Speech by Tony Davies

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Tony Davies
Speech Date: 06/10/2014 10:49:51

Ladies and gentlemen, if there's anybody here this afternoon who's feeling nervous, apprehensive and queasy at the thought of what lies ahead right now…… it's probably because you have just married Steve. I must say that I am not nervous about making this speech. In fact this is the fifth time today that I have got off a warm seat with pieces of paper in my hand. Now I did read somewhere that a Best Man's speech should not take any longer than it takes the Groom to make love. (Look at watch) So, on that note ladies and gentlemen can I ask you all to raise your glasses……………….

I hope everyone is enjoying this very special day so far. It's been such an emotional day……even the cake is in tiers. Now, I'm sure you will all agree that all the barmaid's look beautiful today………..Sorry, the bridesmaids! The Bridesmaids look beautiful today and so do the barmaids.

I've actually looked forward to this moment for a long time. It will be the first time I've been able to speak for five minutes in Steve's presence without being interrupted! I have to say how lucky you are Steve because you will leave here today having gained a wife that is attractive, smart, loving and caring and Rebekah how lucky you are, you leave today having gained [PAUSE – look at Steve) a new dress and some nice flowers.

Now I wouldn't say Steve was an ugly baby, but his mum only had morning sickness after he was born. I believe my main responsibilities for today was to ensure that the groom arrives on time, sober, and looking good……..Well 2 out of 3 isn't bad. After all I'm best man, not a plastic surgeon!

Now Becks I still have no idea how Steve has ended up marrying you here today, even though it was my house warming party where you both first met. I suppose it's because there wasn't a guitar there. Most men use guitars as instruments to pull the ladies but Steve's guitar playing scares off women, small children and any animals within range of the sound he produces. Many times I heard him on the guitar and it's like the toughest round of Name that tune. During the service today I couldn't help thinking it's funny how history repeats itself, I mean it was about around 29 years ago Beck's mum was sending her daughter to bed with a dummy………and today it's happening all over again. Becks also remember, men are like fine wine, they start out like grapes and it is your job to stamp on them in the dark until they mature into something that you would like to have dinner with.

Joking aside, Steve is my best friend in the world who I have had the pleasure of knowing for over half my life. He is a true friend. He has listened to me and helped me through many a crisis and has been there for my brightest and darkest hours. Standing here today representing him really is my honor and privilege.

I was trying to work out how to finish this speech here today so I rang a good friend of mine. He told me his story about his wedding ring. He explained to me that he's been married for 24. He said, a wedding ring should never be removed as it should be a permanent symbol to the world of your commitment and love to each other and when you are apart and feeling unsure of anything or down you can just look at your wedding ring and remember all your good times together and smile and gain strength from what the 2 of you share even when apart. He told me that since that day 24 years ago when his new wife pushed that wedding ring on his finger, he hasn't had it off since…………..

On that note, I'd like to thanks you all for not falling asleep and wish the happy couple well and toast their future happiness together. Ladies and gentlemen, to the bride and groom, Steve and Becks, Mr and Mrs Jones.