Speech by Ste James

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Ste James
Speech Date: 24/07/2012 13:37:16

When Ste asked me to be his best man, at first I was made up, firstly that he was going to marry the woman that he loves, and secondly that he had asked me to be his best man. Then after a few pints in Dixie's, it dawned on me. The speech. Choking on my beer at the realisation that I would have to stand up and talk in front of his family and closest friends, I started to think ‘Why me?’. Then I remembered there was no-one else he could ask. Not having that many mates pretty much narrowed the list down to a handful, and everyone else is away.

Not liking to stand up in front of people, I was slightly nervous to say the least over what to say and do, but both Ste and Helen both reassured me, saying, “all you have got to do is stand up, look a little idiotic, tell a few jokes and be confident.” It doesn't really take a genius to work out that I can't be much more than a little idiot next to him now does it!

Before I go on I think a few thank-you's are in order.

I'd like to start by thanking everyone on behalf of Ste and Helen, for sharing their wedding day, although personally I wish you'd all stayed at home, because things would have been a lot easier on me. I'd like to thank everyone for there assistance no matter how small in the preparations for today and I know how much it has meant to both Ste and Helen you all being here today.

Secondly a thanks to the parents too. If it weren't for you, none of us would be sitting here now, but relaxing at home, or in some cases the pub! Seriously though, I know you have done a lot for both Ste and Helen so thank you.

Thanks also to the bridesmaids, Jen and Sarah, for helping Helen to get to the church in one piece and looking so lovely and then managing to get yourselves looking top notch as well. Ste would also like to thank you for your help in making sure there wasn't a last minute change of mind!

Special thanks from Ste goes to Helen, for turning up. If any of you have never seen Ste when he's nervous before, then believe me when I say that it is not a pretty sight!

Anyway a few words about the Ste himself. I know it's traditional for the best man to mention the number of ex-girlfriends the groom has had, but I don't want to get into all that. Frankly, I find such macho male posturing vulgar and offensive to the bride. But, suffice to say Ste, 72 turned out to be your lucky number.

Ste also provided me a list which I wasn't to talk about, including hoovers, old ladies and Skegness. Personally I would like to know exactly how these fit together and anyone who wishes to enlighten me later, then it might be worth a pint! I was concerned however when reminded of Ste quite often dressing in women's clothing. Not by the fact that he has done it, I mean, we all do it at some stage for a laugh or fancy dress, but he seems to enjoy it! Seeing Ste in a little black number, with long hair, make-up and heels is one thing, but hearing of him in a bikini, that makes me wonder!

I've known Ste for longer than I can care to remember, and every time I think back there has never been a dull moment. Ste has the image sometimes of being an ogre, but in reality he's big and soft. Almost like Shrek. Many a time Ste has been called upon to help out whether it is a broken down car, or the occasional time when stuck in town and needing to be brought home. And I'm surprised he still talks to me half the time. And these adventures more often than not end up in friendly squabbling and the dreaded argument. If anyone of you has been in the unfortunate situation to enter into a heated debate with Ste, you will know that it is not a time when you will come out of without ear ache. He loves an argument! Like a car needs fuel to move, Ste needs an argument to be motivated. Look out Helen!

Diplomacy is a word I would never have thought to be used when describing Ste, but it is in fact one of his more positive points. Although he likes a heated debate more than the next person, and very really backs down even if he knows he is wrong, at times the United Nations have nothing on Ste.

Since meeting Helen, not much has changed with him. He still argues and there's always still a wake of destruction following him. But the one difference is, he has someone to argue with! Over the last few years, somehow Helen has managed to tame the beast through love. He's also nearly learning those words I hear so often coming from husbands everywhere, ‘Yes Dear!’

So finally ladies and gentlemen, Please could you all stand and raise your glasses, and join me in wishing them both all the love and happiness a couple can possibly have.

To Stephen and Helen