Speech by Spencer Ursell

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Spencer Ursell
Speech Date: Apr2005
Good afternoon everyone. For those of you who don't know me, my name is Spencer. Phil asked me to be his best man which I considered to be a great honour, right up until 30 seconds ago. It is therefore my duty to say a few nice things about him….… and maybe a few not so nice.
Now, being a best man means there are a couple of jobs to do.
1. To thank the groom on behalf of the bridesmaids for his kind words, and this I will do, so Phil, thank you on behalf of the bridemaids for your kind words.
2. The next job was to make sure the groom was here, on time, sober and looking good….well 2 out of 3 aint bad.
I'm sure you will all agree that everyone involved has made it a fantastic day to remember. The service was very moving and listening to some of the things that have been said has been so emotional that even the cake's in tiers. A joke there for under 5’s.
I first met Phil at school aged 11. History was repeating itself as both our mums were also together in the same school class some 40 years earlier.
We stayed in the same classes during the High School and Lutterworth Grammar School until we went our separate ways and entered the thrilling and exciting world of paid employment. I went to work in a bank and Phil went into insurance and two of the dullest professions you could have wished for and 15 years later, its not much better.
Phil has always been a good sportsman. I have enjoyed many happy days of golf with him as we hacked yet another course to bits.
Phil can hit a ball off the tee a tremendous distance….now which direction it goes in, is anyones guess.
I remember one shot in particular, well, what I mean is, Phil reminds me about it all the time. He took an age in his preparation some 30 yards from the pin. He was checking the wind direction and so on, when he then topped it. It didn't get off the ground as it bobbled and bounced towards the pin and somehow it went in. It's the only time I've ever seen him dance!
Phil's first love was playing football. When we were still on our teens, an indoor football side was formed. In later years Phil's brother, Matt, was to also don the famous jersey in his pivotal role of occasional substitute.
Before the unimportant business of choosing players, positions and tactics, more pressing matters had to be addressed, to give the team a name. It had to be something go getting, something to grab you, something Hollywood about it. That team was of course named ‘The Phil BAiley All Stars’.
It was at an ‘All Stars’ game, just before a match, that the starngest thing happened. Phil arrived and had a female in tow! We couldn't believe it. We of course thought that she was lost or confused. We then realised he had actually got himself a girlfriend, and she wasn't to shabby either.
He normally played football with the vision of Stevie Wonder, but this time, with Jo watching, he played out of his pale skin. Jo was noticably impressed with the firmness in his tackle and when he opened his legs and showed his class…she nearly fainted.
This continued, i.e every time Jo turned up, Phil had a blinder and when she didn't turn up, he had a stinker. We were obviously delighted every time we saw Jo then, and this hasn't changed even to this day. It's always good to see Jo.
Jo. can I just say that you look absolutely stunning – one in a million, and Phil, what can I say – you look like you were won in a raffle.
They have decided to get married for better or for worse, which is appropriate as Phil couldn't have done any better and JO…definitely couldn't have done any worse!
Having done 9 years hard labour myself, I think I'm in a position to give some advice on marriage.
1. Never go to bed on an unresolved arguement, this is sound advice. The best policy I believe is to stay up and fight.
2. Never forget the 3 magic words she loves to hear, ‘you're right dear’.
And a final couple of thoughts to the both of you.
You don't marry someone because you can live with them, you marry them because you simply cannot live without them.
And to Phil, a man is not complete until he is married, then he's finished.
I've known him for over 20 years and in all that time we've never had an arguement, which says a lot about Phil and how unselfish he is.
He is very learnerd and very handy in a pub quiz simply for his knowledge of the periodic table.
He helped me enormesly last year when he joined me in painting huge amounts of my house during a large redecaration over many days. It was appreciated then and 1 year on, it's probably been appreciated more. Now though is an opportune moment to say that he did miss a bit over the bathroom window.
If you've enjoyed listening to this as much I have enjoyed making it then I can only apologise.
It gives me great pleasure and not to mention total relief therefore, to ask you politely to all stand and join me in a final toast to the very happy couple, Mr & Mrs Bailey.
Thank you.