Speech by Stuart Tudor

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Stuart Tudor
Speech Date: oct 2003
Afternoon everyone, for those of you who don't know me, I am Stuart, and I
am S alleged best man, I sure you'll all admit this has turned out to be a
brilliant wedding celebration so far, the only down point is that now
you've all got to listen to me.

I'd just like to start by thanking everyone on behalf of the Bride and
groom, for sharing their wedding day, particularly those who have travelled
long distances. Personally, I wish you'd all stopped at home, because
things would have been a lot, lot easier on me.

On behalf of the Bridesmaids, I would like to thank S for his kind words. I
am sure that everyone present will agree that the bridesmaids look lovely,
only surpassed by you P, and even S has scrubbed up well, only difference
being it took only him 20 minutes to get ready.

So, starting from the beginning, S or H as he was known to his mates at
school, was born on 8th February 1979, I did try to link this with some big
world event, but it seems that nothing else happened that day, so I thought
I'd best ask J if I could borrow some embarrassing pictures that she might
have. I did get some pictures done and they're over there lent up against
the wall so you can all look at them later.

Anyway S was born and has grown up in Stockton Heath, always living ½ a
mile from the mulberry tree!! Until the age of 4 he had a sheltered life
then fortunately for him he was introduced to me, little did our families
know where that would land us in a few years!

It was great having S as a friend growing up, as J (his dad) always had the
latest computers gadgets, so many an hour was spent playing on The commidor
64, then when PCs came out every night was spent cross-eyed in front of the
monitors playing mind numbing games, looking back though I spent most of my
time watching S show me how it was done. Something I would get used to!!

The only time growing up that we wouldn't be causing trouble together is
every summer holiday, S would finish school on the Friday and by Saturday
morning, he would be in Anglesey, then 6 weeks later would return with more
stories than Enid Blighton! Boasting of everything from sizes of conger
eels that he had caught to women he had tried to chat up, without success.

One incident I remember really well was when S and I were playing on the
swing in his back garden, as lads do having a competition who could jump
off from the highest height, so off I went backwards landing with a crunch,
fracturing both bones completely in my arm. You can imagine as a kid
screaming. Js diagnostic was a sprained wrist and off I walked home, 3
operations later it was sorted!

S followed in his dads footsteps in the love of water, something I could
never understand, growing up he would be on beach in Anglesey in summer or
winter water-skiing, with J shouting instructions from the boat. Madness,
personally I think J had the right idea and usually watched from dry land
or went shopping.

S and his dad have always done everything together! When S took to model
car racing, J would be behind him giving instructions, then when S would
destroy the car, J would rebuild it, giving a few choice words to S!
I remember their front room looking like a trophy center as S would collect
trophies from every competition, even for coming 5th in the group H Final,
whatever that meant!

After model car racing fizzled out S was back on the water, he still rings
me up to see if I want to go and drive the boat whilst he ski's, err I can
think of more exciting things to do! Like washing the car or cutting my toe
nails!

One summer a few years back all the lads went to Anglesey for a week's
holiday! I can remember one drunken night when a small argument had begun
in the caravan between a couple of the lads! S had been in bed for a while
when he woke to the arguing, with out thought he sprinted from the back
bedroom pinning Fez down to the settee lying on top of him legs spread
either side of fez's head. The main problem for Fez was that S was stark
naked, and Ss bits dangled into fez's face!! Which soon sorted the argument
as everyone just collapsed on the floor in stitches.

Then there was the time in Mexico when S had a crush on one of the reps, so
one night we set him up with one of them, we told him to go on the nightly
bar cruise as somebody wants to get to know you. Along he went with a big
grin, only to come back in a totally different mood, the person that we had
set him up with was the other rep a lovely Mexican bloke who took a liking
to S! Not what he was expecting!

Then came P, well after a string of other girlfriends that is!! I am still
not sure how he managed it, but pure persistence must have something to do
with it! Like his marriage proposal, P probably thought that she was safe
in Australia for a month's holiday, only for S to fly half way round the
world to track her and whisk her off to some remote island and propose, but
that's S, he does nothing by half's!
I would like to wish you all the best for you future together.

****CARDS****

Finally, it would give me great pleasure and not to mention relief to
invite you all to be up standing ????..

?????? and raise your glasses to the bride and groom.