Speech by William Hornsey

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: William Hornsey
Speech Date: Aug2005
Ladies and gentlemen, it is of course customary for the best man to talk about the grooms past… but we haven't got all day so I'll move on.

I first met Rob at university where I was a mere slip of a lad, and so – it may surprise you to know – was Rob! We quickly realised that we had many things in common; things that we still have in common today – like our dress sense!!!

Rob and I made a pact at university that when we eventually got married (not to each other obviously), that he would be my best man and I would be his.

And true to form, when I got married 3 years ago, Rob was my best man, and now here I am repaying the favour – even if I am one of 6!

With Rob being the type of person he is it has not been difficult to think of stories or incidents to retell to you today, indeed it is harder to decide which stories to leave out – but luckily with Carole's help I have managed to put together the important ones.

I am not at liberty to divulge the goings on during the stag weekend to Puerto Banus, but I will say this, Rob – your golf handicap needs some help!, Pete on the other hand – you just need help!!

Rob was born in 1974, which incidentally for the historians amongst us, was the year of the three day working week – something which Rob has never managed to get over.

When Robert was 10 years old, he went for an interview at a local private school, and as this would also include an exam (something which Carole told me, that Rob wasn't very good at) – like I needed telling, Martin took it upon himself to coach Robert the answers to the likely questions – such as, ‘your favourite day out’ or ‘your hobby’. Each night after school Robert and Martin worked diligently until Rob had got the answer word perfect.

After the exam Rob came home and told Martin that both questions had been asked, to which Martin punched the air in delight, and then asked which one did you do?

Rob said “neither – I did the one on computers” and he still passed. So even then he could bullshit for England!

At university he also demonstrated many qualities that have stood him well in his chosen profession, he was competitive, playing American football and reaching the dizzying heights of kit secretary. He has gone on record saying that he is good at American football – well quite frankly who is n't?

Other qualities Rob demonstrated in abundance was his impatience, ability to work to tight deadlines and an ability to convince people ( girls) that they really shouldn't miss out on this opportunity.

Talking of tight deadlines reminds me of a story of Rob in our last year of university, which kind of sums him up!

In the final year things start to get a bit serious with the workload and the realisation that the next few months could map out your future direction. In the house that we shared we all had to undertake our dissertations which is probably the most important bit of work you do at uni, they normally take about 3 months to complete, and are very stressful.

So everyone starts their work after Christmas, and by March everyone has completed their work – everyone that is except Rob. Rob hadn't started his, he still hadn't started his 3 days before the deadline, or 2 days, but on the day before, he finally started it – at around 8 pm. The rest of the house went out for a beer, thanking our lucky stars that we weren't in Rob's predicament, whilst Rob was left upstairs in his bedroom, working at his computer.

It was of course no surprise when we came home at midnight to find Rob's bedroom light on and Rob still at the computer – however we were surprised to find him playing Command and Conquer!!!

Of course we still weren't surprised the following morning when we found Rob pacing up and down the house looking very stressed – however our surprise turned to concern when we realised that the cause of his stress was because; he couldn't get past level 4!

Somehow Rob managed to submit his dissertation, and to my eternal embarrassment he got the same grade as me.

So as you can see, these examples sum Rob up – he does the absolute
Minimum and still gets away with it.

Rob and Claire have worked as a great team to organise this wedding. Claire looks fantastic and I would like to take the opportunity to thank the bridesmaids for all their hard work today and for keeping Claire calm in the run up to the big day.

I also want to thank Claire's parents Peter and Gloria and Rob's parents Carole and Martin for helping to organise a fantastic venue for the wedding, the flowers look lovely as do all the other decorations.

I know Rob and Claire will make a great couple, Claire looks absolutely lovely and I know Rob feels lucky to marry her.

In many ways they complement each other perfectly, Claire is beautiful, intelligent, hardworking, level headed and Rob.… Is not!

Robert is a fantastic friend, a loyal friend, the life and soul of the party; it is a privilege for me to be best man.

Rob and Claire

“Love one another and you will be happy, it is as simple and as difficult as that.”

I would like you all to raise a glass to Rob and Claire