Speech by Terry Crampton

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Terry Crampton
Speech Date: Dec 2001
‘LADIES AND GENTLEMEN

At an occasion as happy and joyous as this I must say I feel honoured and
proud to be Neil's Best Man.

I spent many a night awake trying to plan this speech to no avail.

In fact, I hope you'll all indulge me if I can just picture you all naked.
(Pause look around, look at Kirsten, wink, look back)

Before I share a few memories with you that I have of the groom I would like
to take a moment to read out a few cards and messages from friends and
family

READ OUT CARDS

Oh here are two just to you Neil

1) Neil, we could have been so good together – Brittany Spears

2) Neil, we could have been so good together – Elton John

Where was I ……?

Here's a thought (Kirsten's dad) isn't it funny how history repeats itself,
not so long ago you were sending Kirsten to bed with a dummy and know here
you are again PAUSE

Neil and myself have been friends since school and a few things over the
years have stuck in my mind, firstly, his fashion sense, he has always been
a leader rather than a follower, from the days of Addidas, through to
MacDonald's sunglasses (you know the ones with aluminous arms)

But my personal favourite has to be his hairstyles, I have been told by a
reliable source that whilst on holiday in Ibiza after a few drinks, Neil
said he was going to shave, a few moans and groans and half an hour later he
emerged still with stubble, but a lovely smooth head
I would imagine you are all interested in the events of the stag party, well
in my capacity as best man I feel it my responsibility to keep it a safe
guarded secret but what I will tell you is..…
The night club rang me to thank Neil for entertaining the whole club with
his dancing with Fiona look at Neil what you don't realise is Fiona is here
today and would like to dance again (look at door, pull Fiona out)

No, but seriously there has been a change in the boy over the years, he has
mellowed a bit, become more easy going, he is in short a very happy man and
that's good to see and I think the lady formally known as Miss Rogers just
may have something to do with this.

I also know she has improved Neil's ability to make things, he had a problem
making coleslaw in home economics, but with a little help from Kirsten,
their daughter Tegan is the most beautiful little girl and one to make you
both proud.

I know you both will be very happy together, and with Tegan you will make a
lovely family.

So I would like you all to raise your glasses to the bride and groom’.