Speech by Steven Hech

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Steven Hech
Speech Date: Jun2007
First of all, id just like to welcome you all to this lovely wedding, and on behalf of the bride and groom, id like to thank the many of you who have travelled such a long distance to make this day so special. It really has been a very emotional day,…..… even the cakes in tiers.

I am sure you will agree that this has turned out to be a brilliant wedding celebration so far but unfortunately every silver lining has a cloud,…..so here I am.

When Paul told me about his engagement, I was obviously delighted. And then he asked me to be the best man, which I was honoured about, but I couldn't help but think there would be someone better suited for the job than me, and I said this to Paul. He phoned me up the next day and said ill tell you what, ill give u 㿀 if you do it, but I said im sorry, no. He then offered me 㿞. But then I started to get offended, and I told him that im a man of principal, and I cant be bought. He then offered me 1 of the bridesmaids.

So hello ladies and gentlemen, my names Jon, and im the best man.

The first role I had to carry out as best man was to begin writing the speech, so the obvious place to look seemed to be the Internet. So I began to look, and after a couple of hours I found some really good stuff on the net, ……but then I remembered I was supposed to be looking for best man tips.

I did actually find loads of pre made speeches, but none were about a couple called Paul and Lyn, so it looks like its all up to me afterall.

I have actually taken my role of best man very seriously, so im going to share a couple of the duties ive been involved in. The first was to make sure the groom turned up on time, sober, and looking good. And I think you'll all agree,…… 2 out of 3 isn't bad.

My next task was to read up about the service to make sure I knew what was going to happen, and I read that the 3 most important parts of the service are

Aisle, the longest walk youll ever take
Altar, the place where 2 become 1
Hymn, the celebration of marriage
I think Lyn mustve read the same thing as me, because when she was walking past me im sure I heard her whisper aisle alter hymn, ill alter him.

I was actually really nervous about having to do this speech, so I decided to go and practice it infront of an audience at my Grandmas old age home. They seemed to enjoy it. They all pissed themselves.

Honestly though, it really is a great honour to be Pauls best man, and I feel privileged to be able to say that I was involved, standing side by side with him through the happiest day of his life.

That day when Celtic won the league, it was a brilliant day.

Paul was always a slow starter. At nursery he was different from the other 4yr olds….… He was 11.

Ive never heard anyone question Pauls intelligence, infact ive never heard anyone mention it. I remember 1 day we were at pizza hut, and the waiter asked if he wanted his pizza cut up into 4 slices or 8, and Paul said youd better make it 4, ill never manage 8.

I was actually going to bring this cute picture of Paul in for you all to see, it's a picture of him sleeping on the floor, dribbling, with a big chocolate stain round his mouth. But I thought he might get a bit embarrassed. It was only taken last week.

Honestly though, Paul is a really caring and thoughtful guy. I remember 1 time I was suffering from a really bad migraine and Paul did a wonderful job looking after me. Of course, when I say looking after me, what I actually mean is he came barging into my room, threw a box of aspirin at my head and said “here you are, you owe me a fiver”

Since quite a few of Pauls friends from University are here, I thought id try and find out a few things about what he was like when he was at Uni. His friends told me that Paul was somewhat of a God back then.

He was rarely seen or heard, and if he ever did any work it was a bloody miracle.

Since then, Paul has developed into a really hard worker, and he takes his job very seriously. So I spoke to some of his work colleagues, and they assured me that hes a first class banker. Although I think I might've misheard, given that Paul actually works in statistics.

This brings me onto when he met Lyn. Before he met her, he was downcast, sarcastic and could be very cutting with his remarks. And I think its great that Lyn hasn't tried to change him.

All the men will agree that it's a sad day, as another beauty leaves the available list.

Ladies, I””m sure you””ll all agree that today is passing by without much of a ripple.

I'd like to thank a couple of people, who quite frankly have had it fairly easy. All they have really had to do is stand around pouting, looking pretty, and chatting up the male guests. But it is worth saying that they have spent a lot of time on their hair, make up and outfits, and without them the day just wouldn't have been complete.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Ushers, Adam and Chris.

Id just like to take a second to thank the bridesmaids for all their hard work in making this wedding what it is, and they look beautiful. Almost as stunning as Lyn, I'm sure you'll all agree.

I was actually speaking to Lyns mum this morning, and I asked her what she thought about her daughter getting married to Paul. And she said, it seems like only yesterday I was sending her to bed with a dummy.
Its funny how history repeats itself.

So here we are, Paul and Lyn are married, for better or worse. Which is quite appropriate, coz Paul couldn't have done any better and Lyn couldn't have done any worse.

When I first met Lyn, my impression was of a beautiful, witty, charming, clever and friendly person, and although shes tarnished this by agreeing to marry Paul, everyone who knows him will agree with me in saying she is the best thing that has ever happened to him, and we couldn't be more pleased to welcome her into the family.

Paul, I stand here not only as your brother, but as your friend, and im extremely proud of you. So to wrap up, id just like to say to you Paul, that marriage is not about finding someone you can live with, its about finding someone you cant live without. And you've done just that.

So I started planning this speech a few weeks ago, and it feels like ive actually been delivering it that long, so it now gives me immense pleasure, not to mention relief, to invite you all to be upstanding for Paul and Lyn, we wish you all the happiness for the future.

The new mr and mrs ……

Paul and Lyn.