stood up here in a dress J (T) (I had to wear a kilt)

Seriously though, I would like to say a big “thank you” to the bridesmaids Jess, Rebecca, Louise, Ola and Magda for today. As you will all agree they have done a marvellous job and all look fantastic. They are only eclipsed by Anna herself, who I'm sure you'll agree looks absolutely stunning. Andrew, you don't look too bad yourself, although, I am a little disappointed that you've copied my outfit! (T)

On behalf of the whole wedding party, I'd like to thank Anna & Andrew for asking us to be involved in the most important day of their lives. I know they've both put a huge amount of effort in to the planning of this wedding, especially Anna, and I can only hope that, apart from this speech, everything else will have exceeded their expectations. (T)

I must say I felt a lot of pressure over writing this, the pressure was multiplied this morning when Andrew pulled me aside and said ‘Sean, if you do a really good speech today, I promise you can be the best man at my next wedding!’ So the pressure is on! (T) I did have a quick look at book on how to be a good best man. It has a list of do's and don'ts for the speech, of which rather narrowed down my options. (T)

Don't mention ex-girlfriends (T)  don't swear (T)  don't tell rude jokes (T)  don't mention Andrews 1min 44second speed record (T)

Do tell mostly positive stories about the groom (T) so where do I start with Andrew? (T) I've really known Andrew for 13 years, unlucky for some hey!! (T)  And in those 13 years I can certainly say that it has been an adventure, and absolute pleasure knowing him. (T) I will not bore you with stories of our trips around the UK, and most dens of iniquity spread across Europe. And how he's managed to do this on a budget of “his magic fiver”. (T) But beneath his foolish, tight fisted exterior, for me he is a legend. (T) I met Andrew at a low point in my life. He picked me up, shook me, and gave me a confidence to get out there and enjoy life. So as you very much know Anna, you do have a good one there. (T) Although his sense of loyalty is quite strong, over the years Andrew has had confusing issues with his own identity. Mainly relating to which football team he supports. (T) A big Manchester City fan, who wears Manchester united shirts, and also has a Forest season ticket. But he possibly is a closet Liverpool fan.  You'll never walk alone pal. (T)

But all joking aside Andrew I want to say what a privilege it is today to be your best man and to be here on this wonderful day. (T) I would just like to read a couple of messages out from a few people who couldn't make it here today. (T) Please give them both my blessings, and have a happy marriage. One from your mum Andrew. (T) All our love on your big day. From Carl and Sandra.  Finally, Andrew, Anna, remember that marriage isn't about finding someone you can live with, but finding someone you can't live without. (T) And you both certainly have found someone very special.(T) It now gives me immense pleasure to invite everyone here to stand and raise your glasses in a toast for Andrew and Anna. As we wish them well for the future. (T) To love, life, laughter, and happily ever after (T).  Mr And Mrs R!!! (T)