Speech by Tolon Tolon

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Tolon Tolon
Speech Date: oct 2003

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is quite unusual for me. Here I
am with a room full of people waiting to listen to my
every word, and for once I can't think of any thing to
say. GROOM, I think you were more interesting. When
GROOM came to me and asked me to be his best man, get him
to the church on time and say a few nice things about him
at the reception, I told him that it would be an honor but
thought he might be better off with someone else.…

Then he offered me 20 quid…
I said "I'm not a man who can be bought, it is not about
money"
Then he offered me 40 quid…

So, after noticing the worth of the friendship, I
agreeded to be GROOM's best man and I'm sure you'll
agree that my first duty, that of getting him to the
church, sober, on time and eventually married was a
complete success.

A wise man once told me that a best man's speech should
last only as long as it takes the groom to make love…so
thank you and goodnight

No seriously, I really was nervous about making a speech
today, so I prepared a few lines – and having snorted them,
feel absolutely fine!!

It's customary on this occasion for the Best Man to drag up
some embarrassing anecdote from the Groom's past. Now I had
two problems with this. Firstly, GROOM originally
insisted on vetting the speech, which would have meant me
going to the trouble of preparing two speeches. Luckily he
relented. Secondly, GROOM is the original Mr Nice Guy,
and it's very difficult to think of anything bad to say
about him.

After seeing most of my friends already married I can tell
you a few things about getting hitched.
Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger
and two under the man's eyes…
Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant
with friends. You order what you want, and when you see
what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that…
Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm
clock..! Marriage is not a word, It's a sentence (a life
sentence!), you get less for murder.
There are 5 rings involved in marriage: Engagement ring,
wedding ring, suffering, torturing and enduring!!!

GROOM´s link to this beautiful city started earlier that
we all think. Glasgow is gifted tonight with the presence
of his new adopted son, a man who was born in the same
year, and in a city not casualty to far from where Celtic
Glasgow won the European Cup against Inter Milan . His link
to this country continues with his permanent definition of
Marriage, coming even from before he met BRIDE and taken
from THAT MOVIE about that UNREAL sCOTLAND, the movie
Highlander "We are all falling in marriage. There can be
only one.single"

In our hometownl he spent his formative years going to
Marianistas school, a priests college who might marked us
in a way we liked but unfortunately did it in a way we did
not like it., Religion was never is favourite, as a matter
of fact GROOM´s understanding of Christianity is very
limited, so much so that he still believes the book of
Genesis was written by Phil Collins. But it was from the
priests schools where, after seeing all those single,
lonely and bored self-made men teaching he took the idea
and determination of not depending of anyone, bringing up
to light his own ideas about being and realising himself.
He moved on and completed his career in business
management, after which, and due to his love for his
hometown and the woman he loved, happily living there, only
him could see the business that nobody else could see, in a
dry, sunny, sandy and plain land of La Mancha, he was
determined to make people get their wish and created a Ski
travel agent, in order to bring people to the mountains to
ski. Where some people believed he wouldn't succeded with
the idea, he did it and the company thrieved, improved year
after year, becoming one of the top businesses in our
hometown.

Now, how can I make this speech without mentioning BRIDE,
the wonderful bride. She is beautiful, intelligent, caring
and, in GROOM, I think she's made a wonderful choice of
first husband. Nicky has always been supportive to him and
showed a great attitude at the time of integrating herself
into this group formed by all-time friends, lack of
language was never trouble due to her disposition to belong
to our community so, I have to say, Ann and Peter, Peter
and Ann, we are absolutely pleased in having BRIDE among
the group of friends and we always tried to make her feel
happy and confortable with us, this would be our little
help in order to establish this culminating love story as
we can see it here today.

In order to not extending myself much longer, I am goin to
finish taking this opportunity to say a few thank you's.
Firstly, to Ana, the bridesmaid. Now I know what you're
thinking, but you'd be wrong. It is apparently quite
difficult to pout, look pretty, and hold flowers all the
same time, especially for over an hour, but I'm sure you'll
agree she performed such a role brilliantly,
looking beautiful and have done an amazing job here today, so i want to ask
an applause for her.

I'd also like to thank everyone on behalf of the Bride and
Groom for sharing their special day, especially those of
you who made a great effort arranging working hours and
spare time in order to be here today.

BRINDIS
To round off, it gives me great pleasure, not to mention
great relief, to ask you to charge your glasses and raise a
toast to the happy couple.

Could you please stand now and join me in a toast to the
bride and grooms parents for this special day, and to all
those who were sadly unable to be here today. And would you
all please remain standing, and joining me in a toast to
the happy couple. May you both live as long as you
like and have all that you like for as long as you live…

"Mr and Mrs Muñoz".