Speech by Simon Tuck

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Simon Tuck
Speech Date: Apr 2002
Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. I use the term gentlemen loosely, as I know most of you are Sunderland supporters! Can everybody hear me at the back? Fantastic….… right then.

For those of you who are lucky enough not to know me I'm Simon, Tracey's brother and now, Keith's brother in law. Firstly on behalf of the bridesmaids I'd like to thank Keith for his kind words which I'd just like to reiterate, as I'm sure you'll agree that they look fantastic.
On behalf of Keith and our Tracey I'd like to thank you all for coming and making this a very special day, even if it was just to get a free meal!

Before I begin to ramble on I would like to take a moment to read out a few cards and messages from friends and family. (READ CARDS)

Tradition has it that the best mans speech is designed to perform a complete character assassination and embarrass and humiliate the groom. But as Keith does this so well himself on a regular basis I thought I'd break from tradition and tell you all what a kind and, caring and thoughtful man he is. As you can imagine, after weeks of trying the speech only said Keith is a kind caring and thoughtful man so I thought I'd revert back to plan A.
I've known Keith as long as I can remember and I've grown up with Keith and Tracey always being there. It's been a hard life. Think about it…..thats 21 years of them. So as you can imagine I've seen some dodgy haircuts, nasty taches and full on Grisly Adams beards.
And Keith's been no better!

This has been a difficult speech to write, as Keith is a bit to good to be true. There was no wild stag weekend in Amsterdam to report on, and there is certainly no scandal about alcoholism, drug rehab or chronic gambling problems. So I just thought I'd say a few words about the great man.
Firstly, it's a bit embarrassing but, I'd like to say that he's been a hero of mine for a long time. I've always admired his personality, sense of humour and his work ethic. And the fact that he's the second highest goal scorer in the premier league, but hey, that's enough about Alan Shearer!

What I would like to do is tell you all how highly I think of Keith. Over the past year he helped me buy my first car which sadly, is no longer with us. He helped me fix the thing when I broke it. He's given me mortgage advice when I was clueless. And best of all when I moved away last year he did a 10 hour shift at work, came home, drove a van full of furniture 200 miles to Birmingham over night, helped unpack at the other end, plumbed in my washing machine, set up my cooker and the drove the 200 miles back to drop then van off when he got home. So I thought I'd use today as an opportunity to say thank you from both myself and my fiancée Sam for being our friend. As well as our mechanic, plumber, electrician, taxi driver, mortgage advice specialist and all round top fella.

On a serious note, over the past 21 years I've seen Keith go through some good times, and I've seen him go through some bad times. I've watched him cope with what life's had to thrown at him and he's done this with the same quiet dignity, honesty and strength which is why he has made me a very proud man by marrying my sister today.

So here we are. After 21 years it's finally happened. Its said that you don't marry the person you can live with – you marry the person you cant live without.

Well, you'll be glad to know that as best man I only have two more things to say.
Firstly The hotel staff have asked me to request that, for health and safety reasons, none of you get up on the tables and chairs during my standing ovation.

And secondly, ladies and gentlemen can I please ask you to raise your glasses and join me in a toast. I think I can speak for everyone in this room when I say
“ITS ABOUT BLOODY TIME!”

Ladies and gentlemen the bride and groom!