Speech by Tony Martin

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Tony Martin
Speech Date: 04/08/2012 09:10:06

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Before I start, I have been informed to speak slowly and clearly due to the hard of hearing…and the English, so this speech will now take 20 minutes instead of five. You can all thank Laura for this. For those who don't know me, I'm Tony and I drink Vodka and Coke.

Thank you all for coming here today for this very special occasion. The fact that so many of you have travelled such distances to be here and taken time off work is a tribute to Gary and Laura – one word of advice however, if you are off work because you are pulling a ‘sickie’ – watch out because I'm sure Laura has her notepad and pen handy to take notes for the disciplinaires!

I would like to take this opportunity to say what a fantastic day it's been, a lovely ceremony and Laura, you look absolutely stunning. Gary, thank you for taking the day off work!  Congratulations to you both. It has been a very emotional day; even the cake is in tiers!

When Gary had exhausted all other options and decided as a last resort to ask me to be his best man, I jumped at the chance, quite literally – out the window and ran down the road. No way is anyone getting me to stand up and make an unfunny speech in front of loads of people who I don't know and even worse, for those that I do know. But there he was down on one knee begging me to say yes – a bit like how he proposed to Laura.

With those big puppy eyes how could I say no – now I know how Laura felt on the evening he popped the question!

A wise man once told me that the best man's speech should last as long as it takes the groom to make love…So thank you all very much ladies and gentlemen, have a great day!!

So Gary and Laura you've finally got married, for better or for worse, which is quite appropriate as Gary couldn't have done any better and Laura couldn't have done any worse.

I know a lot of people here are probably wondering just what does Laura see in Gary?  Well I have known him for long time and to be fair…I don't know either, perhaps it was the climbing skills he demonstrated on their first holiday to Tenerife when he climbed a phone box outside a pole dancing, or his navigation skills whilst trying to find the stairs that Laura apparently moved after they'd both had a night out in Cardiff with Michelle & Lee. He'd like to think she admired his driving skills, but I think she feel for his cheesy chat up lines.… “Of course you can wait in the taxi for your friends, how often do you come down to Greyfriars road?” … the rest as they say is history … but what I can say is she found the way to his heart via his stomach – I can certainly vouch for her Sunday morning fry ups and my grandson loves his angel cakes! But when all is said and done, I think we all know how much they love and support each other….

One of my last duties before I toast the happy couple is to read a few cards…

I would like to, on behalf of the bridesmaids, thank Gary for those kind words and to also pass on my personal thanks to the entourage at The Vale Resort for a job well done in getting Laura  to the church almost on time (I'm told it took quite a few people!). I heard she put up a hell of a fight.

I would now like to personally thank Gary; it really has been a great honour to be your best man today.

So on that note, before the waterworks start, ladies and gentlemen, it gives me immense pleasure, to invite you all to stand and raise your glasses…in a toast to Gary and Laura, the new Mr and Mrs Evans. We wish them well for the future, and hope they enjoy a long and happy marriage together

To Gary and Laura!