Speech by Stuart Wilson
This speech went down brilliantly. They were laughing all through it. Thanks for all the tips Stuart Wilson
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Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Stuart Wilson
Speech Date: aug 2001
GOOD AFTERNOON LADIES AND GENTS, I WOULD LIKE TO THANK PAT & GARY ON BEHALF OF THE BRIDESMAIDS FOR THEIR KIND WORDS. I'M SURE YOU WILL ALL AGREE THEY LOOK LOVELY TODAY.
FOR THOSE WHO DON'T KNOW ME MY NAME IS STUART AND I'M THE BEST MAN.
FEEL FREE TO SAY HELLO AT THE BAR LATER. MINE WILL BE A DOUBLE!
BEFORE I START, GARY AND LOUISE HAVE ASKED THAT FOR SAFETY REASONS AT THE END OF THIS SPEECH , YOU REFRAIN FROM GETTING UP ON THE TABLES AND CHAIRS, DURING MY STANDING OVATION!!… ….THANKS
I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO APPOLOGISE FOR THE SILENT PATCHES AND STUTTERS..… THE HILTON INFORMED ME THAT MY MICROPHONE HAS BEEN ON THE BLINK ALL WEEK. (TAP THE MICROPHONE)
IT'S A REAL HONOUR TO BE GARY'S BEST MAN – AS WELL AS NERVE-WRACKING BUT HE'S ASSURED ME , THAT IF I DO A GOOD JOB THEN I CAN BE BEST MAN AT HIS NEXT WEDDING…….!!
GAY HAS TOLD ME THAT HE WAS NOT NERVOUS AT ALL ABOUT THE BIG DAY. IN FACT I KNOW HE SLEPT LIKE A BABY LAST NIGHT………… HE WAS UP EVERY HALF HOUR CRYING FOR HIS MUMMY !!!
JOKING ASIDE I'M SURE YOU WILL ALL AGREE THAT LOUISE LOOKED ABSOLUTELY STUNNING THIS AFTERNOON…..… (CLAP & WAIT)
& GARY LOOKED STUNNED…..…
AFTER SPEAKING WITH SOME OF GARYS FRIENDS I FOUND OUT THAT HE WAS A SLOW STARTER RIGHT FROM AN EARLY AGE. EVEN AT NURSERY YOU COULD SEE A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HIM AND THE OTHER 5-YEAR-OLDS…… HE WAS ELEVEN!!!
AT HIGH SCHOOL AS WELL WHEN YOU ASKED HIS TEACHERS WHAT THEY THOUGHT HE WOULD BE WHEN HE LEFT THE USUAL REPLY WAS , “ABOUT 25…” !!
THE PLACE I HAVE SPENT MOST OF MY TIME WITH GARY IS IN THE PUB AND THAT'S WHEN YOU CAN SEE GARY IS A MAN OF VISION……..…
SOMETIMES BLURRED AND MOSTLY DOUBLE.
THIS WOULD BE A GOOD BIT TO MENTION THE STORIES THAT HAPPENNED ON THE STAG NIGHT A FEW WEEKS AGO, BUT UNFORTUNATELY IT WAS MOSTLY A DRUNKEN BLUR.
I DO NEED TO THANK GARY AND HIS BROTHER BARRY FOR INVITING ME TO PLAY CARDS WITH THEM IN THE EARLY HOURS…………
IT WAS THE QUICKEST £40 QUID I'VE LOST.
AFTER A LONG LECTURE FROM ONE OF THE BRIDESMAIDS IV'E BEEN TOLD TO PLAY FOR MATCHES NEXT TIME!!!!
WELL GARY AND LOUISE HAVE FINALLY DECIDED TO GET MARRIED FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE………WHICH IS QUITE APPROPRIATE….…
AS GARY COULDN'T HAVE DONE ANY BETTER AND LOUISE COULDN'T HAVE DONE ANY WORSE.
I ASKED GARY A WHILE AGO WHY WE WERN'T WEARING KILTS TODAY ……… BUT HE TOLD ME HE WAS KEEN TO WEAR A SUIT BECAUSE TOMORROW LOUISE WILL BE WEARING THE TROUSERS !!!!
SOME WORDS YOU COULD USE TO DESCRIBE GARY ARE CHARMING, INTELLIGENT AND ENTERTAINING..… BUT I DON'T WANT TO SPOIL LOUISES DAY BY LYING!!
HE WAS ONCE DESCRIBED AS ARROGANT, CONCEITED, INSENSITIVE AND SELFISH……….WELL LET'S FACE IT IF ANYONE WOULD KNOW HIM IT WOULD BE HIS MUM.
GARY HAS ALWAYS BEEN KNOWN TO BE A HARD WORKER. IN FACT IN WORK HE GETS CALLED “GOD”……………
– NO-ONE EVER SEES HIM
– HE MAKES HIS OWN RULES
& ANY WORK HE DOES IS A BLOODY MIRACLE
YOU KNOW IT'S A BIT HARD TO BELIEVE… BUT GARY IS A BIT NAIVE WHEN IT COMES TO SEXUAL MATTERS. I ASKED HIM WHAT MUTUAL CLIMAX WAS…..… AND HE WAS SURE IT WAS AN INSURANCE COMPANY !!!!
ONE THING IS FOR CERTAIN THOUGH..… LOUISE WILL NEVER LEAVE GARY…..… WELL SHE HAS SPENT THE LAST SEVEN YEARS TRAINING HIM SO WHY WASTE IT.
GARY I'M NOT GOING TO STAND UP HERE AND TELL YOU THE SECRET'S OF BEING HAPPILY MARRIED………WHAT CHANCE DO I HAVE WHEN MOST MARRIED MEN DON'T KNOW IT………!
TO ROUND OFF THIS SPEECH I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THAT GARY, IN LOUISE YOU HAVE FOUND SOMEONE ATTRACTIVE, FUNNY, SMART,LOVING AND CARING AND A MATCH FOR YOU ANY DAY OF THE WEEK. AND LOUISE YOU HAVE FOUND…………….GARY.
GARY – NOW THAT YOU ARE MARRIED YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE THE LAST SAY………..… YES DEAR !!!
LOUISE – YOU DESERVE A GOOD HUSBAND….… AND WE ARE ALL VERY PLEASED YOU HAVE MARRIED GARY BEFORE YOU FOUND ONE
CARDS…………………..…
-GARY I LOVE YOU AND WE COULD HAVE BEEN GREAT TOGETHER
BIG ARCHIE.
TV LICENSE CO, SEE YOU WHEN YOUR HOME.
SERIOUSLY THOUGH IT HAS BEEN A GREAT HONOUR TO BE BEST MAN FOR GARY TODAY AND I THINK THE DAY HAS BEEN GREAT SUCCESS. YOU MAKE A GREAT COUPLE AND I WISH YOU BOTH ALL THE LUCK IN THE FUTURE AND A VERY HAPPY LIFE TOGETHER.
WOULD YOU ALL STAND FOR A TOAST TO THE BRIDE AND GROOM
GARY & LOUISE.
