Speech by Shay Maguire

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Shay Maguire
Speech Date: oct 2004
Good Evening Ladies & Gentlemen, Father Brady and especially Tom & Dee.

My name is Shay Maguire and I have the honour of being Tom's Best Man here today.

I heard a great quote last week that I'm going to borrow for this, which is “A Best Man's speech should be like a Mini Skirt…Short enough to grab your attention…but long enough to cover the subject”. So here goes…

On behalf of the bridesmaids, Louise, Mairead and Marcia I'd like to thank Tom for his kind words.

I know you'll agree that they look absolutely beautiful and have done an excellent job in helping Dee today.

Dee, you look really stunning and I know you've made Tom a very happy man.

Tom, you couldn't have found a more lovely woman to be your wife and Dee….we'll you've done pretty well yourself.

I want to thank you all for being here to help celebrate Tom & Dee's marriage and especially everyone who has helped them prepare for the big day.

And while we're at it don't you think Paul, John and myself have scrubbed up pretty well?

So now, what can I say about Tom?

Well he's smart, charming, successful….I should be charging you a lot more for this do you know that??

Tom came into this world on the 17th July 1972 and shares his birthday with David Hasselhof of Baywatch fame, which probably accounts for some of his teenage haircuts!

Unfortunately Tom didn't have a normal childhood. From an early age he displayed great mathematical ability and tunnel vision. The doctors said it was hopeless…he was always going to be an engineer! They don't get any better than that folks!

We first met when we started secondary school, the mighty De La Salle Churchtown. Tom won first place in the Entrance Exam. He told me later that that was the last exam he ever took seriously.

As you can imagine he was a model student…playing for the rugby team…school prefect…cross-dressing for Halloween. …you shouldn't hide your legs Tom! Dee you've nothing that'll fit him so I think you're alright.

Anyway, the Leaving Cert came round and either through natural talent or cogging Tom went on to UCD to study Engineering.

No sooner was he in the gate when he met his first love …Rowing.

Now you may not think it but Tom was once a fit man…and Rowing was the ideal sport for him. I mean, you don't have to kick a ball…or swing a racquet…

Surprisingly enough he turned out to be a very good rower or at least Barry & Kieran were too polite to say otherwise.

Now I'd like to take this opportunity to apologise to Tom's team-mates for the state of his gear over the years.

Unfortunately Tom's nose doesn't work the best and he had no problem wearing the same gear for weeks on end while the others suffered.

All I can say is that he has absolutely no chance of getting away with that sort of thing now that Dee's around. He has to iron his trousers to go to the shops these days.

Now while that was all going on I had joined the Bank. We still kept in touch though …mainly by spending my salary in the Belfield Bar. I eventually moved back to Dublin and we've shared a house ever since.

We've had some great adventures over the years. Mainly around Rugby …or Beer…but usually rugby and Beer.

Details are sketchy and to protect the innocent…or not so innocent I'm not going to tell tales but if you buy me a pint I could be persuaded.

And looking back on it all we've never really fallen out .have we??

Apart that is from one game of poker last year when I almost bet Tom's family heirloom cufflinks on a Full House. But thankfully he calmed down and I'm here to tell the tale. I would have won the hand though!

Now there's a lot of debate about when Tom & Dee started going out…he's such a dark horse that you'll never get a straight answer out of him.

I know there were a few false starts and I think Tom was disqualified for a while but thanks to a few U2 tickets we can definitely say that love began to blossom in September 01.

Well it must have blossomed fairly lively because I didn't see him at all for the next year!

Then one day the phone rang…Tom had forgotten where we lived…

He eventually showed up and said that the lease on Dee's apartment was up and would I mind if she moved in..to the spare room.

No problem I said ‘cos I knew she was a great cook and I thought I'd be set up.

Joking aside, I've got to know Dee very well over the last while. She's one of the nicest people I've ever met and I'm delighted that two of my closest friends are getting married today.

Ladies & Gentlemen,

I'm delighted and proud to have known Tom for the last 20 years. He's a great guy and he's like a brother to me…I know he's going to make a great wife.

Tom, you're a really lucky man to have met Dee. I know you love each other very much. I want to wish you both a long and happy life together.

On behalf of Tom & Deirdre I'd like to thank you all for coming here to share their day.

So now will you please be upstanding and raise your glasses in a toast to the Bride & Groom.

To Deirdre & Tom!